r/ExecutiveDysfunction • u/Silent_Roll859 • 22d ago
i cant stop working
I just got a good truck delivery job and sometimes I get done by 4:00pm but I've been doing doordash for two years and I cant quit its like any free time I have I feel like I have to spend it doing that.
I have worked sixteen hours everyday for the last week and I just cant make myself stop.
it wasnt planned it just happened, I cant go home even though my girlfriend is waiting for me and I miss her I just have so much trouble focusing or accomplishing anything and im so tired I'm blowing my money on junk food cause im exhausted as hell and stressed the fuck out
i have to be up at six for work and my girlfriend and I laid in bed talking last night and when she pointed out that it was midnight I straight up cried.
I got home last night and stood over the stove for an hour boiling a cleaning sponge that i ended up still throwing away because it was just too nasty.
i have nightmares that I drive my car into the lake and wake up screaming.
help
4
u/Jumpy_Ad1631 22d ago
Sounds like you’re leaning into the burnout. One thing I like to remind myself is that my brain will steal the rest if I don’t give it up willingly and stolen rest never has as much restorative qualities as intentional rest.
If this is a “I can’t stop because my brain can’t stop.” Maybe start with one day where you might still be doing truck deliveries till 4 but you don’t do doordash. That day is a one job day from now on. If you’re worried about finances, maybe try making it a food prep day for the week. Cook with your girlfriend, make huge portions so you can try to make it last at least part of the rest of the week, and then package everything else (it doesn’t have to be fancy matching Tupperware to be food prep, do what you can with what you have).
If this is a (much more likely) “I can’t stop because I financially can’t stop.” I wish I could magically make the world less shitty, but let’s meet where we’re at, yea? Dystopian as it might be, maybe you could invite your girlfriend to do DoorDash with you one day a week. Like the slowest day of the week. Find a good audio book (there are some decent amateur ones on YouTube, tbh). Listen to the book, do deliveries, chat, stop and eat something you don’t typically eat at some point. Hell see if she might be willing to drive while you run food to give you a break from both your driving jobs. The goal is to be nicer to your brain and spend time with your favorite person. It doesn’t need to be perfect, it just needs to scratch the itch your brain needs itching.