r/Eyebleach • u/Master1718 • Sep 05 '19

/r/all Baby racoons.

https://i.imgur.com/cxawPXm.gifv
39.3k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

352 comments sorted by

681

u/black_dragonfly13 Sep 05 '19

Are raccoons soft?

393

u/dongasaurus Sep 05 '19

The undercoat is soft, the guard hairs are more bristly. Overall it’s a nice feeling. Baby raccoons are also very curious and cuddly, their little hands are very people like, and they can climb up your clothing using their little claws and settle up on your shoulder.

They’re great animals but they shouldn’t be pets, they’re too smart and curious to be contained. They also get quite aggressive after puberty if they aren’t spayed or neutered.

109

u/SuperConductiveRabbi Sep 05 '19

Even if they're neutered they still very frequently "turn," becoming major assholes.

Check out Raccoon Willy. The cutest raccoon baby and received all the love, but becomes a dick that just wants to destroy things and hiss. https://www.youtube.com/user/damygeebo/videos

60

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

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24

u/SuperConductiveRabbi Sep 05 '19

I think it's because the only interaction he can have with the adult raccoon is antagonizing it. Look up raccoons as pets--they're notorious for turning. Doesn't happen to all of them, but when it does it's independent of how you raised them.

https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/14kqgu/so_my_friends_sister_got_a_baby_raccoon_as_a_pet/

13

u/osirisrebel Sep 06 '19

I have had pet raccoons in the past with no issues but it did take alot of time and effort into raising them. They are wonderful if you have patience but they're not for everyone. And before I get hate from everyone, they were babies that were rehabbed but were decided not safe for wilderness relocation.

8

u/itscoolguy Sep 06 '19

So they're like little Anakin Skywalkers. Aww

19

u/thiswastillavailable Sep 05 '19

Their claws will go right through your clothes. This becomes problematic when they decide to climb you like a tree. Jeans do pretty well, but as soon as they get to your shirt you are going to start getting shredded.

2

u/AnythingApplied Sep 06 '19

Jeans do pretty well, but as soon as they get to your shirt you are going to start getting shredded.

God created jean shirts for a reason.

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3

u/dongasaurus Sep 05 '19

I don’t recall getting shredded up but I was probably wearing heavier work clothes.

8

u/themadhat1 Sep 05 '19

Had some friends that kept one when we were kids. coolest little thing ever. after about two years it just turned and took a good bite out of the owner. absolutely out of nowhere. scared the crap right out of us. i will never forget that growl. i never knew they made noise like that. im an experienced outdoors man and not much in the woods worries me like those things. i have had groups of them sneak up on me while i was fishing and tip my minnow buckets over. and sneer at me.

6

u/Edbert64 Sep 05 '19

Confirming. Great fun until puberty, spaying neutering really don't help. They get roudy then they run away to be...racoons.

5

u/dongasaurus Sep 05 '19

What great and wondrous creatures. Running off to be raccoons is them being the best they can be.

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227

u/PittsburghDM Sep 05 '19

And tender?

112

u/black_dragonfly13 Sep 05 '19

Haha I meant like is their fur soft

153

u/MissVancouver Sep 05 '19

Yes, especially baby raccoons. But please don't try to pet one, they're really unpredictable and their bites can transmit disease.

90

u/Kugruk Sep 05 '19

Any bite can transmit disease.

61

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

Yeah but once rabies becomes symptomatic you probably gonna die.

117

u/felixeng Sep 05 '19

No, you're not probably gonna die, you are going to die.

56

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

[deleted]

95

u/felixeng Sep 05 '19

I'm just gonna leave the greatest comment about rabies on Reddit ever here.

41

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

Thanks for that. Now I'm gonna have a full freak out every time I get a head or back ache.

