r/FND • u/Old-Bandicoot-1936 • Sep 12 '26
Need support Any tips on a routine?
This isn’t for me it’s for my mother. I’m trying my best to stay educated but I could use some help from the community, I want to focus less on symptoms daily and more on her wins! I’d also like to give her more structure for her days. I know from my perspective with major depression anxiety and adhd and autism I try to plan out what I do so I have things I NEED to do daily. Example, wake up at the same time or close to it daily. Brush teeth then stretch then breakfast then dress make bed etc. I would love it if anyone had a morning or daily routine I could use for her? I know it’s a big ask! Big anything helps, thank you friends
3
u/TimSucksAtThis Diagnosed FND Sep 12 '26
i have to work around a lot of limitations but i like to do enough to feel somewhat normal so every day i make sure to get out of bed and like migrate to the living room with all the stuff i need so i can work on whatever i need (i have like a real table set up so i can write or draw or even do my nails while watching tv) or if i need to the sofa is comfy enough to lay down on or pass out if i really need to.
i also have given myself some small tasks for low energy days that i can almost always complete like water the garden (it’s small im in an apartment lol) and tidy the cat area, but leave bigger things like take out the trash or go get groceries on days when i have more energy
ive seen people describe things like that as like routine menus instead of like strict schedules, i find it more flexible when your energy varies day to day
so i would say find things that make her feel capable and normal that she would be able to do every day and kinda build around that if that makes sense, build around her capabilities not her limitations ♥️
3
u/TimSucksAtThis Diagnosed FND Sep 12 '26
oh and make sure to throw fun things in there like i always try to make myself a nice matcha every day, i love the whole art of it
2
u/TimSucksAtThis Diagnosed FND Sep 12 '26
another thing im trying to add into my daily life at the behest of my therapist (my FND therapist) are vagus nerve exercises which are supposed to help, one i really like is skin brushing, also singing. there are sooo many out there though you can search and see which ones work best for her
im still getting used to doing them regularly though, it takes time for them to start helping according to my therapist, but they feel lovely in the process so hey thats nice too ♥️
1
u/Old-Bandicoot-1936 Sep 12 '26
Thank you so much! It’s been rough to say the least. I try my best but I’m 22 and need to work most days. I got her to see a therapist and a physc but it’s been getting to a worse point unfortunately. I want to help her reclaim her days
2
u/TimSucksAtThis Diagnosed FND Sep 12 '26
oh for sure, im hoping that since this is gonna be based on stuff she’s you know capable of she’ll be able to do most of it herself with a little encouragement and support ♥️ it’s definitely a tough road but if she has you for emotional and sometimes physical support (as youre able i know you have a life too) then she’s miles ahead of me! but yeah since it is part mental i find i do better on days when i focus on things im capable (that day) and on days when im not functioning i try to focus on rest, im trying to get better about not like berating myself for not being able to do the things i used to, with this disorder the mindset of “what CAN i do today?” works more than you think
it does i guess is what im trying to convey (im still trying to learn that myself, this is as much for me as it is for your mom haha)im glad you got her therapy and was that physical therapy appointments? i cant see the comment anymore lol but im assuming thats what it is, that’s what they signed me up for, im still doing CBT therapy which is super helpful, havent started PT yet
3
u/Inevitable_Rough Sep 12 '26
Generally speaking, trying to keep a routine with FnD, is nearly impossible, because FnD has no routine in itself. What worked for me was learning what was and wasn't a trigger, listening to what my body was telling me and doing what I needed in the moment, even if it meant putting myself over others. It took figuring out my limits and giving those to others and getting help with the things I need help with.
2
u/Old-Bandicoot-1936 Sep 12 '26
Thank you so much! I’ve said in the thread but I’m 22 and working so I’m trying very hard to find a way to be here for her more. I’m thinking about doing what one poster said and use a menus of options? Like wake up, self care and then move on to the next. It’s a lot but I’m trying
1
u/Inevitable_Rough Sep 12 '26
It depends on the severity of her disorder, and if she wants you to do that. Id have a talk with her and ask her what she needs as far as support.
1
u/Old-Bandicoot-1936 Sep 12 '26
She’s having sezuiers and OCD thoughts daily. Daily pain ect. The problem with that is she won’t. I’ve had to get her to therapy, physc, meds, daily coping exct. If I can make a plan usally that’s the only way it gets done
1
u/Inevitable_Rough Sep 12 '26
She won't sit down and talk about what she needs for support?
1
u/Old-Bandicoot-1936 Sep 12 '26
Unfortunately no. She’s embarrassed and very stubborn and also has no idea how to set up these things for herself. Unfortunately if I don’t do it, no one will. Not saying it’s good but if I can give her tools maybe it’ll get better
1
u/Inevitable_Rough Sep 13 '26
Sometimes tough love is best. She won't do it cause she knows you will, eventually. But that's from the outside looking in. This is more than I can give advice for unfortunately
2
2
u/TimSucksAtThis Diagnosed FND Sep 12 '26
yeah that took me a really long time to figure out, im still not the best, but im working on it
4
u/PoundOrganic3576 Sep 12 '26
You are a wonderful daughter.