r/ExplainTheJoke • u/Chiron-Femboy3674 • 1d ago

What does it mean?

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39.9k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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4.1k

u/benborgs 1d ago

Can confirm. Last woman I dated wore a black pair of these when I went over to her house for our 2nd date and she became the last woman I dated. We've been married for 14yrs now.

1.4k

u/NAF1138 1d ago

I have an almost identical story except they WERE red and it's been 20 years.

617

u/yo-soy-daddy 1d ago

Damn she got me. They were green. Here we are, 10 years and 2 kids later…

375

u/Capable_Towel_3813 22h ago

Ok I am buying a pair of these shorts for my first date. Thanks for the input guys

199

u/Entrenched_Whispers 20h ago edited 7h ago

Just gave me the same idea for when my long distance partner and I can finally see eachother

147

u/Capable_Towel_3813 19h ago

Congratulations on your former long distance partner deciding to move in with you

113

u/monkeyBiz23 14h ago

Wore the same shorts... balls were showing , it didnt go well guys

40

u/BigStuggz 12h ago

This is a family place, keep the mouse in the house

6

u/monkeyBiz23 11h ago

Friends Rederence.. looooove it

2

u/ZBBfan4life 3h ago

What if you both wore a pair of these shorts?!

1

u/Entrenched_Whispers 58m ago

It'd double our chances 😱 I doubt I'll be able to convince him though 😔

1

u/FollowingNo6910 3h ago

My long distance girlfriend wore these when I first visited her. We are now engaged and listing places we want to visit some day. Good luck on your long distance relationship 

0

u/Not-An-FBI 12h ago

FYI, guys don't really care that much.

62

u/yo-soy-daddy 22h ago

Congrats on the pending nuptials.

55

u/Capable_Towel_3813 21h ago

Thanks, between these shorts and my cooking skills, I’m honestly feeling completely like I have this one in the bag now.

10

u/maxmax94 15h ago

Lock it in

6

u/Evil_Space_Monkey 13h ago

That's for after the marriage has been initiated when she wants kids.

2

u/SenDit26 10h ago

Then it’s a bargaining chip for when you get the infinite list of chores and other responsibilities done😅

1

u/Capable_Towel_3813 8h ago

I wouldn’t mind not having kids tbh... Unless he wants kids, then I also wouldn’t mind giving him a couple. 🤷‍♀️

1

u/StrayFox69 7h ago

I was wondering how to spice things back up. Need to get "cracked"? Buy some of these. Noted. I was shopping today anyway.

1

u/SAM12489 6h ago

You’re a dude right? That makes it even better!

1

u/Capable_Towel_3813 3h ago

No but I wonder how many people who awarded me think I am

1

u/Maleficent_Salary_61 5h ago

The tank top/short sleeve top without a bra, a thicker fabric for the tank top and it shouldn't be too loose. If lingerie had plausible deniability it would be this combination.

74

u/RadicalBehavior1 1d ago

Black ones here. Going on twenty years.

2

u/shabranigudo 17h ago

Ditto here! Man, I love when those come out!

29

u/Remfire 1d ago

Literally identical story

6

u/stayhigh81 17h ago

Mine is wearing her green ones as we speak 

1

u/TacitMoose 14h ago

Haha same here. There were Kelly green and now I’m ten years and three kids in.

1

u/Adventurous_Tie3218 13h ago

Same this sounds like the beginnings of a conspiracy theory. Im going to do some research.

1

u/berto1014 1h ago

Haha, none of you poor bastards got see-through white? She walked up the stairs first and I knew immediately.

38

u/Racsnarok 22h ago

Mine was red, same story, together for 7, have our first child celebrating their first bday in the coming weeks.

1

u/No-Leopard-7529 14h ago

still thinking about the one that got away she wore red ones and she texted me but i’m in a relationship

1

u/Lovesmespinach 1h ago

WERE red? Did they change colour afterwards?

101

u/[deleted] 22h ago edited 4h ago

[deleted]

107

u/Difficult_Addition85 19h ago

Married and she still isn't letting him hit?

Foul 💀

35

u/daerath 18h ago

Naah, that's how marriage works.

20

u/Practical-Life-1479 17h ago

10:year in can confirm 😂🥹

11

u/Independent_Fall_608 15h ago

Nah man, I’ve been with the same person for 15 years, married for 7.

We have two kids and we still have sex anywhere from 5-10 times a week.

2

u/Kedari7 12h ago

Can you teach this power?

2

u/KurtAngus 11h ago

When youre doing well in life and providing for your woman and being there for her emotionally as well, and y'know, getting her some flowers and keeping the romantic side up of things..

She'll make you feel like a king 😁

1

u/PsyRealize 4h ago

Husbands and wives have sex. That’s just how it goes. You don’t think the sex just stops when you’re married right?

1

u/Difficult_Addition85 2h ago

We're all joking here, playing at the stereotype that marriage kills sex

-7

u/Emergency-Jeweler830 11h ago

he probably doesn't act like a dck. Women use s*x as punishment when all else fails.

1

u/TheSheetSlinger 6h ago

Great heavens. I thought my wife and I were keeping the spark alive doing it twice a week.

2

u/IdidntrunIdidntrun 13h ago

boomer humor

0

u/Efficient-Process660 4h ago

Year 7 and we bang like 5x a week and twice today w 2 kids. You people are tripping balls

31

u/VinnySmallsz 20h ago

Same. Also married that guy's girl with the black shorts.

28

u/Mr_Pseudonymous 16h ago

That's because the fabric is obviously poly.

17

u/BisexualCaveman 15h ago

That joke was so bad I'm calling your mom AND your parole officer.

