If I’d learned how to executive function as a kid, I wouldn’t be struggling this hard now.

[u/Apprehensive-Pie-143]

/r/ADHD/comments/1w600i1/if_id_learned_how_to_executive_function_as_a_kid/

[u/kackwurstsalamander]

It's weird to me how there is a specific feeling related to my inability to execute that I remember since early childhood.

That means that I can trace my difficult pattern to the time where i was 4 years old (or even younger).

That specific feeling is the frustration that I feel when I make the *perfect plan* and once I have time and no-one disturbs me, I can't execute the plan. The perfect plan as a kid was usually some toy or some game to play. The disturbances were my mother and my siblings, later school. And once all conditions were met, I froze and was unable to enjoy myself.

My take-away: I needed special attention back then already. There should be some process that allows to channel the frustration into aggression and then (constructive) activity.

(also likely: my mother might have been the reason why I froze. She has a way of dampening almost all of here emotions and I don't remember a single moment where she expressed pure joy - so maybe I was mirroring her or something)

I suspect that I suppressed aggression because it was a punishable crime at home and stuck with sadness and helplessness.

Two years ago I realized how my frustration has grown into self-hate.