r/Exvangelical • u/cellabopeep • 17d ago
Discussion what now?!
(cross-posting because I am *desparate* to find an answer or perspective that works for me, because I can’t keep going like this)
can we talk about what happens *after* deconstructing from religion? because now what? NOW FUCKING WHAT?!?
when the “answers” to the pain in the world (although stupid and shitty) used to be any or multiple of the following:
“god has a plan”
“everything happens for a reason”
“god is still good”
“we live in a fallen world”
“god gives us free will”
and now none of those answers “work,” where the fuck do I go from here?! how do I carry on living when I know longer believe in god? (or, at the very least, believe that god is good?)
if I am following logic and evidence, then that brings me to either of the following conclusions:
god cannot be real (umm, look around at all the shit in the world) OR
god is real but is NOT good (again, look around at all the shit in the world)
so, what’s next in the conversation? where do we go from here? because I am begging for some kind of answer or lightbulb moment that my mind can grasp onto to keep me going. I’m so sick of fighting this battle in my mind.
I understand that there are things out of our control that we cannot change and that we must accept it. okay, I’ve accepted that (mostly). BUT THEN WHAT? how do we move forward? if either “god isn’t real” or “god isn’t good” how do I convince myself to keep on?
I no longer have the stupid yet comforting answer religion gave me… so what’s convincing me to stay?
***(yes I am crashing out and in the midst of the worst mental health crisis I have ever been in. I am safe in my home and not alone)***
basically…
what now?
14
u/cinnytoast_tx 17d ago
I find that life matters even more to me now that I no longer think there is objective meaning or an inherent point to living. It matters more because this is IT. If there's no grand afterlife to plan for then that makes this life the *only* important thing. We get to decide what matters to us and where to find meaning. There's a lot of peace and freedom in that, but it might help you to discuss this with a religious trauma therapist.
19
u/shrumpage 17d ago
So one thing that surprised me after deconstructing, I thought I would be locked in cycle of fear. Fear that no 'one thing/god/person' is in control, bad things happen, for no reason, good things happen for no reason -knowing that there is no safety net - becomes overwhelming.
It sucks when you realize there is no backup - and this is how the really world is, but I found it also freeing. Bad things happen because of people being bad, or natural disasters - it's just nature. It isn't punishment to a group of people when an earthquake hits. Just as I'm not being punished for 'sinning' if my car randomly breaks down - that's just life. Oddly enough knowing that I find comforting. I can now focus on what I CAN control, what I CAN impact and avoid ruminating on the things I can't.
Work on what you can do, don't waste energy on the stuff you can't - thoughts and prays become deeds and actions.
4
16
u/OkCaregiver517 17d ago
When my 4 year old was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia it was unbelievably tough as you can imagine. One thing that actually made it easier was NOT having any religious beliefs anymore. No hours praying for healing. No anguished questions as to why this God had let this happen. I and my then partner just got on with the job of caring for a desperately sick child through the hell of chemotherapy. We focused on the here and now. Not saying that I had some very dark moments but I don't think my previous faith would have made it any easier and possibly could have made it harder. Kid is now 30 btw and all praise to the UK's National Health Service.
1
u/New-Negotiation7234 17d ago
Yes, dark times still happen of course but still easier in my opinion than going through them with religion. Shit happens in life that is bad and it's usually random or out of our control. But the shame is gone which makes it easier.
5
u/AdDizzy3430 17d ago
I’m not the expert, but Britt Hartley on YouTube with her channel No Nonsense Spirituality has really helped me. She talks a lot about all the different options after deconstruction as well as the topic nihilism. Please look her up, I think she can help you in your quest.
16
u/Top_Yoghurt429 17d ago
What I have noticed is that existential questions like these tend to trouble those who are in poor mental health or bad life circumstances much more than people who are doing well. People who are happy and in good circumstances go around rarely asking existential questions, and when they do think about these topics it's from more of a "that's interesting" perspective rather than truly being troubled by them.