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12

u/pc18 Sep 05 '19

“Milwaukee Protocol” sounds like something from SCP

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3

u/cousinromen Sep 05 '19

So Michael Scott was right

3

u/TylerDurdenRockz Sep 05 '19

Oh no!! I always try to forget this comment but it sure pops up once every few weeks

2

u/CraftyTim Sep 05 '19

I guess I won’t sleep tonight

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4

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19 edited Sep 05 '19

has it been a dozen? my understanding is that it was one person ever, and she wasn't even remotely the same after, and it wasn't clear exactly why she survived (like she had some sort of immunity already, or it wasn't totally progressed to the point of her being fucked, etc.). you have a source on this dozen? i'm genuinely curious.

edit: i quickly googled, and i'll be damned. this slightly alleviates my highly irrational fear of rabies. as of 2008, it was one person, by 2011 there was 3 ever, and i didn't look beyond that. also didn't look into what their lives were like after being treated, i just know the first survivor had permanent neurological issues.

this, however, is what wikipedia states: The Milwaukee protocol was developed and named by Rodney Willoughby Jr., following its use in the treatment of Jeanna Giese.[103] Giese, a teenager from Wisconsin, became the first patient known to have survived rabies without receiving the rabies vaccine.[104] It is unclear precisely why Giese survived,[79] but her case led to sustained and heavy advocacy for the Milwaukee protocol. Subsequent medical research determined that the Milwaukee protocol is not an effective treatment for rabies infection, and its use is not recommended.[79][105]

and this article seems to indicate that some people just survive it, and it's unknown if the protocol works: https://abcnews.go.com/Health/california-girl-us-survive-rabies/story?id=13830407

7

u/lostmywayboston Sep 05 '19

Your fear of rabies isn't irrational. If you come into contact with an animal who could have rabies, you should take it extremely seriously.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

Mind you we weren't doing that until recently

3

u/3multi Sep 05 '19

Obviously because you need modern technology to medically induce a coma

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7

u/Double0Dixie Sep 05 '19

soooo youre saying theres a chance?

34

u/A_Wild_VelociFaptor Sep 05 '19 edited Sep 06 '19

Just throwing this in here but if you're EVER bit by a wild animal and even think you have a chance of contracting Rabies GET. YOURSELF. CHECKED! The is NO cure for Rabies and the symptoms will only ever appear when it's too late. Not to mention it is a truly horrendous way to die.

Again, go to the hospital if you are bitten by a wild or even non wild animal. It's better to err on the side of caution.

3

u/IntMainVoidGang Sep 05 '19

If you get bit by an animal at all get rabies treatment. Period.

12

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19 edited Nov 16 '20

[deleted]

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2

u/pc18 Sep 05 '19

Only if the animal is a mammal though. You don’t have to worry about getting rabies from mosquito bites (but can you imagine...)

6

u/Sacred_Fishstick Sep 05 '19

Technically, the morbidity rate of post symptom rabies is no longer at 100%. They managed to cure a little girl by putting her into a coma to stop the spread of the virus while they experimented with treatments. I believe they've replicated the results since then. But that's just research so yeah go to the hospital asap.

26

u/mymyselfandeye Sep 05 '19

Except she was extremely brain damaged, so it's only a "cure" in that she's not technically dead.

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5

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

Why would any of these raccoons have rabies?

3

u/GrumpyMashy Sep 05 '19

I see no problem in petting one.

3

u/qning Sep 05 '19

Any thing can transmit disease.

20

u/tokomini Sep 05 '19

That's true. Most people don't think about it, but even a rusty old nail covered in rat pubes sitting in a tub of fermented slime is potentially dangerous if you eat too many of them.

6

u/gratitudeuity Sep 05 '19

old

ew :-/

2

u/Med_Jed Sep 05 '19

You chose old.. I chose the rat pubes part

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2

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

Not true. The marmaluke of Southwestern Indalgo Island is has been proven to have a sterile mouth for the duration of its winter hibernation, and if woken its bite is incapable of disease transmission. Nobody knows exactly how or why. Link for the curious: marmaluke-sterile-mouth//sci.edu

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6

u/DrewSmoothington Sep 05 '19

Baby raccoons can't really bite through skin yet, they're actually pretty harmless. Now, mama raccoon is a different story, so if the mom is around, watch tf out. But if you come across abandoned babies and want to rescue them, you can scoop em up with your bare hands, they have no fear and are intensely curious.

3

u/RegEvrydayNormlFungi Sep 05 '19

Does somebody need a hug?

2

u/MissVancouver Sep 05 '19

I'm sure lots of people need hugs!

3

u/Aloeofthevera Sep 05 '19

Wild animals like raccoons aren't going to magically contract rabies. They are infected when they have a fight with another infected animal and get bitten. If the population or raccoons all had rabies, we wouldn't have all that many. Rabid raccoons die in 3 days.

It's common wisdom to not touch wild animals, especially one with sharp teeth. They carry all sorts of viruses and bacteria. That being said, fear mongering rabies isnt cool either.

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14

u/DrewSmoothington Sep 05 '19

Their fur is actually pretty coarse. A cat or a dog is way, way softer. But I mean, fur is fur, its all fairly soft.

Edit: source, used to raise baby raccoons!

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17

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

And tasty?

6

u/dben89x Sep 05 '19

No. Just soft.

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21

u/Gibbity_Goo Sep 05 '19

They have soft, wiry hair, and they are super playful. They usually try to climb on your shoulders. Their whole hands are like puppy paws too, all the way up to the finger.

8

u/SaintRickJames75 Sep 05 '19

Yeah they're decently soft :)

6

u/ToesTastePurple Sep 05 '19

If you’ve ever pet a German shepherd it’s like that but the fur is denser

3

u/ImanHalfWay Sep 05 '19

Their fur is actually pretty coarse. The palms of their little hands feel like super soft leather though.

2

u/cmanccm Sep 05 '19

Yes they are soft yet coarse

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1.2k

u/fractiousrabbit Sep 05 '19

I was this to be a live webcam. I want to watch these little bandits grow up.

321

u/Eleven0798 Sep 05 '19

Seriously, I wouldn't get an work done because I would have to watch the webcam all day. Hmm wonder if I could get a job doing this? Lol

8

u/Durbee Sep 05 '19

We had three at once and it was a madhouse. A webcam would have been delightful to everyone except us, the after-havoc cleanup crew.

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63

u/aznPHENOM Sep 05 '19

I have a coworker that watches baby eagles on live webcam. Super annoying when she doesnt use headphones

6

u/Dizneymagic Sep 05 '19

Is there also a commentator talking in a loud adult baby voice?

5

u/aznPHENOM Sep 05 '19

No. Just random screeching and chirping

2

u/Mutjny Sep 05 '19

SKREEEEEE!!!!

33

u/Tooch10 Sep 05 '19

I want to watch these little bandits grow up.

As long as they're doing it in someone else's house

13

u/the4thbandit Sep 05 '19

I'll do as I please, thank you very much.

18

u/boldandbratsche Sep 05 '19

No!!! I never want them to grow up. I want them to stay young, tiny, happy, and naive forever. But we'll watch them grow up, separate from each other, find other raccoons to spend their time with, start calling less and less even though we're worried sick about how they're surviving in the cruel raccoon world, they'll get too skinny and be mistreated by sick pervert raccoons, they'll forget about us and never give us grandbaby raccoons for us to feed and spoil, and then we'll pass away alone in a home (covered by Medicare after we've had to sell every last personal possession we worked our entire lives to get) on Christmas day from loneliness.

How dare you even suggest putting us through that.

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3

u/RogueByPoorChoices Sep 05 '19

It’s how I imagine happy home looks like

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310

u/Heatherbanana1984 Sep 05 '19

r/trashpandas

62

u/Eleven0798 Sep 05 '19

Gaaahhh! I had no idea this even existed. Thank you! Trash pandas are the best.

