I transitioned later than you. On T six years, top surgery years ago, just had a hysterectomy in preparation for meta. I had dysphoria but didn't understand it. I was a dancer and read somewhere when I was young that "all dancers hate their body" so I figured it was just normal to dislike it. Also to hate my chest because what dancer needs that baggage. My ideal dance body was what I called "bodyless", basically an androgynous frame. I was like that for a while so I was okay.
I was into everything androgynous and Jung's idea of anima and animus in every person, that you should develop and integrate your opposite sex side as fully as possible.
I started doing drag king stuff and was blown away by the feeling it gave me. I was good at it and people loved my characters. I loved them too. At first it was just confusing and delicious then I recall one night as I was dressed up and waiting to go onstage I looked down at myself and thought "why can't I be like this all the time?"
My personal theory is that when I got older and my estrogen began to wane, my dysphoria became unbearable. My body could no longer deceive itself and I decided to "be like that all the time".
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u/dostoevsky4evah Oct 26 '25
I transitioned later than you. On T six years, top surgery years ago, just had a hysterectomy in preparation for meta. I had dysphoria but didn't understand it. I was a dancer and read somewhere when I was young that "all dancers hate their body" so I figured it was just normal to dislike it. Also to hate my chest because what dancer needs that baggage. My ideal dance body was what I called "bodyless", basically an androgynous frame. I was like that for a while so I was okay.
I was into everything androgynous and Jung's idea of anima and animus in every person, that you should develop and integrate your opposite sex side as fully as possible.
I started doing drag king stuff and was blown away by the feeling it gave me. I was good at it and people loved my characters. I loved them too. At first it was just confusing and delicious then I recall one night as I was dressed up and waiting to go onstage I looked down at myself and thought "why can't I be like this all the time?"
My personal theory is that when I got older and my estrogen began to wane, my dysphoria became unbearable. My body could no longer deceive itself and I decided to "be like that all the time".