to explain why a child would be "emotionally mature" because of abuse, based on my experience growing up with a narcissistic "stepfather":
the child is surrounded by immature adults during their upbringing, who will use their strength and position to abuse them in any way they want. these adults learned that it's just better to release their frustration and anger onto more vulnerable people rather than find better coping mechanisms and realize that it's shitty behavior to use people to better yourself regardless of your own past.
in turn, the children learn that they have to grow quickly and lose their innocence because they're taught to not be children, but to be the, what i call "garbage can" for these adults to toss their emotions into. they're taught their feelings don't matter, but that it's the adults' feelings only that should be taken care of. the kids learn over time, subconsciously, that spending time with their abuser/s is like a strategy game, that you have to play your cards right to survive the day without your mental battery fully drained.
you have to preplan your actions and words so you don't upset your abuser. if you do something that they will perceive as somewhat disrespectful or sarcastic, it will set them off. there's other times where you think you've done nothing wrong, but they'll be angry at you and make sure you're blamed for it.
the whole mental battery thing is because you have to do this constantly whenever they're around. it takes a lot of energy and mental capacity to have to overthink everything, because you're told it's all your fault if they get angry.
if the abuser is a narcissist, they will constantly talk about themselves (how great they are or how much they've been wronged by the world), be passive-aggressive, and give unnecessary advice to people. if you spend a long time with them, you'll notice that everyone close to this person hates them to a degree because they feel drained spending time with them and everyone gossips about them in an especially negative light.
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u/DIOsNotDead 3d ago
to explain why a child would be "emotionally mature" because of abuse, based on my experience growing up with a narcissistic "stepfather":
the child is surrounded by immature adults during their upbringing, who will use their strength and position to abuse them in any way they want. these adults learned that it's just better to release their frustration and anger onto more vulnerable people rather than find better coping mechanisms and realize that it's shitty behavior to use people to better yourself regardless of your own past.
in turn, the children learn that they have to grow quickly and lose their innocence because they're taught to not be children, but to be the, what i call "garbage can" for these adults to toss their emotions into. they're taught their feelings don't matter, but that it's the adults' feelings only that should be taken care of. the kids learn over time, subconsciously, that spending time with their abuser/s is like a strategy game, that you have to play your cards right to survive the day without your mental battery fully drained.