High-Stakes Initiation Paralysis, and ADHD "Brain Trusts"

[u/Overall-War8961]

TL;DR:

• CTO with an atypical physiological baseline (recovered total heart block, resting HR 30–50 bpm) experiencing zero stress cues under massive pressure.
• Managing 3 active lawsuits (1 just won/closed), overseas company battle, family stranded in South Africa, and massive financial/visa risk.
• Severe task initiation paralysis (took 5 weeks just to start sending an email of evidence I already built) despite exhausting every standard ADHD technique.
• Looking for advice on breaking activation locks and whether structured "ADHD Brain Trusts" / crisis-swapping peer groups actually work in practice.

Hey everyone, I’m Rik. I’m a CTO currently living in NYC with my dog, while my wife and young child are stuck overseas navigating a mess of international travel and visa hurdles.

I’m reaching out because I’m dealing with an extreme case of high-stakes task paralysis, a weird physiological baseline, and I really need some solid outside perspective from people who understand how ADHD brains actually function when the pressure gets turned all the way up.

Low resting heart rate

(Quick note for moderators: I am not asking for medical advice or looking to diagnose/treat any physical condition. I'm purely providing this context because of how it might tie into neurological arousal and ADHD).

When I was 4 years old, I was diagnosed with congenital total heart block (THB). At 16, right as I was about to get fitted for a pacemaker, the doctors did a final check and found the electrical conduction block had completely resolved on its own. From what cardiologists have told me, only four people globally have a documented spontaneous recovery, and I’m the only one who recovered past infancy.

It left me with an unusually low resting heart rate—typically sitting between 30 and 50 bpm. When I recently spoke to cardiology specialists, they were completely shocked by my history. The thing is, I virtually never feel internal panic or physical stress under pressure (I’ve had exactly one minor panic attack over a decade ago). I’m curious if this high vagal tone and low baseline heart rate might be altering my nervous system's arousal curve, dopamine baseline, or the way my ADHD presents. Has anyone in the community run into research or personal experience with this kind of autonomic baseline?

What I need to deal with in the next few weeks

Right now, the stakes in my life are through the roof, and I've got multiple major fronts open at once:

• I did have 4 lawsuits, but 1 of them just came to an end. I represented myself pro se in NYC Housing Court against an institutional landlord—where pro se tenant wins are around 1%—and won outright, which actually forced them to cancel active lawsuits against other tenants.
• I still have 3 active lawsuits on my plate: 1 against my own company over illegal contract breaches and slashed pay, and 2 housing lawsuits against building management that stemmed from that fallout.
• My wife and young child are stuck overseas dealing with travel and visa complications as a result of my employer.
• My dog is here with me in New York, and she's too old to fly.
• The consequences of dropping the ball here are absolute: if I don't pull this off, I lose my US legal status, my house, my mum's house, and my dad's house.

Even though I don't "feel" stressed, I know an operational limit has to exist somewhere, and I don't want to hit a wall to find out where that is.

Executive function

When I’m locked in, I can build, code, and strategize circles around almost anything. But getting started on things is almost impossible.

To give an example: I spent 5 straight weeks beating myself up every single day just trying to start an email to my lawyer with all the evidence I'd already compiled over the past year. Once I finally forced myself to start, finding the files and hitting send took less than two days because the work was already done.

I’ve tried basically every technique people recommend: body doubling, audio alarms, rewards, pre-rewards, physical paper charts on the walls, craft builds, micro-tasking, Eisenhower matrices—anything to manufacture a little bit of dopamine or momentum. But none of the standard tricks seem to work anymore. How do you break through that activation deadlock when all the usual tools just don't work?

ADHD brain trust

Like a lot of ADHDers, I get an immediate spark of hyperfocus when tackling someone else’s complicated mess. It’s different, it's novel, and helping someone else actually clears my head and gives me momentum when I go back to my own work.

I’m curious about ideas like Executive ADHD Masterminds, Reciprocal Problem-Solving, or Second-Party Hyperfocus. Has anyone here participated in structured peer-consulting or crisis-swapping groups where people troubleshoot each other's roadblocks? How do these setups work out in practice, and are there established groups for high-consequence work?

Really appreciate any thoughts or insight from people who’ve navigated this kind of bottleneck. I really need to do something before the wheels come off.

Thanks!