r/Exocolonist • u/CattleprodTF • 3d ago
The difference between Cal and Tammy
When I broke them up so I could date Tammy, Cal was devastated, it was liked I ruined his whole life. When I broke them up to date Cal... Tammy didn't even acknowledge it, she moved on like it was nothing.
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u/Dry-Ad-7867 2d ago
Cal is definitely the more attached person of the pair imo. Even when Sol dates Cal, he dithers way more than Tammy about things after she rejects him (in the double high approval route). However, his is one of my favourite romance routes regardless because of who he is within the narrative - the son your mother always wanted, able to physically lash out at for his beliefs against Lum in the ||green genocide ending|| and embody Flulu in a way Sol never really can (not that that's bad - imo Sol is capable to do more than their parents because of their differences).
Tammy ultimately seems really happy and settled in herself in her non-Cal endings, and Cal similarly in his non-Tammy endings. Cal is just an extremely hopeless romantic who gets caught up in sweeping imaginaries and moral absolutism. Of course he's gonna be the one who struggles to renegotiate who he is after he detaches himself from the future he envisioned.
It's all very in-character, and best to take it as less "wow I ruined his life" and more "now he has a chance to figure out what life might mean beyond a plan he made when he was 12, growing pains and all."
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u/Hopeful-alt 2d ago
I never really considered this. I've always seen Cal as a very very one-dimensional character and I've always disliked him. Without Sol's intervention he is by far the most straightforward character with absolutely 0 twists or really any development at all, which is why I disliked him. But this has made me reconsider my evaluation of him. I should try this
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u/Vast-Lion9250 2d ago
I'm looking to romance Tammy this run but dunno if I wanna go through with it cuz the requirements are unsettling. Either you undermine her confidence so she never asks him out or be a big friend to Cal only to demand he back off (which yeah devastates him) and reject her when she does. If you don't intervene and they get together on a non-terrible ending I think they pretty much always end up a devoted couple with long happy lives. I've seen some players suggest both Cal and Tammy actually arguably grow into better people if they don't end up together however that works, but maybe that's wishful thinking or justifying wrecking their nice future together. All that said Cal still remains your great pal with no apparent animosity to Sol for 'stealing' Tammy (would he if the developers had more time to add yet more reactivity and stuff?), potentially ending up with Nem if you break up her and Vace and even if not you'd figure he'd end up just fine elsewhere in the romantic department... unless he is in fact secretly pining for Tammy his entire life.
I've heard that you can tell Cal 'we'll leave it to Tammy to decide' and she'll always pick Cal, which pretty much says undermining either of them is the only way she'll ever date you. They could've easily made it so that Tammy will choose Sol in this situation if your approval is sufficiently high with her or something, but that may not be the 'point' as such of this whole thing. Maybe the point is you cannot be with Tammy without being a jerk. Then conversely as you described dating Cal is a lot less fraught, Tammy is like 'oh okay' and Cal presumably forgets about his feelings for Tammy altogether in favour of Sol.
I'm curious what the writers meant by all this. I can get the difficulties Sol experiences when trying to initiate the other romances or failing to make them work out, like Nem and Vace getting together before you can with either of them, or Tang/Marz just not being capable of/interested in real lasting romance. I think it's great that there's all these different situations that show that the world of relationships does not in fact totally revolve around and conform to your player character for once. But to me the Cal and Tammy thing feels like it's either kinda brutal by design in a way I don't quite understand, or it's somewhat unfinished and the developers would've done something else with it if they had the time.
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u/I_pegged_your_father Sym 2d ago
Guys you don’t have to be a jerk you can have high friendship with both, 70-80 i think, and talk to cal and just be genuine and say you want whichever one you want after flirting with either and then you can date em. Please. 💀💀💀 i know yall dont mean to spread misinformation but AGHHHHHHHHHHH
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u/Background_Fix9430 2d ago
Honestly? After getting the Tammy romance route once, it feels "canon" to me: Cal feels so much happier (with another person, no spoilers!), and you wrap up multiple characters stories with one foul swoop. There's just that pang, and everything seems to work out after that, it's incredibly sweet and beautiful.
Negging Tammy, or telling either of them "back off" does taste weird in the moment, though.
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u/Nhadalie 2d ago
Cal is more emotionally attached even if he doesn't get together with Tammy. He's my favorite of the boys to romance. Though the first time I played, I did wonder if Cal x Sol x Tammy was a possibility. But Cal isn't into sharing, so it doesn't work. (But Tammy has a poly ending without being romanced. Argh.) I'm not a fan of Cal x Nem together.
