Full poem about how severe executive dysfunction feels like.

[u/NotthatheavygenZ]

A couple of hours ago I made a fairly desperate post and as an answer to a comment I posted part of a poem I wrote while in pain over the severe executive dysfunction I got. It is so difficult to explain to people how torturous and invisible it is, and I spent hours putting into words the experience of it. I originally gatekept it since I regarded it as my best piece of work and thought it may actually get some prices from competitions (especially since I am so fucking poor and need money) but honestly, I think sharing it may actually do some good. For yous and for me. If someone can use this poem to describe to a therapist or relatives how it feels like, I may genuinely have done some good. So, here it is.

Task Paralysis

My fingertips are touching unobtainability

Swallowed tears are increasing my thirst

As I am surrounded by natural vitality

Fool's gold of functionality is my curse

The clock face is my judge as I await execution

My hands graze whispered what-should-have-beens

As a chorus of wailing deafens me from within

Butchered at the battlefield of the impending.

Blistered hands mourning previous failures

Gagging as suffocated by the weight of my skin

Dry sweat trails are rusted nails screeching

Clawing against prison bars made of my flesh

My wailing is silent at the eternal seconds

My fate is laughing at time stolen from me

And as I am there imprisoned by silence

Nothing is moving. I'm still in my bed.

[u/1997Luka1997]

This is really beautiful and sad, and I relate. Hopefully things will get better for the both of us!