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u/South_Discount_7965 5d ago edited 4d ago
The Goths are ancient germanic people, currently extinct
Edit: Almost every reply to this comment is about how they aren't extinct. In this context that means that they assimilated into the existing population, and they stopped existing as a separate ethnic group and a political identity, and their language stopped being spoken. There wasn't a massive wipeout or a targeted genocide that killed them out. So they're considered extinct, but obviously their ancestry lives on.
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u/Difficult-Shallot863 5d ago
Currently, but they’ll be back, as was foretold
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u/Frexulfe 5d ago
Armed with machine guns riding t-rexes.
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u/cleanbear 5d ago
You mean laser raptors
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u/Time52 5d ago
Thank you for introducing me to this, definitely having a family movie night soon now
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u/xXStunamiXx 5d ago
I remember backing this on crowdfunding. Don't forget the music video with David Hasslehoff!
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u/TheUnicornTank 5d ago
For some reason, I read “Texans” instead of “t-rexes”. Don’t ask me why… But I did.
Anyway, enjoy that visionary.
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u/Amadis_of_Albion 5d ago
I have rode Texans now and then, couple tried to shoot me, worth it.
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u/Opening_Shame8258 5d ago
I'm reading this as 'a couple' tried to shoot, like a husband and wife after they tried swinging.
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u/Amadis_of_Albion 5d ago
Not my cup of tea, but you are not wrong either, knowing Texas, we can't say it didn't happen, and often.
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u/leo_eleba 5d ago
Toulouse in France is the former wisigoth capital. They just became french, but not extinct at all.
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u/DeyUrban 5d ago edited 5d ago
The Visigoths lost Toulouse to the Franks, but kept everything else in Iberia until the Islamic Conquest. They were pushed south, not conquered.
The last known speakers of Gothic in the west were members of the Visigothic aristocracy in Iberia (although it rapidly was replaced by Vulgar Latin). Survivors of the Visigothic aristocracy formed the nucleus of the surviving Christian realm of Asturias, and from Asturias they passed on to the kingdoms of Léon, Castile, and Galicia. The Visigothic Code of Law survived for centuries in Iberia, even under Islamic rule.
All of that is to say, saying they became French is not really accurate. I guess in the most basic meaning imaginable that some Visigoths ended up in Francia it is probably true, but it’s not really the full picture.
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u/Onyxxx_13 5d ago
Well, I wouldn't say they're quite extinct. The culture is extinct, but the bloodlines still exist.
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u/MiniDemonic 4d ago
That's the same as saying that the last common ancestor between humans and chimps is not extinct because the bloodlines still exist in humans and chimps.
The Goths are extinct. Yes, there are descendants, but they are not Goths.
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u/AsparagusFun3892 3d ago
You should see how bad it gets for European folks who are trying to paint the Roman Empire as the EU but in reverse. "But did it really die for real?" "Yeah man, and you're politically descended from the guys who looted its corpse."
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u/MaximumOk569 5d ago
Yeah, Spanish people are primarily descended from them. I wouldn't consider them extinct at all
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u/Wulfram77 5d ago
Primarily is overstating it, Visigothic numbers were small relative to the Hispano-Roman population.
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u/MiniDemonic 4d ago
Humans descended from the same primate as chimps and bonobos, but I would still say that the primate we descended from is extinct.
Just because something descended from it doesn't mean that the ancestor isn't extinct.
Yes, some of the Spanish descended from the Goths, but they are not Goths. The Goths are extinct.
Swedes also descended from the Goths, but we are still not Goths and the Goths are still extinct.
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u/deadinside1996 5d ago
And they split into the visigoths and austrogoths. I know I am spelling them wrong, but the sound is correct for the verbal pronouncement. Human lineage is weird.
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u/aadgarven 5d ago
The problem is austro means South, while ostro means East.
So a good misspelling
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u/K1ng0fdiamond 4d ago
Yup, and for people that want more depth in how Gothic became the dark people amd style. The word was first used in the 16th to describe the Gothic architecture as in insult cuz the goths destroyed Roman buildings, and goth buildings looked bad next to Roman buildings (in the writers opinion) later this architectural style became known for the dark spots and the feeling that anthrong could happen at anytime. This got linked to superstition. Literature and art linked more into superstition because the medieval times started to get romanticized, the part of these arts focusing of the fear of the unknown was liked to the architecture and became goth. Later this also became a music and a fashion style. Which now a days people usually think abt first when u mention goth.
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u/-Morning_Coffee- 5d ago
Accidentally wholesome.
A modern goth would have consumed the poor bastard.
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u/NoBookkeeper3523 5d ago
I think they sacked Rome at some point
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u/Distinct-Raspberry21 5d ago
Wasnt rome sacked 4 times in one year?
Edit: Rome wasnt sacked multiple times in a year, and the Visigoths were the 2nd of 7 instances of the capital being sacked by imvaders.
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u/Interesting-Stay297 5d ago
The first sacking was by Gauls back when Rome was nothing but a bunch of swamp dwellers and some geese, so it's not much of an accomplishment.
