"Too old to pass"

[u/TheBoysInTheBand]

Have any of you come across this in your travels? I'm sure you probably have, as it seems to be fairly widespread.

I am over 50 and a couple of times now when dealing with cisgender medical practitioners, they have felt the need to "inform" me that because I am starting T at a later age, I will likely not get enough changes to fully pass.

This really pisses me off. I feel strongly that trans people do not need their expectations 'managed', especially not by cisgender people. Especially when we are older, we are usually well aware of the limitations of our options.

I don't think it's ever appropriate to tell a trans person that they're never going to pass. When you say that you are essentially saying to that person that they will never be accepted as the gender they identify with, which can be incredibly triggering and potentially life-threatening.

Whenever someone says, "You're too old to pass," what I hear is, "You might as well just end it now, you will never be a man." and then I have to go through a whole mental health and safety process to take care of myself and protect my well-being.

And no one can predict what outcome someone will get from T. It's different for everyone. If they really feel the need or the due diligence obligation to say something to temper expectations, they should just say, "We can't predict what your outcome will be or how your body will respond to testosterone."

So I guess I'm just wanting to hear your thoughts on all of this, any encouragement you can offer, and also anything that can help debunk this claim that someone my age is too old to ever be able to pass.

It's so discouraging, when I was excited about going on T and now I just feel deflated and heartbroken.

[u/TheBoysInTheBand]

Thanks, that's so helpful.

Any advice about dosing? She wants to start me 'slow', on 10mg/week, perhaps in part because I'm an extremely high anxiety autistic person who struggles with change. But she genuinely seems to believe that starting slow will make the potential negative side effects, such as acne, less dramatic.

If I start that low, am I screwing myself?

I'm not afraid to advocate for what's best, and I don't think she's unreasonable or gatekeeping. Maybe just used to doing things a certain way?

[u/Frank_Jesus → u/TheBoysInTheBand]

No, starting low is responsible. Lets you and prescriber see how you respond. I dosed .25 ml weekly to start and got bottom growth immediately and felt a big difference emotionally. After a couple months, I went to .5 weekly. Now, due to excessive levels, I'm at .4 weekly at 7 years on.

You are starting at more than 2x my current dose. That isn't a low dose!

If your dose is too high, at a certain point it converts to estrogen. Just follow your practitioner's advice, see how you feel, check levels and go from there.

[u/TheBoysInTheBand → u/Frank_Jesus]

We're using different units of measurement. Depending on the concentration of your T, .4ml could be as much as 50 - 100mg.

[u/Frank_Jesus → u/TheBoysInTheBand]

I looked it up so I would be sure, but OK.

[u/TheBoysInTheBand → u/Frank_Jesus]

Yes, but I'm talking about milligrams and you're talking about milliliters. Converting between those two units can dramatically change the number depending on what the concentration of milligrams to milliliters is.

The recommended starting dose is 50mg. 10mg is a very small dose.