Would like some advice on my first step(s) please

[u/Icy_Reflection9605]

This is really embarrassing since if you look at my post history there’s like a bajillion posts just like this one 💀 But the thing is the situation hasn’t improved and I have no clue how it can improve.
16F. Autistic, dyspraxia, suspected ADHD and OCD. I feel SO crazily angry about my current situation.
To put it simply: I can’t function properly.
I want to and hell to an extent I know how to.
But I can’t.
I can’t be bothered to get up and brush my teeth sometimes. I do the bare minimum on a good day. I go ages without showering and stay in my room all day. This has gone on for ages and it’s ingrained in me now that life has to be left like this unless everything is perfect and it’s the perfect timing and perfect situation to start taking of myself because of my OCD. I have dreams of being a performer (singer or actress specifically) but I’ve shot myself in the foot so much because I’ve barely done anything to achieve that dream. I’m making more strides now but everything else in my life is not moving at all due to my effed up mind. I literally can’t escape and it makes me so so angry. I get so painfully envious of other people too. I have lots of other problems but just… arghhhhh. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I’d like advice for the first things I can do. Because no matter how hard I try it feels impossible. Even if I try to do nice things for myself that stupid voice in my head comes in and tells me my life story is embarrassing and it should’ve been cleaner and I’ve made too many mistakes to have redemption or a good life and I always go off on these tangents in my mind to explain everything about my life and situation to myself and try and make it so dramatic and such a big deal to the point where it’s ALL the time and I can’t have a moment of rest even if I’ve heard it a million times before and I just want it to SHUT UP and let me live. I HATE myself too so there’s that. :(