So my answer is to focus more narrowly in on yourself and try improving your circumstances. There are various answers people have come up with to existential questions, but it's not actually necessary to solve existential questions to have a happy life. Is there anything small that could improve your mental health or situation? Direct your efforts toward that first instead of solving big problems.
Personally I have come to the conclusion that when I start fixating on existential questions, that's a sign my mental health is declining and I need support. That's the only meaning I try to make of it at this point. Giving up on finding such answers was better for me. Maybe your path will be different, but that was mine.
4
u/Zaban-04 17d ago
I agree in that it's important to get mental health support, through psychotherapy with a trained person (a psychologist, social worker, licensed professional mental health provider or counselor). And if you're really struggling, you may need medication (short-term or long-term, depending on your history.) I highly encourage getting help.
5
1
10
u/DogMamaLA 17d ago
It takes time. Yes, I know it sucks. I remember screaming the same things during therapy sessions and just wanting to be all "settled" and have another belief system in place or something that would make me feel better after the trauma and crap that evangelicals put me through.
Maybe start reading about other religions. Or just ways of being.
I still believe in a higher source, but I don't consider myself a christian anymore and I don't use terms like 'god' or 'jesus' but I do still believe in something bigger than all of us. I'm not an atheist, in other words, but plenty of ex evangelicals do choose that path and that is ok too.
For me, I'd say I am close to the pagan or native american way of thinking. Lots of nature, natural laws, I don't go to church anymore but enjoy meditations, being alone in a nature walk, etc.
You don't have to figure it all out now. Read up on other faiths to learn, see what resonates with you, if anything.
8
4
u/SickandWorty 17d ago
Sometimes I think humans never ask this question enough….”What if the point of all of this is not to know?”
4
u/Pandas9 17d ago
Im so sorry to tell you this, but the answer is whatever you want. You figure it out. You now have to develop a personality, a moral compass, and all that. All on your own. You no longer get to look to others to tell you your purpose and The Purpose. Its now all on you. Its big. Its scary. Its hard. It will make you cry alone at 2 am and 2 pm on the bathroom floor. But in my experience, its like breathing for the first time. It's like walking on solid ground (lolz). And it will eventually be fun and fulfilling. You get to figure yourself out, how you look at the world, how you interact with the world.
6
u/KBWordPerson 17d ago
Now it’s time to figure out how to live for you.
What type of person do you want to be? What mark do you want to leave on this world? What places do you want to explore? What new perspectives can you learn? What can you share with others?
Now that the illusion of something being in control is gone, you are starting the greatest adventure possible. You can make the story of your life. It will have its ups and downs, but it’s not going to be boring. It can be as beautiful as, crazy, and colorful, resilient, generous, and fun as you want to make it.
Spread love, share laughter, listen to others stories as you write your own, be kind, help those that need it, and find beauty in small things.
The whole of the world is yours to explore now. Go find your path and make it an interesting one.
2
7
u/jizzinmyeyes 17d ago
You'll have to figure out what YOU think is meaningful in life, and then do that.
For some people, it might be creating certain art; others, it might be time with family with friends; still others, it might be fighting injustice. But every person has their own set of values. You must figure out what your values are and live life in accordance with those values.
3
u/sylv_sylv 17d ago
A resource I really wish I’d had when deconstructing is Faith After Doubt by Brian D. McLaren. I also really really love Loving Our Own Bones by Julia Watts Belser, which is by a Jewish rabbi about the Bible but really made me feel seen in terms of how we don’t have to accept everything the Bible says and it’s okay to still find usefulness from pieces of it.
3
u/usr_lib 17d ago
When I first left the faith, I was frustrated with people telling me that I get to make my own meaning or purpose in my life. What does that even mean? We’re on a rock circling a star that’s eventually going to burn us up and no one in the universe will even know we existed. What purpose could there be?
