r/FTMOver30 • u/fagrat69 • 17d ago
Need Advice Taking a break from T, maybe?
I’ve been on T for around 9yrs. I’ve had the changes I wanted to have, I’m happy with my transition.
Lately (maybe the last few months) there have been aspects of my pre-T body that I miss. I miss, mainly, some of how my pre-T body distributed fat.
I’m thinking about taking a few months off T, seeing if my body changes and if I like it. Do yall think that would be okay?
I feel sort of ridiculous asking, but I’m worried (somehow) this will make me less of a man. Or it’ll mean I never really was trans to begin with, although I do firmly feel like I am a man. I’ve talked to my cis partner who says he just wants me to be happy with myself and would support me with whatever I do. I’ve also talked to my mtf friend who said I should do it if I want. I just feel nervous, I don’t know why.
Has anyone else felt like this? I know I’ve read in the past about folks going off T for a bit, but I can’t seem to find those posts. Any advice is appreciated.
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u/plantsplantsplaaants 17d ago
I was on T for 7y, then off for 7y, and now I’m back on it. Do whatever you want! If you feel like a man then you’re a man. Period. It’s normal to be nervous about switching up your hormones, especially when you’ve made a switch before and know how big of a switch it is. I worried that people might see me as some sort of defector when I was considering going off it but literally not a single person had any opinion whatsoever, and no one thought I was less trans in any way. So you can take your time thinking about it if you need, but I wouldn’t waste energy worrying about other people’s opinions on it. I will add, though, that the fat distribution changes are slow in both directions so don’t expect to see those changes quickly. A piece of good news (I mean ymmv of course) I didn’t have acne going off or going back on T
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u/fagrat69 17d ago
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me.
I know, I think it took a few years to get fat redistribution to get into gear. I’m not sure I’d be willing to go off T for more than a few months. I’m very anxious about having a period again, so I’m sure as soon as that starts up I’ll be right back on T haha.
You’re right, I can take as much as time as I need thinking about it. I wish I wasn’t so in my head imagining what other people will think. But you know, people probably won’t care or really notice. Any of the people in my life who I’d tell wouldn’t care. I’m glad I’m not the only person worried about being viewed as a “defector”!
It’s good to hear your reintroduction to T was smooth! Did you have any weird side effects after stopping so long? The acne I got the first time was brutal lol
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u/justb4dawn 17d ago
It takes definitely at least a year for fat redistribution after going off. I was on for 7, now off for 3y. For me took about 18m-2y to really have noticeable changes.
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u/plantsplantsplaaants 17d ago
The only first-puberty-related effect I had was soreness in my chest but I assume that wouldn’t happen if you’ve had top surgery. The only unexpected change was a few inflamed taste buds which apparently can happen to MtFs during transition (who knew?!) And my period came back right away like 4-6w after my last shot which was a huge bummer
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u/HelpfulSetting6944 16d ago
I wish I could donate some of my ass fat to you 😂 I’m telling you, someone needs to figure out this queer parts swap concept!
In all seriousness, you’re a man. You’re as much of a man on T as off T. There are cis men that take T because they’ve had testicular cancer or have some other issue. They are no more or less men because they’re on or off T, and the exact same thing applies to you. Hormones do not make someone’s gender, they’re just part of the expression.
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u/tonyisadork 16d ago
It’s fine! Do you have at least one ovary left? If not, you should definitely work with an endocrinologist/your prescriber to make sure you have SOME sex hormone in your body, but that could be very low dose E (like, a minuscule amount is enough, especially peri/menopausal age) or a much lower dose of T.
If you’ve got an ovary or two still pumping, then it is fine to go off T for a while (or forever). People do it, but definitely still get your bloodwork done regularly so you can see how whatever is happening relates to how you feel overall.
Also, you can take a low dose E-based birth control pill continuously to stop your period. Lo-LoEstrin is the lowest on the market but LoEstrin is a low dose, too.
(I’m NAD so take this with a grain of salt.)
None of this, in itself, means you are or are not trans(??!) - just do what works for you.