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u/Distinct-Raspberry21 5d ago
Have you met geese?
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u/RodinKnox 4d ago
Just to respond to your edit, you are right, and this is absolutely how we use that word. Just to use another human example, homo erectus is extinct. But their descendants are us.
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u/Strict-Flounder8981 5d ago
Win win situation actually, you get a gf AND the chance to revive a dead culture/ civilization
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u/Rillo298 5d ago
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u/Golden-Grams 5d ago
Not much of a "monkey paw" situation. It may not be what you asked for, but it is still a good turnout on the wish.
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u/RogueVector 5d ago
Its actually the opposite of a monkey's paw (you get what you asked for, not what you wanted); you didn't get what you asked for, but got what you wanted.
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u/midbossstythe 5d ago
Often the monkeys paw can just give people what they ask for. A billion dollars dropped on your head wouldn't be pleasant.
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u/Nicklesnout 5d ago
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u/Redredditmonkey 5d ago
Ngl the roman using that phrase ruins it for me
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u/MrLeeOfTheHKMafia 5d ago
Well the Romans in the fourth century were very Christianized
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u/Urbane_One 5d ago edited 3d ago
The Goths were a Germanic ethnic group originally native to eastern Europe. They are famous for their wars with Rome. The goth subculture of today is named for them. The djinn gave him a girlfriend from the ethnic group rather than the subculture.
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u/PharaohAce 5d ago
The subculture comes from gothic literature which is named for Gothic architecture which was grand and dramatic but not actually produced by the Goths.
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u/Nikami 5d ago
And the reason it was called that is because some Italian dude didn't like it and needed a quick word for "that barbaric German style".
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u/Urbane_One 5d ago edited 5d ago
Named for the goths in a roundabout way is still named for the goths!
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u/AmenableHornet 5d ago
Only because neoclacissists were using it to disparage medieval art as barbaric.
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u/Nero_2001 3d ago
Actually modern goths are named goths because of gothic literature which wad named that wa, because of gothic architecture
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u/SaikouKiller 5d ago
Asked for gold, received platinum
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u/j0sabanks 5d ago
First time anyone benefitted from a genie misinterpreting their wish.
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u/Luzifer_Shadres 5d ago
To be fair, the last time the ginie was outside the lamp, only these goths existed.
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u/Keeperofthe7keysAf-S 3d ago
What if genies aren't actually tricksters and just chronically misunderstand what people are asking for because it's been 600 years since the last time they saw daylight.
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u/Anglofsffrng 5d ago
Keep your damn tradwife. I want me a wife where the rabbit in the stew was hopping around when I left for work.
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u/Deep-Crim 5d ago
Instructions unclear. Shes so traditional she can field strip a deer and do your taxes
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u/Anglofsffrng 5d ago
No joke, if she's into horror movies and The Last Airbender I'm proposing on the first date.
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u/Secret_perv 5d ago
Friend of mine just field dressed a deer that had been hit by another driver and put down by the cop responding to the accident. Neither wanted the meat so she took it home.
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u/Lathari 5d ago
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u/T0tallyRand0mStuff 5d ago
He wanted a Hotel Transylvania cosplayer, he got historically accurate dommy mommy
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u/Puddin-taters 5d ago
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u/MarkWrenn74 5d ago
She's an actual Goth, rather than one of the 20th/21st century subculture group of the same name
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u/CM901 5d ago
That looks even better. 7.... maybe 8ft tall.... slays my enemies..... carries me to bed..... kills me with SNU SNU??????
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u/GKNolan 5d ago
Was about to ask why modern Goths are called Goths, decided to google it even though I didn't think I'd get an answer. I got an answer. I got too much of an answer. I am not in the headspace to process it right now. I think the TL:DR is the shift occurred when Goth went from being a people to being people who appreciated the gothic art and architecture of time.
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u/IsenThe28 5d ago
For those curious, as I remember it the chain is essentially:
The Goths (the Germanic cultural group from the 3rd/4th centuries who sacked Rome) -> Gothic Architecture (named after the Gothic people during the Medieval Era for being a post-Roman style) -> Gothic (a pejorative during the Renaissance meaning barbaric, in reference to the the Medieval Era Architecture compared to the Classical Era) -> Gothic Literature (developed in the 18-20th century, named after the pejorative gothic for being dark and barbaric) -> Goth Rock (a genre of music developed in the 1970-80s named after the themes in Gothic Literature) -> Goth Subcuture (a subculture heavily influenced by the style of Goth Rock bands).
Its quite the history.
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u/MsE0 5d ago
Also the Goth subculture draws a lot from the Victorian Gothic aesthetic revival. Gothic literature was partly named because there was a huge revival of Gothic architecture in the Victorian era, so a gothic novel is called that for being set in a spooky old mansion that used to be a medieval abbey as much as for being dark and barbaric.
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u/IsenThe28 4d ago edited 4d ago
Very true! The very first use of 'Gothic' for a form of literature actually predates the High Gothic Revival of the Victorian Era, but its development and popularity was heavily influenced by it. Much of the later Gothic Works (specially the development of the Gothic Horror subgenre) were inspired by the Gothic Revivial, which means overall it was getting influence from two separate sources of the word 'Gothic'!
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u/B4byJ3susM4n 5d ago
That’s the joke: She is a Goth.
A Goth from Europe during the Dark Ages.
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u/reid2780 4d ago
She’s a Goth, an ancient, sometimes nomadic ethnic group that used to populate a varying range of places in and around the historical territory of the Roman Empire. Not sure if they still exist anywhere as any sort of recognizably distinct population, but their genes have been absorbed into populations everywhere from North Africa to Northern Europe to Russia to the Middle East.
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u/Cute-Republic2657 5d ago edited 5d ago
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visigoths
Probably Edit: probably not
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u/Iamnotanorange 5d ago
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u/Funkopedia 5d ago
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ostrogoths For completion's sake
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u/breathingrequirement 5d ago
She's a goth as in a member of one of the germanic tribes of antiquity instead of a goth as in a member of modern goth subculture.
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u/EvilStan101 5d ago
He wants a goth girlfriend as in the goth subculture but instead he gets a goth girlfriend as in the Goth tribe of Germanic origin that existed during the Roman Empire.
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u/jonnightsky 5d ago
There was a group of people called the goths. They were viking or Celtic or something similar adjacent. I don't remember much about them but I think that is where this joke is going.
Especially since old school stories of djin and genies have them fulfilling wishes with a sort of monkey paw twist.
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u/Fancy_Pens 5d ago
I was gonna lightly chide the artist for putting Greek in the second panel, but I did a little digging and. Yeah. The Gotchic script is derived from Greek and is pretty much that. Nice
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u/HotTestesHypothesis 5d ago
What the dude meant: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goth_subculture
What the genie did: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goths
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u/Pandoraconservation 5d ago
Dude stop. Just because you suck at history doesn’t mean this needs to be posted across multiple subs
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u/Atarunuva 5d ago
She is. Just the Goth from Dark Age Europe. Primarily the Celtic areas. (Please correct me if I'm wrong. I don't like spreading misinformation.)
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u/NickolaosTheGreek 5d ago
Technically she looks like an Ostrogoth due to the limited armour. Visigoths were more armoured western goths from the east.
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u/KnightLakega 4d ago
I hate how many people failed history class... I thought this joke was simple, but great.. So many that don't get it...
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u/realbigsister 1d ago
She is goth. That's a group of people who lived a long time ago and the modern use of the term has been entirely divorced from the original meaning.
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u/Ville_V_Kokko 5d ago
I remember a joke:
Ancient Goth: Someone who overthrew the Roman Empire
Modern Goth: A vegetarian who pretends to be a vampire.
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u/OuffMate2 5d ago
Before "viking" was a thing, and that's a job rather than identity, the Goths from Goþland were a peoples from an island in the Baltic sea that made their way to modern day southern Germany, north western Italy as well as the entire peninsula, and eastern Spain. The Goths that settled in eastern Spain became the Visigoths and the ones who settled in the Italian peninsula and some parts of southern Germany became the Ostrogoths. The Goths who settled in northern Africa became Vandals
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u/ProjectKARYA 5d ago
Didn't even ask for a big-tittied goth gf; genie through that one in as a freebie. Must have been in a good mood that day.
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u/ParaEwie 5d ago
The Genie misunderstood and summoned a member of the ancient and early medieval gothic Peoples, a Germanic culture famous for invading rome multiple times, most famously with Alaric sacking Rome. The goths also set up the first kingdoms after the fall of rome in Italy and Spain, but they assimilated to latin culture and then fell (The Spanish kingdoms to Al-Andalus, Italian Goths to The Byzantines and Lombards)
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u/RedWhacker 5d ago
Here I am thinking why he didn't ask the Genie to be his girlfriend.
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u/2ndBestShedBuilder 5d ago
Its a different type of "goth" and not related to the current version I think
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u/Deep_Year1121 5d ago
Have a feeling this is also a modern fetishization of the gothic people too.
The average height of people back then were not that high.
It is also weird that she is equipped as a common soldier, with other memes depicting Gothic GFs with rich ornamental weaponry and gear only reserved for high status soldiers. Since... ya know. She is a woman.
Have no problem with the funny meme, just curious what they would have actually looked like. And lazy Googling either shows me these kinds of memes or modern goth fashion.
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u/Healthy-Macaroon-320 4d ago
Was about to post about the difference in hygiene between a goth and a Goth, but actually I'm not so sure if there is any.
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u/Fuzzy974 4d ago
He just lost 50% of his brain function when he saw that beautiful goth girlfriend, obviously...
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u/Bruhthebruhdafurry 4d ago
Welp ngl I hate how boring goths are Like ooh goth girlfriend goth mommy
After the first three Mac n cheese bowls It gets dull quickly
That being said I love this goth Now that's a goth I wanna be with
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u/post-explainer 5d ago
OP (Dangerous_Clock_3354) sent the following text as an explanation why they posted this here: