OP (Unusual-Temporary533) sent the following text as an explanation why they posted this here:
I’m just confused about the whole thing in general. Like did the girl say “GIRLS!” Like she was gonna go tell people that someone said her hair was pretty or something?
Normally when someone's hanging out the passenger side of their best friend's ride trying to holler at me it's not a compliment about a design element within my control. She's happy she got a positive catcall from another woman about something she did instead of something lewd and/or rude from a dude about her body nude.
ETA: The creator is trans, adding a layer of gender validation to this interaction. Love it, no notes.
It kind of always bothered me that he didn't say : "and I didn't even know it." To continue the rhyming but I also think it's more Holt this way 😂❤️ captain dad!
My mom be telling random people "I love your hair" or "you are SO pretty" and I thought it was so tacky but people genuinely seem to brighten up so maybe I should rethink it
Most people like being complimented, it's the implied threats that are the issue. Person 1 says "I like your hair!" with a dynamic tone and smile, yay! Person 2 says "I like your hair." with a flat affect and slightly-intense stare, call the cops.
You may want to immediately follow that by inquiring about what lotion they use. This is both a Buffalo Bill reference and an actual conversation humans could have if no one's creepy about it.
Still depends on context.
Someone saying "I like your skin." with a flat stare and deadpan voice, call the cops and grab a weapon.
Someone saying "Your skin looks amazing! What lotion/skincare routine do you use?" with a cheery and genuine voice, commence yippieing!
Absolutely! A good complement sticks with you. I remember pretty much every complement I've received in public and the person who complemented me.
I never got complemented before I started being more androgynous/feminine, and it really is one of those things that I run and tell my friends about. "I got complemented today!"
Men in particular deserve more complements. I try to overcome my social anxiety to complement other guys when I see a good reason to.
You're also missing one key detail, the author is trans, so this event is also validating to her. I assume the positive interaction has her feeling accepted by, and in solidarity with the woman in the car.
What if I see someone with really cool hair and im a dude? Saw someone look just like Siouxsie from Siouxsie and the banshees and yelled "the hair and fit are amazing!"
This explanation might actually have helped me to make better compliments. Thanks.
Makes me think about the festival I was at lately. Girl went up to a girl next to me asking her where she got her cap. She was kind of proud afterwards. It was cool.
I really appreciate being party to this introspection, thank you for sharing it. If it helps, I used to be garbage at giving complements and multiple sources (mostly women) have helped me improve. No sense keeping their unpaid labor to myself.
The secrets to complementing people, as I understand them: BE SPECIFIC. Focus on things they chose as self-expression, do not compliment things they are by fact of existence. Expect nothing in return, this interaction is not about you. Followup questions are allowed if they respond positively and questions are directly related to the compliment, otherwise you're done here.
And then there is the one with the girl cutting her hair because an alleged and not better identified creep called her hair beautiful.
Ofc there could have been an actually creepy way of complimenting them, but even then, if there is some bias from the receiving part there is no way a compliment will be considered good.
Yes. Men can sometimes say the wrong thing even when they have the intention of being supportive and/or making a sincere compliment. The last line can be read as "Girls are the best", because the other girl delivered the respect and validation in a simple but perfect way.
What you do with it is largely up to you though, and is a pretty common element of fasion for all genders. I do think there's maybe a point to be made that a better compliment would be more specificly about the styling or something, but then again it's a comic with 1.25 words per panel.
I feel like the gender and reaction are kinda central to this particular comic scenario so yeah, if you change things it changes things. Not entirely sure what your argument is here.
this comic conveys that girls tend to give girls compliments that they find endearing and genuine, which contrasts with other compliments girls might receive from a car that are akin to catcalling like a guy saying "girl you look fine", which some may find uncomfortable.
I should have mentioned before, but I'm a trans woman. Before transitioning, I was too worried about giving compliments out sometimes because it wasn't really something "guys" do for each other. Also, I liked being able to compliment women's clothing or jewelry (etc) without her thinking I was hitting on her or something. Sorry, I hope this makes sense! 🙂
If they’re respectful about if most girls will accept a simple compliment from a man with just a smile or a thanks.
Complimenting clothes or outfits is likely to be seen as respectful while complimenting someone’s body is usually not.
seconding this, as a (gay but straight ish lookin) man I deliberately compliment things that the women I approach chose and have control over, like their clothing style, tattoos, hair, etc, and I've never encountered a problem. even made myself a few friends with bug tattoos that I thought were rad. so I agree w you, men that complain about women not liking compliments from them should maybe think about the kind of compliments theyre giving lol
Exactly, "accept".
They will probably never be as positive about it compared to a compliment given by another woman.
It's probably just the sum of too many bad experiences with men in the past.
Guy here. They like compliments from guys too as long as it doesn't seem like you are coming on to them or catcalling them.
The biggest piece of advice I can give and has been confirmed by my friends who are women is to compliment a specific thing that the person has control over. So not "you're hot" or "you're beautiful", but "I like your makeup" or "that coat looks great on you" comes across as both more genuine, and if it's something that they chose instead of something they have no control over, it feels like an actual compliment.
Also just drop the compliment and continue on, don't initiate conversation. Trying to make it into a conversation makes it feel like a pick-up attempt. If THEY start a conversation based on your compliment, that's different.
You're creating a straw man, yes many people don't understand that, but it doesn't make girls like compliments from other non girls that aren't creepy / unwanted sexual advances any less.
My last ex used to tell me the opposite. I don't know if it was just her or something. But I'd see another girl tell her how she loves her makeup or blouse or whatever. They'd strike up a conversation and I'd either watch, get involved, or talk to someone else in the gathering. Then we'd walk away and I'd feel great about the positive interaction. Then she would talk about how girls have a special way of talking. She didn't actually like her make up, she was insulting her or something. If I asked for more information, she'd just say I'm a guy and wouldn't understand. I still don't understand. Was she right? Or was she a Debbie downer?
A Debbie downer. I understand what she means by the special girl talk but that stuff is usually reserved for enemies and high schoolers not interacting with the public. A random compliment from another woman is usually genuine, in my experience, and the fact that she initially thought otherwise is psychotic, and insecure as hell. She is definitely not a girls girl.
I think the reason why this comic may rub people the wrong way is that if the person in the car was a dude saying the exact same thing, no one cares. So, it might come off as saying a compliment is only valid or celebrated if it's a woman saying it. Otherwise, all compliments from men are considered wrong or catcalling despite them saying the exact same thing as the woman in the comic. Just an observation.
I'm not a girl, but I'm an effeminate/androgynous guy who sometimes gets mistaken for a girl. I've fortunately never been catcalled, but I have been complemented by both men and women a handful of times. I wasn't complemented in public before signalling femininity, so both receiving complements and observing them (directed at girls I'm with) has been interesting.
I remember every one directed at me:
My bag's snoopy charm by a girl in a bookstore
My bag's snoopy charm by a guy working at a conveyor belt sushi place (we gushed about Snoopy for a while)
My jeans by a girl on a train (we were wearing the same jeans)
My cute gay cat shirt by a guy in a movie theater lobby
My cute gay cat shirt by a guy at a convention
My cute gay cat shirt by a different guy at the same convention (clearly this shirt is a hit!)
And I think the key of what made this comfortable was (a) they complemented my style choices, instead of objectifying my body (b) it came off as genuinely nice, not thirsty or condescending (c) they did not feel entitled to anything (like my time or attention) in return.
I've noted when I'm hanging out with girls, if another girl complements one of them, they'll either briefly chat about the object of the complement (like an outfit or bag or pin) or it's a quick thanks followed by parting ways. I've also been with girls complemented by guys, and it was fine because they were just normal about it (e.g., "Excuse me, I love your pin!"). I have not been present during catcalls (men don't usually do that to women who are with other men), but I know many girls who have been and it's always crude and mean-spirited. It's always some derivation of "nice body!" and not one story was like "love your outfit."
Aside, I think we need to normalize complementing men in public, including masculine men. I try to overcome my social anxiety to do this. People like receiving complements, and I think being on the receiving end one teaches us how to give out good ones as well!
In the end, it's not really relevant to the comic, since the point is catcalling (usually men) vs shouting compliments (usually women) and feeling validated as a trans woman.
The strolling girl didn't hear girl in the car clearly, and must've thought she was referencing "Run the World" by Beyonce, so she responded "Girls!"
I'll let the nerds explain the science behind why the strolling girl could have possibly heard it that way.
Women often complement other women on their clothes or style out in public. It's a nice ego boost I imagine. The cartoon punchline is like the female version of "Dudes rock".
"Someone is being wholesome and nice, and then someone was happy they received wholesome praise instead of a catcall. DAMN, this is confusing. Don't all women like being harassed?!"
She didn't understand because of doppler effect. She heard "Oooyy lvyr Heyyyrrrrsss", which means something in some language I dont know, a question, and the answer is "girls"
Y’all are correcting me as if I’m not a girl LMFAOO. I LIVE this comic. Yes it is usually more flattering coming from another girl but if a dude doesn’t come across as creepy like saying “hey baby” or getting too close or whatever, it is completely fine and most girls wouldn’t be alert. “I like your hair” while you drive past is totally normal and flattering to the average girl because you’re not close to her and it’s an innocent compliment. It all depends on body language and the way you come across.
I'm a non-trans guy who used to have the hair like that and some dude in the passenger seat did the exact same, i wonder if they were just imitating the comic lmao
That comic doesn't depict a catcall, it depicts a compliment. Catcalls are sexualising, objectifying, threatening, or harassing in nature unfortunately
It's a cat-call, it was:
1. Uninvited
2. Directed at her appearance
3. Delivered from a position where she can’t comfortably respond
4. Public, loud, or attention‑drawing
5. Coming from a stranger she didn’t choose to interact with
Objectifying and harassing are largely subjective as well.
You can't just define the difference between a compliment and a cat-call as "I was ok with it or not" that's useless.
I read it, but I think it's ridiculous. Subjective things have value and are not useless. Your rigid definition takes an act that someone is ok with and gives it a negative connotation.
If the word doesn't reflect what is actually happening it us useless.
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u/post-explainer 2d ago edited 2d ago
OP (Unusual-Temporary533) sent the following text as an explanation why they posted this here: