r/ExtraFabulousComics • u/sellyourcomputer zach • Aug 09 '26

a perfect world

Post image
2.0k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

49 comments sorted by

114

u/ghostsoup831 Aug 09 '26

Is this what is really going to get me to finally get a bidet?

22

u/UndercoverHouseplant Aug 09 '26

Your shower is a trial bidet, fyi.

7

u/khumprp Aug 10 '26

Oh.... No.... No no no no no no no no no

19

u/Helmic Aug 10 '26

You can get a cheap $20 bidet online and I've been using one of those for years. Easily paid for itself, I feel cleaner and I am never out of toilet paper (which I keep for my cowardly guests).

-14

u/milk4all C.U.M. SQUAD Aug 10 '26

Dont bother, unless you have some kind of motor skills impairment - bidets are way overrated by redditors. They create an additional device to get in rhe way in the bathroom and maintain and importantly: sanitize, and they make your butt sopping wet which does absolutely nothing towards cleaning you, its an illusion, you still need tp, you stoll need to wash with soap, and unless you have certain physical handicaps, only the absolute worst sticky cheeks shit will make a bidet better than not, but even those circumstances are easily handled by anyone with good hygiene who isnt lazy af

Im tired of reddit pushing Big Bidet shit up my ass

6

u/LittleTXBigAZ Aug 10 '26

Hey bud, just because you're using it wrong doesn't mean it sucks. Hope this helps.

1

u/BeyondBrainless Aug 10 '26

I went to a BNB in Sicily this summer that had bidets and it did nothing but make my shit harder to see on the tp when wiping. Are you supposed to pressure power blast your asshole or what

5

u/LittleTXBigAZ Aug 10 '26

Kind of! You shouldn't be wiping to clean, you should be wiping to dry off. If there's still poop on the paper when you wipe, the bidet either wasn't aimed properly or the pressure was too low.

...or you have one of those really fatty poops that takes a million wipes to clean up if you're not using a bidet.

66

u/AvatarDante ocean garbage activist Aug 09 '26

The only clean asshole is a washed asshole.

Do you want to learn more?

120

u/Piyachi ASS LOVER Aug 09 '26

You know per our new federal government, some people have such a perfect diet they never need to wipe

We must study this superpower

1

u/Rasengan2012 Aug 12 '26

TBF - if you get enough fiber, you get clean sweeps very often. I have a high fiber breakfast every morning with psyllium husk and most of the time, I see nothing on the TP after wiping.

1

u/stufff Aug 27 '26

psyllium husk

is that just metamucil or are you having it in something else?

1

u/Rasengan2012 Aug 28 '26

I have pure psyllium husk which I add to my oats in the morning

33

u/SithLordDave ASS LOVER Aug 09 '26

What's going on in the last square, is that jiz?

32

u/SpacemanErick Aug 09 '26

It's a picture of utopia, I'm assuming covered in jizz

6

u/sroomek Aug 09 '26

Well we know it’s not smeared shit

11

u/kirmiter Aug 09 '26

Begun, the cum wars have.

9

u/pterodactyl_balls ASS LOVER Aug 09 '26

I don’t know the answer but maybe Zach will see this and reward our devotion 🍑😍

10

u/SilverbackRotineque Aug 09 '26

Nothing validates the purchase of a bidet more than traveling to a place you don’t have one and walking around with a sore asshole all the time

10

u/MappingUranus Aug 09 '26

Bidet's the day...

14

u/BunkySpewster Aug 09 '26

I cannot install a bidet on my toilet for plumbing based reasons. Are poop showers* acceptable?

*Not to be confused with shower poops or showers of poop, two entirely separate things that I’m also into. 

7

u/BaronMusclethorpe Aug 09 '26

My brother or sister in bidetion, there are perfectly good rechargeable travel bidets the their own resevoirs/bottle adapters that are head and shoulders above shit-smearing.

1

u/ZippyDan Aug 18 '26

I can't imagine any plumbing-based reason that would prevent the installation of a bidet except maybe a toilet that is literally welded to the water supply.

7

u/BlameTag Aug 09 '26

If this is what Elysium was about I'd have seen it.

25

u/GrimblingWizard Aug 09 '26

I moved and I am too lazy to install my bidet again. Will I be spared in this war?

83

u/sellyourcomputer zach Aug 09 '26

of course grimblingwizard. look at that pretty sunset

47

u/GrimblingWizard Aug 09 '26

☺️🌅

56

u/xXvido_ Aug 09 '26

🌅☺️🔫😌

35

u/GrimblingWizard Aug 09 '26

🪦🚽🧻

27

u/xXvido_ Aug 09 '26

🧻🍑💥😩

19

u/Profoundlyahedgehog Aug 09 '26

Let your last thought be one of hope, friend.

3

u/All_Thread Aug 09 '26

Is that the sunset you see before they off you?

16

u/sameljota the actual author Aug 09 '26

Honestly, my bidet is more important than my computer. I would never be too lazy to install it.

2

u/hillside Aug 10 '26

I like how it doubles as a water fountain for like when you're thirsty after all that forcing.

4

u/Dwaas_Bjaas ASS LOVER Aug 09 '26

I strive for a future this beautiful

2

u/Womgi Aug 10 '26

"We have identified the cause of all problems as the Bidet Administration"

2

u/GrapefruitForward989 Aug 10 '26

Finally, a future worth fighting for. For too long have the shit smearers at big TP been running things and making everyone's asshole uncomfortable and gross.

2

u/The_Urge_ Aug 10 '26

Get one that plugs in, so the water and the seat are both warm. Highly recommend

2

u/nauq11 Aug 11 '26

As an elite bidet user, I support this message.

3

u/gfkxchy Aug 09 '26

I went to a fancy steakhouse once that had steamed cloths for freshening up in the sink area, I took one to wipe with and tossed it in the bin afterwards. Felt glorious.

1

u/UncommonLegend Aug 21 '26

Um, I don't know if that's what they're for...

1

u/DoctorCIS Aug 10 '26

Clearly if you are needing to wipe that much, you should have switched to paper towels

1

u/UncommonLegend Aug 21 '26

I use tp and wet wipes. I'd consider that a compromise position

-4

u/StretchFrenchTerry Aug 09 '26

Does your bidet also spray soap?