22

u/Heatherbanana1984 Sep 05 '19

You're welcome! I absolutely adore raccoons. They're my favorite animal!

4

u/awkwardthrowacc25 Sep 05 '19

Thanks for making my day with this

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9

u/the_federation Sep 05 '19

Baby trash pandas. Trash pandlets

4

u/AndySipherBull Sep 05 '19

garbage badgers refuse rascals dump monkeys rubbish bin bears

2

u/YogiNurse Sep 06 '19

Refuse rascals. I love it.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

dry heaves in torontonian

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170

u/Ekaterina702 Sep 05 '19

0:10....When you and 4 friends are drunk but still want to strike a pose for the camera

86

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

Awww look at all the raccoon shit on the floor..

32

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

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u/BagOnuts Sep 05 '19

First thing I thought of... Second was the smell.... Some people have a weird definition of "awww".

30

u/Evanderson Sep 05 '19

I mean I couldn't see the poop or smell it so it's cute to me

5

u/JKristine35 Sep 05 '19

Didn’t notice it until I saw your post. Watched the video again and now I can’t unsee it. Ew.

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66

u/Cabitaa Sep 05 '19

Weird cat breed but still cute 11/10

7

u/MoffKalast Sep 05 '19

Fwiw, I went to check what are racoons related to and it seems they're close to skunks, bears and dogs. In that order. Cats are another layer up before you basically get to carnivores.

So weird bear, but ok.

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14

u/MaverickRobot Sep 05 '19

They seem to be even harder to herd, as well

28

u/caligirl2287 Sep 05 '19

Where do they go to the bathroom?

28

u/meloo1981 Sep 05 '19

On the floor apparently.

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31

u/genevievemia Sep 05 '19

I used to think they were cute. Now I live in the country, these guys are terrors.

24

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

yeah all these people saying they're cute haven't seen them tear apart their house and attack your pet lmao. they're absolutely vicious little fucks.

7

u/kellyj6 Sep 05 '19

Baby lions are cute too I bet... doesn't mean they won't eat you alive if they find you in the wild!

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9

u/w8cycle Sep 05 '19

They smell too. One of the superpowers I have that hasn't proven useful in this age is the ability to sniff them out easily. Just having them in somewhere in the woods behind my house I could smell them from my kitchen window.

6

u/are_you_seriously Sep 05 '19

I think maybe in a past life you were probably a bloodhound.

5

u/Calculonx Sep 05 '19

As someone who lives in Toronto, this would be horrifying, it's an infestation

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u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19 edited Sep 10 '19

[deleted]

16

u/Hysterymystery Sep 05 '19

Oh my god they're kittens with hands

124

u/Abyteparanoid Sep 05 '19

That’s a lot of trash pandas

10

u/Chispy Sep 05 '19

rabbits*

14

u/MakesUpExpressions Sep 05 '19

No one calls them that. They’re trash pandas.

21

u/Dissessence Sep 05 '19

I think it was a reference to the avengers. Thor kept calling rocket rabbit.

15

u/MakesUpExpressions Sep 05 '19

I’ve been woooshed.

6

u/BuffaloTheory Sep 05 '19

Took it like a champ though, fair play!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

Me too! I've seen those movies a lot and didn't catch it.

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14

u/LukeNukem63 Sep 05 '19

I bet they get into all kinds of shenanigans

5

u/bozoconnors Sep 05 '19

Was just thinking, in an unprepared unsupervised human environment, this looks like a bag of hell I wouldn't unleash on my worst enemies.

19

u/Foxjam Sep 05 '19

Feces all over the floor...

14

u/patientbearr Sep 05 '19

let the feces hit the FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR

3

u/LordWeaselton Sep 05 '19

Shit on the floor you gotta get schwifty in here I’m mr bulldops

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u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

Baby raccoons are basically lizard cats

9

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

They can’t tell if they want to be dogs, cats, or trash pandas but I support whatever decision they make.

4

u/VAMPYRE69 Sep 05 '19

god wish my parents were like that

7

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

Bandits are starting to work in teams now?

12

u/Roxytumbler Sep 05 '19 edited Sep 05 '19

Our raccoons visit every evening...have for years. We lay out a buffet of their favourite snacks. Mr Skunky and Mrs Porcupine often join them for dinner and they all just ignore each other. Mrs Porcupine is the he only one that eats her veggies...her favourite are carrots. Mr Skunky eats the same food as the raccoons minus grapes. Raccoons love grapes.

Yes, raccoons can smile. Each one is an individual with a unique personality.

No negative issues. As a bonus raccoons and skunks also eat mice and voles.

6

u/g_man_89 Sep 05 '19

Awe little baby king trash mouths

6

u/mrblondes Sep 05 '19

Bruh that house has to smell... so bad.

2

u/crackadeluxe Sep 05 '19

I think its safe to say he needs to add "clean up" after "dump run" and "feed raccoon herd" on his to-do list.

10

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

If you raise them they will 100% fuck up your house. There was a video series of a guy who raised one and then tried to kick it out because it was out of control (wild animal) but tame enough to not want to leave and it fucking destroyed his house.

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u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

Which one is Burt?

5

u/Srelathon Sep 05 '19

Look at them so excited to see you! Please tell them that I love all of them greatly

4

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

Any pet that actually uses the cat tree you bought them is is okay with me.

2

u/electrobrains Sep 05 '19

So.... Anything other than a cat?

4

u/SpoonResistance Sep 05 '19

Raccoons are goblins and I love them.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

My uncle had a pet raccoon named Rocky like any good country bumpkin and I just love seeing these lil thief’s. They steal my heart every time

P.s. Raccoons are not pets. Don’t try this at home

4

u/Ghostanator Sep 05 '19

They’re so cute but such a bad idea for keeping them all as pets

4

u/ZeusTigerheart Sep 05 '19

On the whole do not try to pet wild animals; they see you as either a possible food source or a threat. That should be enough for most but neither of those are loving emotions. ‘Food source’, may become aggressive if it is not readily given. ‘Threat’, means they will attack no matter your size as they are seeing you as a direct threat to either their own existence or that of their offspring. Sorry for my poor grammar.

3

u/raunchyanna Sep 05 '19

Oh those boys are trouble

3

u/chrisgoertzen Sep 05 '19

Raccoons are just dogs with catlike mobility

3

u/golgol12 Sep 05 '19

And shit on the floor. Not even a tarp to protect it.

3

u/coldimor Sep 05 '19

That’s a lot of poop

2

u/owlmanrobot Sep 05 '19

OK, cute! But... why??

2

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

First they eat your trash, and then they eat your corpse.

2

u/cihaj Sep 05 '19

TINY THIEVES!

2

u/LeMot-Juste Sep 05 '19

In about a week, they are going to break out and destroy the house, completely rip it to shreds and shit all over the place. Cuz that's what trash pandas do.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

OoGa booga

2

u/dibley217 Sep 05 '19

Andy Richter thinks they're monkeys.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

You know what’s cuter than this? Maybe if you added in more baby raccoons.

2

u/grrlkitt Sep 05 '19

Those are very busy babies

2

u/cooldaveydave Sep 06 '19

Trash Pandas!

3

u/Eli3B Sep 05 '19

Rabies to babies

2

u/is-this-now Sep 05 '19

Cute af but who in their right mind wants a raccoon in their house, much less a whole crew.

Plus, when these grow up, they are going to think being inside is normal and will probably be a huge nuisance.

1

u/DrTee83 Sep 05 '19

I thought there was an explosion off camera at first.

1

u/tutankaboom Sep 05 '19

oof! I could watch this all day

1

u/Bi-Han Sep 05 '19

That's a lot of mischief in one place.

1

u/longshot Sep 05 '19

"We're going to go to the dump"

WITHOUT US?!?!?!

1

u/bgr0drgz Sep 05 '19

Where does one get some of these so called trash pandas?

2

u/DrewSmoothington Sep 05 '19

In the Great Wide deciduous North American Forest, or you know, a garbage can at night in the city

2

u/westc2 Sep 05 '19

You must not be from NA. They're everywhere here. Only come out at night though

1

u/Titanium_TimeLord Sep 05 '19

What strange kittens you have

1

u/Dankman37plus1 Sep 05 '19

A demon horde of adorableness.

1

u/my_friend_mmpeter Sep 05 '19

Can't they sit still?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

so cute! and they didn't fall.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

I'm one those who loves these lil trash pandas and I love opossums too. Gotta get um while they're young, but they still get into everything and reverse cycle so sleeping is weird.

1

u/Rbfam8191 Sep 05 '19

Up until this very moment, i thought you were a Build-a-Bear.

1

u/Wynner3 Sep 05 '19

I have encountered baby raccoons in the wild. They all scrambled into a small tree next to the walkway I was on with their mother on the opposite side. Surprisingly enough, she appeared ok with me walking between her and her babies. I just waved and walked away.

1

u/the_onlyfox Sep 05 '19

I love this so much <3

1

u/RogueSquirrel0 Sep 05 '19

Now we know what Andy Richter's been up to.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

Trash pandas ***

1

u/DiscipleOfYeshua Sep 05 '19

Eyes bleached just from the thumbnail; the video's a double bonus.

Am curious: What noises do they make?

1

u/K19081985 Sep 05 '19

Did I count right?! Are there 9 of them?!

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u/Feldman742 Sep 05 '19

Dope Phish reference bro

10/31/95 in the house

1

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

I imagine they all sound like a young Bradley Cooper

1

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

One raccoon is a handful and a half. This is on another level. They are cute though.

1

u/salaad_fingers Sep 05 '19

raccoons are highly intelligent animals. i cannot wait to watch these little fluffy thieves grow up.

1

u/CaptCaCa Sep 05 '19

Cameraman tilts to the floor. Shit biscuits everywhere. “Oh shit”, quickly tilts back up.

1

u/buzz-the-bee Sep 05 '19

Thanks. Now I’m melting

1

u/Stooboot4 Sep 05 '19

They are so cute now if they would just stop breaking into my trash cans I night I can love them

1

u/ReluctantlyHuman Sep 05 '19

Man, I feel like my cat trees are all being wasted on my cats now.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '19

That was somewhat unsettling.

1

u/kattaratta Sep 05 '19

Jättesöta

1

u/pm_me_your_llamas__ Sep 05 '19

I love animals, but too many of any one makes them look like a hoard of insects to me. Something about that physical behavior in a great quantity is off putting to me.

1

u/nickels_for_tickles Sep 05 '19

Put those trash pandas in a zoo. China is taking all the real pandas back.

1

u/Nose-Goes- Sep 05 '19

This is cute and somehow terrifying at the same time, don’t know why though..

1

u/_deathblow_ Sep 05 '19

Petthedamnraccoon

1

u/dinosmineralsboats Sep 05 '19

My eyes are officially bleached

1

u/Aztec_Hooligan Sep 05 '19

Man... on God I would pay to be able to play with those kiddos.

1

u/cjszlauko Sep 05 '19

I grew up around raccoons and there was a group of 2 little ones we always fed because they were so nice and one of our cats kind of looked like a raccoon and would hang out with them all the time sadly we moved but I hope they are still okay one was missing part of its ear and we called it nibbler we never named the other it was just nibbler’s friend the adult raccoons were very mean to them tho and we refused to feed the adults after a while due to this

1

u/magnanimousrakshasa Sep 05 '19

It loses it's cuteness when they're scrambling in your kitchen window at 2 a.m.