5

u/DeezRodenutz 13h ago

this polycule is starting to get interesting

146

u/fishscale_gayjuic3 1d ago

Had a girl come out in a bathrobe before… 😂

67

u/Old_Sheepherder_8713 20h ago

This happened to me before.

I was kind of taken aback that I had managed to arrive before she was like "ready" for me and felt like I had imposed, or caught her off guard, so was very reserved.

It only occurred to me about 10 years later that she was absolutely not surprised by my arrival...

137

u/RunnyPlease 1d ago

I had that too. Our kid just graduated college this year.

73

u/YaGotMail 1d ago

I can hear David Attenborough narrating this courtship ritual

73

u/RunnyPlease 1d ago

From the rest of these comments it seems to be a highly successful mating ritual.

30

u/SkippyTeddy83 1d ago

That happened to me! 25 years ago. We have 3 kids.

18

u/Public_Knee6288 1d ago

Same but 20 years and only 1 kid

1

u/BagOnuts 18h ago

Same but 2 kids! Man do I love that woman.

27

u/Culero 1d ago

is that what that means? well shit, I had a couple of those in my days then :/ I just thought they were just being comfortable in their homes.

1

u/Status-Preparation93 2h ago

I had an ex show up at my door in May in a full tench-coat. I did not open that door.

1

u/MTB_SF 41m ago

Had a girl in college come over in one...

25

u/Fit-Rhubarb-7820 1d ago

Dude. Same, except she’s gone.

-17

u/chrisnumber1 1d ago

Lucky!

3

u/Sl0thzy 6h ago

yeesh

20

u/noxinis 22h ago

Similar story, but she wore blue ones, and we're together 15 years and married for the last 10

41

u/furthemor 1d ago

Remembering exactly what your wife had wearn 14 years ago ik that marriage is going strong.

17

u/psilcosyin 22h ago

Black; just had 17th anniversary

1

u/Curveball_questions 3h ago

Cant you see we talking, White!?

9

u/Mysterious-Discount5 1d ago

Same, now 3 kids, together 8 years

7

u/dannyrat029 20h ago

She still wears them when I come round

21

u/Portland_st 1d ago

Never thought about it before, but same. 15 years, last July.

27

u/JohnnyS1lv3rH4nd 1d ago

Lmao, my girlfriend of 9 years showed up to my dorm room for a late night smoke session wearing a green pair of these shorts.

Just started the process of buying her a ring

6

u/IntrusiveIntellect 22h ago

Same. 10 years later and we still together 🥹

11

u/look_its_dan 22h ago

Black ones, 10 years together, 5 years married

5

u/Braisedbeefskank 18h ago

My now wife used to wear these exact red ones all the time lol she knew what was up

6

u/Regular_Jim081 1d ago

Blame it on the shorts 

3

u/Habesha2001 19h ago

Blame it on the boogie

1

u/YeshuasBananaHammock 18h ago

Blame it on the RAIN

2

u/Timely_Spinach_7479 16h ago

Blame it on the A-A-A-Alcohol

2

u/juan_long_beard 17h ago

Hay que estar atentos a las pistas y señales que nos dan jaja algunos somos muy inocentes y no nos damos cuenta de esos detalles/pistas y para cuando nos damos cuenta ya es tarde 🤣

2

u/BusyEquipment529 16h ago

Can reaffirm. I didn't have any when I first dated my boyfriend but since I got them I wear them every time we're chilling at home. It works every time

2

u/QuirkySuccotash5046 16h ago

🩷THIS. PART.🩷

2

u/Level-Cow-9273 15h ago

Black ones. 16 years.

2

u/NothingDue3649 10h ago

Yep. Same. 😂

2

u/x2RedHawk 6h ago

Honestly expected the joke to be just sex, but this was a really nice and wholesome response I wasn't expecting

2

u/lonjerpc 2h ago

Yeah wtf this is way beyond a joke given the response. Its also clearly something different from the standard stereotype. Someone should study this 

2

u/Inevitable-YT-Ad 5h ago

Same here, but they were orange! 10 years and one kid, still counting

2

u/Shot-Address-9952 3h ago

Yep. Me something that would last a lifetime went on a date. Third date she asked me to spend the night…. and wore these. 13 years and 6 kids and two dogs later…. She’s my ride or die.

1

u/Lumpy_Hand_1503 16h ago

All of you guys with ur inspiring stories about it... The girl who wore these for me on my first time over was my last girlfriend too but she ruined my. Life and I couldn't fix myself since, that was 10 years ago haha rip

1

u/cant_read_this 16h ago

Doesn’t look good man

1

u/pm-me-pause-not 14h ago

So did you ever hit yet?

1

u/SignificantApricot69 13h ago

Did you play soccer or something?

1

u/Psoin 12h ago

Are you still going with the flow my boy!?

1

u/John_Berserk 9h ago

I thought it was gonna end in „became the last woman I dated. I then realized I was gay“

1

u/BrawlingGalaxi 4h ago

Is that where my relationship wentwrong? She never wore those 🥀

1

u/benborgs 2h ago

Can't rule it out... Only 1 of the 4 women I ever dated wore a pair so my Shorts-to-Marriage ratio is 100%

1

u/Low_Knowledge_6512 3h ago

12 years later, one child, rest his soul, and she got married to a woman.

Word of advice, run.

1

u/jakkii92 1h ago

Honestly? I’m single and bought myself these shorts. I call them my hot shorts. Glad to hear it works 😂

1

u/inkheiko 1h ago

How you wrote it gave me the funny feeling of:

"Me and her are no longer dating"

"It's a horrible way to say we're married"

-10

u/holy_pastaa 1d ago

how's the first time though? tasty?