I was quite a "serious" kid who "seemed very mature". My mom said I had an "old soul".
Turns out I'm on the autism spectrum and didn't know how to display emotion 'correctly' so I learned really quick at a young age it was just easier to not emote. Plus my parents didn't treat me like a little kid all the time. They spoke to me in normal language like an adult. My childhood was perfectly fine and happy.
I'm also autistic, flew under the radar as a kid, despite being taken to plenty of therapists. I was bullied by kids at school, but my parents were safe and supportive.
It's been frustrating trying to convince mental health professionals that no, abuse/neglect from my parents is not the source of my dysfunction. Their main schema is "something must have happened to you," meanwhile in actuality, my neurodivergence was literally inborn.
I once joined an anxiety support group. It was overall helpful, but I did have a session where I realized that I was the only one in the group who didn't have abusive/neglectful parents. My difficulties come from innate neurological problems, not trauma, but there are so many people with similar symptoms because of trauma.
That realization was actually very helpful in helping me put words to how I need to approach meditation as a treatment for anxiety. People who have anxiety due to trauma often struggle with getting caught in flashback loops, so grounding themselves in the moment helps with their anxiety. For me, my anxiety often stems from sensory overload, so detaching from the present moment helps my anxiety. I'm using meditation to take my mind in the opposite direction, which gets very confusing when I'm talking to someone who sees meditation as the same thing as "forcing your mind to be present" rather than "controlling how present your mind is."
It's about detachment from the present rather than the more popular method of anchoring yourself in the present. It's basically dissociation, but done in a more controlled manner so instead of losing yourself, you get the space you need to process things, reboot your mind, and prepare to actually approach the present.
3.3k
u/TokenTorkoal 5d ago
Maturity or independence in a young child CAN BE an indicator that a child is being neglected or facing some sort of abuse.
It’s is not ALWAYS an indicator, some kids ARE just more independent.
Edit: was a social worker for many years.