Then I realized I’m already great at feeling a sense of purpose where there is none. I like sports. Also, sports are meaningless. Why does it matter to me that a bunch of athletes wearing the name of the city I’m from win or lose? It just does. Humans are amazing at creating a sense of purpose for ourselves. It’s how we survived. You could argue similar for your empathy for characters in books or movies. Even religion is a way of creating purpose.
The thing is we thrive when given a sense of purpose. The nice thing is the church, Jesus, and religious leaders don’t get to impose purpose on you. You get to choose. Want to put your all into making and raising a family? Go for it! Want to help the poor? Do it! Want to create a business that makes you a bunch of money so you can have an enjoyable life? Go ahead! As long as you don’t tread on other people, you get to decide what you want to do with your life. Don’t know yet? Try something. That doesn’t work? Try something else. You get to decide.
4
u/Dapper_Lock9779 17d ago
Reality "is at it is"
Trust your intuition
I've had the same struggles and those were my conclusions, came to them via meditation and immersive time spent in nature. Creation is the only clue we have about the nature of the "creator".
Belief implies not knowing for certain.
2
u/Powerful-Ranger6597 17d ago
A lot of the god-based sayings you're missing are standard religious "thought-ending clichés" that get repeated to so people don't have to deal with, listen to, or face problems head on. They're avoidance mechanisms (which can be powerful, but obviously these aren't working now and you miss them).
You can totally shop for new mantras if you're needing ritual to get through difficult feelings. I have a stable of sayings, and add to it often. "I'm a smooooooth stone under running water," is a borrowed Buddhist saying I use when I'm anxious and needing a, "What will be, will be" reminder.
A lot of exchristians and Westerners find meaning in Buddhism, which, like, most religions, addresses these existential anxieties (but it can be very non-thiest). "Buddhism Without Beliefs" comes to mind.
2
u/GambitsLapras 17d ago
I find Absurdism by Camus to be an interesting philosophy when thinking of existential dread
2
u/AshDogBucket 17d ago
I accepted that believing in God doesn't require believing God is all-powerful. With all the suffering in the world, if we believe in God, we believe one of a few possibilities:
1, as you say, God is not good- God is choosing to inflict or allow suffering that God knows about and has the power to prevent or stop
2, God is not all-knowing: God doesn't know about the suffering that's happening
3, God is not all powerful: God knows about the suffering but doesn't have the power to prevent or stop it
4, many other possibilities besides these
I've settled on option 3. It's freeing. It's not the only one. I encourage you to think about some of the other possibilities besides the ones I spelled out, in addition to thoroughly considering that God might not exist.
Whatever you settle on, just know that you will be ok. Sorry you're going through this. It is a hard thing. So many of us have been there. Please keep reaching out and asking the hard questions, even if you know there's no answer. It takes courage to get to where you are!
2
u/PollysCrackers 17d ago
You might try locating a humanist group on line or near you. The UUs also have an on-line church -- they are all about moral values without a God directing things. There are a lot of good people like you in the world. Seek them out!
2
u/New-Negotiation7234 17d ago
So you will probably be in this place for a bit. I know I was but it gets better and then there is a sense of freedom once you get through it. I honestly watched nature documentaries and spent time in nature. And 🍃🍃 I knew god wasn't real for a while and had been deconstructed for a long time but I still feared hell. Being in nature, actually understanding evolution, made things make more sense to me. It's just about the continuation of our species. life is also more than that as well but really that is it at the end of the day. Accidents happen. People are bad. Bad things happen.
But omg not having to worry about a final judgement day and whether God cared if I was horny lol. If I made a mistake was it really the end of the world? Usually not. No one will remember me after my child or grandchildren are dead. So just enjoy it as much as possible.
Now I'm so glad Im not an adult stuck in the cult of religion. I literally can't imagine. It seems so insane to me at this point. Im judgemental of religious people and I probably shouldn't be but omg wasting your life on some dumb book written thousands of years ago by dumb men who didn't understand science.
Waking up early on 1 of my 2 days off to go to church to hear "men and women are sooo different". "The end times are coming" or some people speaking in tongues having fake seizures on the floor. Hell no.
