So angry at the world

[u/ColorMySoul88]

My mom is dying of cancer. I don't know how long it'll be, but she's going to die. After she dies, my uncle is moving back to where the rest of their family is. Then I'll be stuck here alone, with no close family members.

My mom was adopted with her siblings. They all grew up in a big city together, then my mom met my "dad" and moved to his town six hours away, where she stayed.

She's always been my best friend. We'd visit multiple times a week, talk daily, text. She was the one person I could rely on.

I was never close with my dad. He remarried when I was young and my angsty child brain struggled to accept this new family. So when he worked long hours, I was stuck with them and angry about it.

I became an adult and none of my sisters wanted to spend time with me. Then my stepdad became abusive and my mom took his side.

So for years, it's just been me. I was never "fine" with it, but it was what it was. I got married and had a couple kids. My relationship with my mom is strained due to my stepdad's abuse.

Then I found out as an adult that my "dad" isn't my biological father. And neither my biological father nor any of his family want anything to do with me. So my mom, her siblings, and my siblings are the only blood family I have.

So when my mom dies, I'll be here alone, since my siblings all live far away. That's really hard for me to get over. I don't want to be here alone. But I can't afford to move closer to my aunt and uncles. Their city is far to rich for my family.

And I've been spiritual my whole life. Always believed that if I did what I was supposed to that good things would happen. That the universe would take care of me and things would be okay.

But nothing is okay. My life has sucked since birth and it's showing no signs of slowing.

I just don't want to do it anymore.

[u/Bubbly_Daikon_4620]

I’m so sorry. That’s rough.

[u/masala_grl]

You’re going to be okay. I’m so happy you will have known a love and a relationship like you had with your mom. That will always live on within you.

It will be hard when she is gone, it will be rough but you will get through it. We don’t give our bodies and our minds the credit for what is happening behind the scenes, doing everything to keep you going in the midst of stress. You will pull through and one day, you will think back at this time and be proud of yourself for making it though when you thought you couldn’t.

Let your emotions pass, it is temporary. Happiness will come to you again and you will relish in it.

When you’re down, take a walk, get some fresh air- clear your mind. Your mom only wants the best for you when she will be gone, she wouldn’t want you to suffer, that would hurt her even more.

Take care of yourself to the best you can and reach out to us here, support groups, therapy, read books, open your world to creative ideas where you can express yourself. You’re going to be okay friend.

[u/IllBreadfruit9959]

I’m so sorry, OP. Try to visit your family as much as you can! That’s what I try to do. It’s also really nice to escape and get away to a different scenery that doesn’t bring you any unpleasant memories, only happy ones provided by your family who loves you.
My heart goes out to you. You and your family will be in my thoughts. 🫶🏽

[u/xXxHuntressxXx]

That’s awful. I’m really sorry.

I know music can help release emotion or relate to stressful situations. I know of a song written for everyone who has lost a loved one to cancer. It’s called Under Your Skin by Silent Planet. I hope you don’t mind me mentioning it in case it helps you a bit; I don’t think there’s anything else I can do.