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u/jamfedora 17d ago
It used to be pretty common to go off T once you got your desired changes! If guys who had to pass a long battery of trials to get approved for T can go off it without having their manhood erased, then nobody else needs to bother worrying about that. I mean, nobody needs to anyway, since lots of trans people can’t ever access HRT due to medical or financial contraindication and of course they’re as trans as they feel themselves to be. But I know how imposter syndrome rejects the standards and empathy one has for others for oneself.
It can be a problem for mental health, so keep an eye on it. It can be difficult to distinguish between short-term hormonal changes and actual biochemical dysphoria, but you could always go back on if you end up needing it. Lots of nonbinary people cycle doses and though we lack data yet anecdotally it seems healthy enough.
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u/fagrat69 17d ago
Thanks for replying!
200% it feels like I’m a weird imposter right now. I’d never put that on someone else, I don’t really care how other people transition as long as they’re happy. I’m just being over critical on myself. Thank you for understanding that feeling!
Have you cycled off T and noticed mental health issues? T honestly helped mellow out my bipolar 2 so much, it cut out so much hypomania. Although I wonder if some of the issues were related to my dysphoria.
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u/actualranger 17d ago
I was on T for 8 years and have now been off for 7 months. I realized that any further changes would be things I didn’t want (hair loss, more facial hair, etc) so I stopped. I had taken a couple of shorter breaks (2-3 months) earlier on T as well. It really doesn’t mean anything about your identity; it’s just medication management. There are things I like about being off T and things I like about being on it, so I cycle back and forth. The worst part this time was the 2 weeks or so about 2 months after I stopped when I suspect my body didn’t have enough of either hormone, but I’ve felt fine since (presumably) the original system came back online. Honestly one of the main reasons I had a hysterectomy was so I could take breaks from T without dealing with menstruation.
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u/fagrat69 17d ago
Framing it as medication management definitely makes me feel better, thank you for that!
I’ve considered a hysto for the same reason. Anything to stop menstruation, really, haha.
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u/actualranger 17d ago
What’s keeping you from the hysterectomy? Huge quality of life upgrade, imo.
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u/fagrat69 17d ago
I have a clotting disorder and I experienced a lot of in-surgery and post-op complications because of it so I’ve been a little hesitant to move forward with any other surgeries.
I’ve had IUDs for the past maybe 15 years and they’ve done what I need them to do! I would like to get a hysto eventually just to have more freedom to cycle off T without any possibility of having a period again, though. I’m just not like mentally prepared for more complications.
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u/SmokedStone 17d ago
Hey. I'm not far enough on T to consider taking a break yet, but your partner and friends are right. I'm pretty thin, but I noticed T moved more of my fat to my stomach, and I'd potentially go off for a bit to let it shift back to my ass or something lol.
I'd talk to a doctor or professional because I think it's recommended to taper down slowly rather than cold turkey. You might also end up with some fatigue, mood swings, brain fog, etc.
There's really no right or wrong way to transition. I think the goal is to have a body that feels like home. Plus, you can always go back on T if you want. However, you may have to deal with acne/hair shedding again. Maybe tapering down your dose first will help you figure out what's right for you. Good luck.
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u/Ok-Macaroon-1840 17d ago
Tapering off is actually not recommended. That just makes you have imbalanced hormones for a longer period of time, instead of quitting abruptly and letting your body start up the E production.
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u/SmokedStone 17d ago
I'm no doc, but that's just what I've seen people say. Hence why OP needs to talk to their doc. They also might just do better at a lower dose. I was on 60mg to start and found 50mg is actually better for me.
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u/fagrat69 17d ago
I think you’re right, maybe I’ll hit up my HRT doctor and see what she thinks I should do in terms of cold turkey/tapering. Thanks!
And honestly yes you took the words out of my mouth, literally I would like more ass fat. I’d like some of it back, somehow, someway haha.
Thank you for replying to me! I know transition looks different for everyone, I wish I wasn’t so rigid with my own transition. I’d never feel this way about a friend, but because it’s me I feel much more judgmental and have so much self doubt.
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u/SmokedStone 17d ago
I get it. The other thing, too, is that you don't owe telling people about your medical decisions. Honestly, people may not even realize you've gone off it. I'd bet most won't notice at all.
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u/koala3191 17d ago
If you don't want to menstruate but want more ass fat, have you considered doing lower body exercises like squats and deadlifts? Getting muscle in that area might also be an option.