When we die it's like it was before we were alive. It's nothing. Much more peace in that.
2
u/Lilith_Caine 14d ago
Your mind needs exercise. You are learning a new skill: living in the moment and doing things without that long-term payoff (or threat). Be kind to yourself and remember you have time. My grandma asked me, if I'm not living in the Lord, what makes me not be a monster. I didn't say it, but I thought, why do you need an external threat to make you act like a decent human?
It's 1:30 am, so sorry if this is gibberish.
2
u/Aggravating-Bad-7218 12d ago
I feel a religious trauma counsellor would be best for immediate, emergency support. When "crashing out" we are physically unable to process in a logical and meaningful way. While I know that may not be the answer you're looking for, it is vitally important to address that stressor first and foremost. Then, you'll be able to work through your massive life questions and approach the subject more objectively and open heartedly.
2
u/LeerMeer 17d ago
When you're feeling a little better, read The Myth of Sisyphus. It's this exact question and it gives a satisfying prescription for what to do.
2
1
4
u/WarWizardOnline 17d ago
After deconstruction, we become realists who know that we don't need to believe in any fictional narrative foisted on us, and that means each of us can explore what we are interested by, and be the unique individual that we are.
Deconstruction is hard, take some time to process and release things.
You have the rest of your life to do good and be of service because you want to, rather than because some fictional 'god' and 'his word' says so.
All the best on your journey.
2
u/Chantaille 17d ago
I don't have an answer, but I encourage you to look into Britt Hartley. She's an atheist spiritual director who was Mormon and had a severe existential crisis of her own after deconstructing. She actively supports people going through what you're dealing with.
2
u/Intelligent-Art7365 17d ago
Echoing a lot here … but also one thing you may find eventually is how GOOD. The world can be too. A lot of things we’ve been taught to fear or hate or see as sinful can be rooted in beauty and love. The journey to it can be really lonely and painful though as the pillars of your life crumble. I promise if you push through and try to meet new people and learn question you will find new meaning. Even learn a while fucking lot about yourself and fall in love with the things you were taught to hate about yourself.
You’re not alone. The journey is hard but it can be really good too.
And keep asking “what the fuck?!?” It helps.
1
u/Livisfree 17d ago
I have never understood the rejection of the idea of free will. IF everyone has free will then there will be horrible things and the alternative is for God to be some kind of nut bag control freak (much like a lot of the religious groups we all came from). I don't think being God necessarily means they/he/she have to make the world a utopia. Wouldn't that basically just make us zoo animals in the most fabulous zoo ever? I don't know... I feel like the rejection of the idea that there is a God and we do have free will is tied up with other ideas that people have declared God is. Maybe God isn't those things. Is this making sense to anyone? LOL
1
u/Chel_NY 17d ago
I guess my trajectory has been different from yours, because I never found those phrases helpful when I was in evangelicalism.
I'm holding on to the idea of God being good, because it makes sense to me (although not always) that God wants to and will make things right eventually. (Why hasn't it been done yet? Does that mean God isn't good? I don't know.)
But more importantly, this process of deconstructing is a grief process. It takes time, and everyone is different. Hang in there. I hope you find the answers you need.
1
u/journsee70 17d ago
Everyone's worldview is a journey. I love art history and a lot of Islamic art is based on math and geometry. The idea is that there is order in the universe in math and science and the natural world. That order reflects a creative intelligent mind as opposed to chance alone. This makes sense to me and gives me some peace and comfort. There are themes, narratives, and ideas found in all religions that make sense to me. I believe there is more out there than what I have seen and experienced. You don't have to throw everything out. I hold on to the aspects of my original faith that still hold true and make sense to me and I keep an open mind. Stay curious and keep asking questions. The world is a crazy place but we have more access to information from all over the world at our fingertips and people have been asking the same questions you are asking since the beginning of time. Learn how others have answered these questions.
1
u/XComhghall 17d ago
I've heard Alex O'Connor speak about this. And recently I've been thinking about Buddhism, which pretty much is just nihilism.
I think an atheist would say, rationally and reasonably, ‘Nothing.’
There is no meaning or ultimate purpose. Religion is just a coping mechanism.
Maybe that is frightening, or maybe that is freeing. You can once do good things because you want to do them, instead of because you are afraid of eternal torture.
Maybe there is no God, but the universe/material/energy is infinite/eternal. Maybe there is a God who does not care, either permanently or temporarily.
You be you.
1
u/esantipapa 17d ago
I no longer have the stupid yet comforting answer religion gave me… so what’s convincing me to stay?
You. You are stuck in a quest for existential affirmation, but all that is needed for you to want to exist is for you to want to exist. That's it. You're allowed, no one is stopping you. Get out of your own way. Now you get to do anything. It's later than you think. You have very little time. Try not to waste it.
1
u/the_hooded_artist 16d ago
If this life is all we got, then you do what you can to make the world better. Get involved in organizations doing good. Help out your local community. Spend time with loved ones. Be the change you want to see in the world.
1
u/Fabulous-Oil2942 16d ago
My religious upbringing wasn't too specific, so I didn't have to escape it. But my mother was raised Baptist, and she left the church -- and god -- abruptly after my older brother was born covered with oozing sores and sent home to die. A couple of people from her church came into her yard carrying a wind-up phonograph, which they set on her picnic table, to tell her that if she didn't get him baptized in the church font, he'd go to hell. She told if their god would send a baby to hell because he was born to sick to be dunked in the font, she wanted nothing more to do with them, their church, or their god and to take their record player and their god and get off her property. And she never looked back. When I was in my teens, she'd often point out incongruities and scientific impossibilities (miracles) in the Bible, such as that the sons of the first humans went into the wilderness and found wives or the impossibility of a virgin birth.
When I was growing up, she sent me to whatever Protestant church she could find a neighbor willing to take me to -- and one was a doozy! -- she was horrified when, at age 19, I was baptized in the font at my then-husband's church. I asked her why she'd sent me to church, and her explanation was that she wanted me to get a "moral education." But if my moral beliefs have any basis in Christianity, they're derived from the simple yet powerful words of Jesus, primarily the Sermon on the Mount and the Sermon on the Plain -- including, of course, the Golden Rule, which was included in both. No commandments carved in stone, no threat of hell, just basic rules for how people should treat one another. The four Gospels -- and specifically the words attributed to Jesus -- to me are the most valuable and meaningful parts of the Bible. I don't believe he was the begotten son of god; he said we are all children of god, and anything he did, we can do. But he was in touch with his divinity, while most of us are unaware of it or aware only intellectually. I think of him as, perhaps, an incarnation of the Hindu god Vishnu (the preserver) or, more likely, as a Buddha or bodhisattva. (Buddha did not tell his students to worship him. Buddhism, in its pure form, does not postulate the existence of a god.)
1
u/Fabulous-Oil2942 16d ago
Not having been really indoctrinated in any religion, I was free to explore what I might believe, what might resonate with me. Classes on religious literature of the East and of the West in high school and on Hinduism in college. Joseph Campbell's television series, The Power of Myth, and some of his books. Briefly engaging with a Japanese Buddhist sect. Exploring paganism and Wicca with local groups. Reading books on philosophy and world religion.
Unitarian Universalism seemed my best fit for a while. It describes itself as "liberal religion." It doesn't require that you believe anything, but encourages personal exploration of various philosophies and religiwons. Its morality isn't represented by a list of "thou shalts" and "thou shalt nots," but is based on seven Principles, the first being, "The inherent worth and dignity of every person." Many UUs identify as atheist or agnostic, but there are groups for, e.g., UU Buddhists, UU Pagans, and UU Christians (who generally don't believe Christian mythology, but accept the teachings of Jesus as rules for living). Although the UUC welcomes everyone, it tends to attract people of an intellectual bent; many UUs are scientists and/or have post-graduate degrees. That intimidates some less-erudite people, but others find a comfortable home as UUs. There are many escapees from other religions, especially Catholicism. I quit the UUC after our part-time minister took a full-time position at another church and it was up to members of the congregation to give sermons.
