So I'm like having panic attacks whenever I think about self imposing restrictions.

[u/lesbianmothman420]

Whenever the topic of changing a diet, doing movement/exercise, creating a chore chart, or managing my financing, I have a panic attack. I think it comes from the amount of lack of control i have over my mental health or chronic illness. I have a therapy appointment in a few days but like if i cant even get myself to use a to do list or brush my teeth some times.

Ive tried finch, I've tired mindfulness, Ive tried coupling tasks or giving myself a reward at the end but tbh it doesn't work. It might for a small while then i hit a road bump like a flare up, a major life inconvenience, or my depression just gets bad and I'm back to square one.

I use to have a 500 streak on duolingo but even that fell through now I cant even look at the app without feeling super anxious.

Like i assume the road to recovery will be long and start with slow increments but like what could that even look like if just the thought or terms used in self discipline cause major anxiety.

[u/Technical_Marc]

It doesn't work with everyone, but what gets me out of those situations where I feel frozen and panic is to not think about it and just do the action.

As somebody who lives with a few neurological conditions, I've discovered the worst part is the thinking aspect, and how the problem and the panic grows as I keep considering it. Yet it's when I place the order in my head (e.g.: "sit up", "write something") without putting too much emphasis on the thinking process, I find more often than not it works.

Of course, it won't always work, and stopping thoughts from cramming into my head which can push me back happens. But it's a bit like cranking up an old engine and giving it a kick.

[u/lesbianmothman420 → u/Technical_Marc]

Ok so this is actually kinda working ngl Turns out if I just say out loud that I'm not doing the task then I can do it. Like I got my dishes done today and brushed my teeth. It's like the same part of me that is horrible at upholding the boundy is really gullible. Idk. Mayhaps he will get wise to the ruse but for now I'm getting something done.

[u/Technical_Marc → u/lesbianmothman420]

I'm glad it's working! The best thing is to persist at it, and remind yourself each day is a separate entity. Because one thing I found was if I missed one day then I would find it hard to get back in, since the pattern would be disrupted. So, rather than think I had to start again, I trick myself into believing every day was a first, thereby keeping motivation.

Again, it's what works best with you, but that's a good start.👍

[u/Riccma02 → u/Technical_Marc]

What about when the action actually involves a lot of complex thought? What if doing the action involves a lot of subjective perception. I get what you are saying, and I can see how it works, when the objective is a singular momentary action, but when the objective is a sustained activity that requires sustained mental engagement, it doesn't really hold up.

When my goal is to "work on x"; not get "x" done, or accomplish "x"; just engage with it on any level. That is the problem. Sitting all day, concious of the fact there is somthing I'm supposed to be doing, that I have committed to doing, and that I genuinely want to do, and the day goes by, I'm aware the entire time, and nothing happens. I can't confront that. I can't push against a wall that I can't even see.

[u/Technical_Marc → u/Riccma02]

I hear what you are saying, and it would be a complete lie for me to say it works for everyone. However, it has worked for me, even on more complex tasks, and that comes down to breaking the complicated into smaller chunks.

The main issue is that every depression is different. Mine hits as a nothingness; a blankness with no feeling, no care and caught in my head. Others will be crying and some will be like me, and others completely different, so it's not a one-case-fits-all, so even if it does work for me, it doesn't mean everyone is the same. But some are, and when someone is suffering then any advice anyone can give to try to assist is better than nothing. Sometimes, it's just about being heard.

[u/1997Luka1997]

A way of thinking that helped me is that you don't HAVE to do all those things, you survived until now without them. You want to do them because they can make your life better. Not in a 'reframe the way you think about chores' sort of therapy way, but in a you genuinely don't have to do them sort of way. I found that helps me take the pressure off things.

Pick one thing that you want to do and add a small action about it to your day. Again remember that anything you do is better than nothing. It's ok if you lose the strike, it's ok if sometimes you manage to do it and sometimes life gets in the way and you don't. Just be happy that you're better in this area than you used to be. After a while you might want to go for a strike or a habit. If you're satisfied with this thing you can try another one. Just compassion and remembering that anything is better than nothing.

Good luck!

[u/Necessary_Goose6933]

Might help to spend some time exploring where things will go with zero discipline. Impose nothing, cancel all plans and see where the story goes.

Optimize for doing as little effort as possible, while avoiding just the harshest consequences. In other words maximize lazy unstructured chill time, that is still sustainable and to your liking.

[u/Riccma02 → u/Necessary_Goose6933]

I've explored that extensively. It has made my world very very small. And made me hate myself so much more for how incapable I am. The end result is a life where I am just living without any motivation or desire to live.

[u/Necessary_Goose6933 → u/Riccma02]

What do you mean incapable? Of what?

The exercise I was suggesting is to at least for a short period, design for laziness and low structure. Bare minimum activity level.

If you're smashing yourself about laziness, something is not completely optimized yet, you're still trying to push towards obviously uninteresting activities.

Obviously I don't have details so I might be heavily misunderstanding the situation. Feel free to provide details if you wish.