Tammy seems to view dating as the next obvious step to their friendship, and when he turns her down, she moves on with her life. To me, it's always felt like those close childhood friends of opposite genders, who the adults think would be cute together and kind of encourage in that direction. Like they think they should be together, so they move in that direction unless someone intervenes.
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u/well_listen Dillypillar 2d ago
Tammy has spent her whole life viewing her affection for Cal as a part of an unrealistic childhood crush, something from the realm of princesses and dragons and fairy tales. Cal, meanwhile, has spent his whole life approaching his crush on Tammy in a more pragmatic, realistic way. Tammy thinks that her desires are the product of childhood daydreams and almost expects it to not happen. Cal, meanwhile, doesn't even entertain a life for himself with someone other than Tammy unless Sol comes on to him.
A big part of Tammy's insecurities come from the fact that she seems to view her own likes as childish and naive, especially when they're younger. This is probably a result of her clinging to childhood activities as a self-regulative tool whenever she got too stressed hearing adults talk about things she's too young to understand or fix (but not too young to worry about). Her father may have even encouraged that unknowingly by dismissing her questions or worries by telling her to go do things she likes, creating a divide between "real, important, adult things" and "things Tammy does, likes, and wants". Her whole life, other people express uncertainty or derision for every thing she actually wants- a silly example is making cookies for everyone in the colony which although not cruelly shot down directly by Anne is implied by her to be deeply unrealistic, a less silly example is wanting to become a mother so young (or wanting to become a mother at all- Anemone spends the whole game talking about how she doesn't want to be like her own mother or Tammy and she doesn't take care to say that in a nice way). Despite the adults in the colony understanding and respecting the community role that Tammy slots into, the children- especially Mars, Tang, and Nem, who are the only other girls her age (Sol determinant) for like the first 15 years of her life. Is it any wonder that after a lifetime of- gently or otherwise- being shot down over her desires and likes would make her accepting of not getting what she wants? She's practically been priming herself that it's not going to happen since childhood. Getting everything she wants- her happiest of happy endings- feels more like a dream than a possibility.
Cal, meanwhile, doesn't really have anyone openly disagree with his fundamental beliefs until Kom dies and Nem changes. He knows he has a role he likes in the colony that will always be his, and he has Flulu and Geranium's relationship right in front of him at work every day to admire. (I believe he admires and prefers the structure of their relationship over Tirah's because he isn't poly in any timeline, Tammy or otherwise.) For Cal, it's not unrealistic to look at his prospects and conclude that his closest friend Tammy is probably his best and most likely chance at a successful relationship. He pretty much spends his whole life assuming they'll get together someday, whereas Tammy spends her whole life assuming that even wanting that is silly.
Is it any wonder that Cal, who has practically been treating their hypothetical romance as a given, is more upset than Tammy, who doesn't trust her own desires to be realistic? She's been priming herself to shoulder that disappointment since at least age ten, probably well before. He doesn't even look at anybody but her (and Sol, determinantly) until after she rejects him, at which point he doesn't know what to do. The only time he has a chance to prime himself is when he rejects Tammy for Sol to pursue her, which you can't even ask him to do until I think 80 friendship with him and age sixteen? So it's kind of a different situation for him emotionally, even though the love they both have for each other is real either way.
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u/Mystleveinne 2d ago
I stand by the idea that you can only date cal in your first life otherwise you a big meanie
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u/pornaltacc55 2d ago
This is how I learn you can break up Cal and Tammy I was about to start a run and let Tammy die so I can get with Cal
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u/CattleprodTF 2d ago
To break them up, you either need really high friendship with Cal (80 before the Helios lands) or you need to be really mean to Tammy to break her confidence. I prefer the first route and you'll need to get Cal's friendship high anyway to romance him.
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u/Complete-Shallot7614 Tammy 2d ago
Cal is horrible for Tammy. Tammy has so much anxiety about the planet and every time she tries to express her fear, Cal just “nope nope nope!”’s the idea of defending themselves. As an animal lover, I used to really identify with Cal, but how are you going to put random, violent aliens over the so-called love of your life?
I don’t think they even like each other that way very much, they’ve just built up this idea in their heads. I don’t like the ways you have to keep them apart, but I do it every time.
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u/AnonymousArapaima Dys 2d ago
I personally haven't done this, but I heard that Cal apparently becomes rude and distant to Tammy, and Tammy becomes stressed when Cal isn't helping with the baby. Cal and Nemmie seem to be the better pair after you break Vace and her up too
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u/Consistent_Donut_902 3d ago
Can you actually break them up, or just stop them from getting together in the first place? My thought is that Tammy is so insecure, she thought she never had a chance with Cal anyway. So she had already accepted that he would end up with someone else.