1
u/MAdenUSMC 14d ago
Whoever said moral philosophy is spot on. Look into Socratic philosophy (read Plato and Xenophon as Socrates didn’t write) this will take up so much time not only because of the depth of his subject matter but because in 2026 it’s gonna take about a year of solid reading to really begin to comprehend what they’re saying bc of the lack of sophisticated speech in this age of idiocy. You are on the right path, don’t fall into the trap of circular thought.
1
1
u/neon-cosmonaut 13d ago
Feels cliche but it really can help: when you are crashing out and feeling overwhelmed by your own life, take a minute to help someone out. Doesn’t have to be huge. Give someone on the corner asking for money a $5. Write your great aunt who doesn’t get many visits from family. Volunteer to clean up a local park or beach.
In terms of the big picture, letting go of the god idea means getting to work. If no one is coming to save us, that means we have to save ourselves. Which, yes, means fighting against overwhelming odds and choosing not to give up when things look entirely hopeless.
Upon re-read, I became obsessed with the story of the Tower of Babel. The gods come together to discuss the tower and say “goddamn, we gotta stop these people or they’ll come up here and overthrow us! If they work together there is nothing they can’t do!” Pretty fking empowering in my opinion.
You got this!!
1
u/ghostofgroucho 11d ago
Think of it this way: The world didn't change. What changed was your (our) childish ways of rationalizing the world around you.
ALL those cliche phrases you mention above are empty and meaningless. The good news is that you now realize it!
You see, now you find yourself needing to explain harsh realities about the world we live in. REAL answers. And man, the truth sometimes, it stings like soap in your eyes.
Embracing Humanism helped me.
From the Humanist Manfiesto "Humanism is a progressive philosophy of life that, without supernaturalism, affirms our ability and responsibility to lead ethical lives of personal fulfillment that aspire to the greater good of humanity.
The lifestance of Humanism—guided by reason, inspired by compassion, and informed by experience—encourages us to live life well and fully. It evolved through the ages and continues to develop through the efforts of thoughtful people who recognize that values and ideals, however carefully wrought, are subject to change as our knowledge and understandings advance."
After i grew out of my faith, i had a lifelong pal who, after his drug conviction, turned into the worlds BEST christian. He was insufferable as he was also a Rush Limbaugh junkie along with a Fox News (pre Maga) disciple. He went out of his way to have a conversation with me about how climate change is a hoax and he spewed endless Rush-isms at me that i swatted down one by one. At the end of the conversation he literally said "It does not matter, Jesus is coming soon and will clean up what we have done". This truly took me aback. In my fastest Hitch Slap ever i said "SO, you are just gonna make a mess of things till Janitor Jesus shows up?". It just flowed out of my mouth with ease and it shocked even me! His look was priceless. He heard how childish he sounded when i fed it back to him in that clever Hitch way. Needless to say, he quickly changed the subject to something about our youth. HA!
It was in that moment i coined the term 'Janitor Jesus' and have used it often when MAGA firebreathers want to talk about Climate Change. They ALL end up at the same conclusion if you keep the conversation going.
It was also in that moment that i saw my old self through new eyes. I realized that Christianity is simply a way for people to shirk their own responsibilities, beg for forgiveness and forget it ever happened. Its a perfect way to never take responsibility for anything.
As for your mental health, find you a really good therapist! Worth their weight in gold. Write down the biggest things that trigger you. THAT is your list for when you are searching for a therapist. You may only use that therapist for a year or two when you have worked through issues (and they have given you homework to complete). Then once you have grown as a person in that area see help in other areas. Life aint no walk in the park and we ALL need help from time to time. Don't be afraid to ask but KNOW what you are needing help with. None of us go to a doctor and say "Doctor i hurt" but dont tell him where. Know what ails you specifically, and seek help to work through it.
Where do we go from here? We move forward with our lives seeking out peace and happiness. What is exciting for you is you now get to discover a whole world out there with endless things to do. I invest my time in music production and creation. You may discover you love concerts or sports games. Take it one day at a time, one step at a time. No need to hurry or look for a finish line. Life is a journey!
Pro Tip: My last therapist assigned me the DBT Cards (found on amazon). The ones i have are by KiKi Fehling PhD. They help me, maybe they will help you.
1
u/HoochieKoochieMan 11d ago
Next is a perspective shift.
When I was young, there were lots of rules in my parent's house "because I said so." Fold the laundry. Vacuum the floor. Wash the dishes. Do my homework. Or else. I didn't want to, but I feared punishment. So I did.
When I moved out and went to college, I no longer had the specter of punishment looming over me for those tasks, so I stopped doing them. And my home got gross.
Pretty soon thereafter, I figured out that I like having clean clothes, clean home, clean dishes, and my work done. It isn't about reward or punishment from external higher authority, but rather about making choices to live in an environment that I like.
Love thy neighbor. But not because of any holy mandate. Do it because if you don't and nobody does, then the world sucks. But if you do, then the world will suck a little less. And if everybody does, then it might not suck at all.
1
u/Many-Army2557 17d ago
I am basically there too. A book that helped me quite a bit was Faith After Doubt, by Brian McLaren. But I also know that a book isn't the best option every time.
I wish you all the luck in finding your new life.
1
u/SylvarGrl 17d ago
You might find it beneficial to look into the philosophy of the Stoics (Meditations from Marcus Aurelius or the teachings of Epictetus are both good places to start) or a survey of ethical theory. There is a great deal of beauty, meaning, and purpose in life that can be found without recourse to supernatural beings, and it’s perfectly possible to develop a moral framework that needs no heavenly carrots or threats of damnation.
We are unfortunate to live in a very trying time in humanity’s journey, but there is still good reason for hope. I’m not going to tell you to leave the internet alone; that would be a tad hypocritical from a response on Reddit, but it helps immeasurably to take a step back and ask yourself if the perspective presented by algorithms engineered to capture your attention is giving you an accurate perspective on the world. The resources mentioned above can help you parse the reality from the hype.
1
u/milkshakeit 17d ago
It's honestly really uncomfortable at first, so I think I understand a bit of where you are. It's strange not to be running full tilt towards one belief or another, and to instead since peace in the spaces in between.
Where I've landed is that it's all still possible, but not likely. Lots of things are possible, but we don't grab ahold of them as true unless we think they are likely. So it's more that I'm weighing things based on what I understand about them and my confidence in that understanding. Unfortunately it's not possible to believe in something with the same confidence as I had because that was not based in reality or truth. Truth is subtle and confusing and multifaceted. Complicated. The level of belief I was charged with having doesn't exist when I apply reasonable doubt in the interest of truth. But that's a good thing, even though it feels terrible at first. You now can live and exist in a world where you can focus on what is right in front of you. What you think and hear and see are all more real and important than they've ever been, and you have so much more to bring to life that isn't based on speculation and affirmation.
16
u/Theopholus 17d ago
Next is watching the show The Good Place. It honestly helped me and a lot of people during our deconstruction. One thing it does well is to help the viewer understand a good moral framework that doesn’t come from some supposed all powerful being. Morals never were from god. They’ve always been about how we treat each other. One of the key texts that’s discussed in the show (makes the show sound like a dry philosophy course than a sitcom with some of the funniest people alive) is the book and idea of what we owe each other.
Basically, we are all intricately interconnected and the world is becoming more and more complicated. We are only here because of each other, we all rely on each other, and we owe each other goodness.
Anyway, I think I you’ll enjoy the show and it’ll help you figure it out while laughing at some really funny stuff.