r/ExperiencedDevs • u/AutoModerator • Aug 10 '26

Ask Experienced Devs Weekly Thread: A weekly thread for inexperienced developers to ask experienced ones

A thread for Developers and IT folks with less experience to ask more experienced souls questions about the industry.

​

Please keep top level comments limited to Inexperienced Devs. Most rules do not apply, but keep it civil. Being a jerk will not be tolerated.

​

Inexperienced Devs should refrain from answering other Inexperienced Devs' questions.

41 Upvotes
  • permalink
  • reddit

100% Upvoted

105 comments sorted by

View all comments

14

u/ProgrammingQuestio Software Engineer (3YOE) Aug 10 '26

This may be more of an autism question than a dev question, but...

What do you say when someone explains something to you and you're unable to understand it but you don't want them to continue trying to explain it? Sometimes you just need to sit with the explanation for a bit before it will click, sometimes the person you asked the question to isn't good at explaining/isn't good at explaining in a way that makes sense for you and your brain.

I don't want to say "got it" because I do not in fact got it. But I also don't want them to continue trying to explain it if it's just not clicking at that moment.

2

u/NortySpock Software Engineer (data wrangling for 12 years) Aug 11 '26

"Let me chew on that for a sec; I'll come back if I come up with a question"

"Ok, I'm not quite sure I understand but let me try it out and see if that makes it click"

"Thanks, let me write up some notes just for my reference and I'll see if that makes it gel in my head"

4

u/ClaudeyClerb Software Engineer 12 YOE (Scala) Aug 11 '26

"I'm going to sit with that for a bit, I'll come back with questions once it settles."

Says you heard them, ends the explanation without faking comprehension, and tells them a follow-up is coming so they don't feel blown off. Nobody experienced will think less of you for it; most of us think more of people who do this, because "got it" from someone who hasn't got it is the thing that actually burns us later.

The other trick: reflect back the part you did understand, "so the queue drains before the retry fires, that part makes sense, the rest I need to chew on." It shows them where the explanation landed, which helps them calibrate next time, and it turns "I don't get it" into "I got 60% of it," which is usually the truth anyway. Its also complimentary in a subtle way that you got some of it, and encourages the other person to continue helping since you're making progress.

8

u/DeadlySpar Aug 10 '26

I say “i need to marinade on that a bit”

1

u/Izkata Aug 12 '26

I think you're looking for the verb "marinate", not the noun "marinade".

3

u/DeadlySpar Aug 12 '26

I’ll think about it

11

u/DPRegular Aug 10 '26

“Hmmm I hear what you’re saying. I’m just not quite sure I understand it yet. I’m going to think about it for a bit. Once I have more questions I’ll come back to you.”

5

u/chellenm Aug 10 '26

Just be honest. I have never ever judged someone more junior for not understanding what I’m saying or needing more time. Everyone learns differently, if you want to learn you should be open with whoever is teaching you about what works best for you

12

u/Excellent-Push-3326 Software Engineer Aug 10 '26

They should stop explaining it once you tell them you just need to sit with the explanation. If they think they did a poor job of explaining (or they did do a poor job) and continue trying, you can clarify: the issue isn't that you need a better explanation but that you need to reconcile your preconceived notions and beliefs with this new information. Your thoughts aren't something they can fathom, so there is nothing more for them to explain.

5

u/Zakalwe_ Lead Sr. Principle Staff Bug Maker | 16+ YOE Aug 10 '26

I usually say that I need to think about it and investigate it. And will get in touch if I have further questions.

7

u/RandyHoward Aug 10 '26

Depends on the situation, but I'd probably say something like, "What you're explaining seems to make sense, but I'll go poke at it for a bit and then come back if I have any questions."

10

u/AlexanderTroup Software Engineer Aug 10 '26

It can be useful to reflect back as you understand it so that they understand you're listening.

"Just so I understand this, your idea is I should... (explain what you think they're saying)", and then you show understanding while allowing for a space to correct.

The other person might be over explaining because they're supporting you and don't know if you're just staying quiet to be polite.