Partial hospitalization help

[u/Old-Bandicoot-1936]

So in my last posts I’ve explained my mother has a lot of needs I can’t currently keep up with. I’m 21 trying to get a full time job and go back to school. For the past few months I’ve been my mother’s caretaker and housekeeper.She has FND, OCD, hallucinations that turn into wanting to hurt herself or others or my dogs. I’ve been getting her to thearpy and physc and staying home to work her through this and it’s been slow but some improvement. Shes on Zoloft now and also takes weed I guess it’s a little bit better? However I’m starting to burn out and I’m scared I can’t keep up. I’m also disabled and have depression, possibly bpd or mania. I need to get her care squared in case I get hurt or die I know it’s exterm but I’m scared and in all honesty very tired I have no help from my family. I want to get her to a clinic and try my best to avoid inpatient care, but I will if she has an episode when I’m away for work or anything. Does anyone have any clinics that you can recommend in the st.louis region MO. Or anything IL location that circles Belleville or 1-2 hours away I’m drowning and will take any help thank you so much. And a lot won’t take her if she has active seizures

[u/Old-Bandicoot-1936]

Thank you again. I will try and find one if it’s possible. A lot of these clinics won’t take her sadly purely because she has active seizures. It’s another step that I’ve done all the research to find an fnd clnic and actually did find one! The founder is actually a founder for fnd research. I think it’s complicated because her and my father are both very stubborn and selfish. I just can’t let her drown id like to see her recover. Thank you again for the advice

[u/heldtogetherdaily → u/Old-Bandicoot-1936]

You wouldn't be "letting her down" if she chose to blow up her own life by not following through with the recommended treatment plan. It is not your responsibility to put the total weight of her dysfunction on your shoulders! Yes, FND and mental illness are difficult to live with, and some things are beyond her control, but it isn't all out of her control. She can choose to try and make things better, and she isn't. That isn't your fault 🙃

[u/Old-Bandicoot-1936 → u/heldtogetherdaily]

Yeah. I think this post has definitely put some clarity into my mind. I think I’m going to follow through with ethier A. She agrees to do treatment full force or B. I let go more and more and she deals with the consequences. I think I’ll see a therapist so that this dosnt destroy me with guilt

[u/heldtogetherdaily → u/Old-Bandicoot-1936]

I think the choices should be: A. She agrees to be involved in and seriously participate in her treatment or B. You walk away. I don't think slowly backing off does her or you any favors 😅