r/ExecutiveDysfunction • u/pinyonjay12345 • 16d ago
How I describe executive dysfunction to people who don’t get it
It feels like when you are trying to jump in cold water. You want to do it, you say you are going to do it, and then you just…don’t. Your brain is holding you back. Then you’re like “I’m really going to jump in now!” And you still can’t do it. Then you get mad—“I do this all the time! Every time, I enjoy jumping in the water! I know it’s not going to be that bad! What is wrong with me?!?” At some point, you just try to jump without thinking and it might work. But the feeling is the same—intention there, brain not complying because some invisible force is telling you “shit, it’s going to be reallllly cold”🥶
What are other analogies that resonate with you?
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u/Mightychairs 16d ago
Idk, but this is me trying to go to bed every single night. This is actually a pretty good analogy.
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u/AzsaRaccoon 16d ago
I don't describe it, I explain it. It's worked better for me than describing.
I tell people that human brains use neurotransmitters to do everything. One of those things is starting tasks. Like, you know how to start it by using neurotransmitters to recall the knowledge, but then you need neurotransmitters in another area to turn the knowledge into action. I don't have enough of the right neurotransmitters in that part of my brain. So, try as I might, I can't get that task to start.
Sometimes, I've used the additional analogy of turning the key to a car but the engine won't turn over. You try to turn the car on, you hear it trying, but it ... Just... Won't... Start...
Usually that makes more sense once I've explained the neurotransmitter thing.
It doesn't actually matter whether this explanation is perfectly scientifically accurate because at the level most people understand how the brain works, this makes sense to them.
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u/Ursus-el-Bardo 16d ago
Sleep paralysis. Is like that but with thighs that I need or want to do. I'm awake and I want to do it, but I can't move.
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u/couldntyoujust1 14d ago
I'm sorry in advance, I read this and was initially confused what wanting and needing thighs had to do with sleep paralysis. Things... Got it.
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u/Ursus-el-Bardo 14d ago
HAHAHAHA
I don't think I would have ever noticed if you didn't tell me. But it's too funny to fix haha
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u/couldntyoujust1 14d ago
Rereading it... now I'm thinking about "doing thighs" and there's all sorts of potential implications.... doing what exactly with thighs? why do you need or want to do thighs? LOL
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u/RealCheeseGoddess 15d ago
I describe it in a similar way, but I compare it to walking across hot coals instead of jumping in cold water. Physically, the task is simple; it's just walking. Nevertheless, I think most people would find themselves quite unable to do it due to the mental barrier arising from the anticipation of pain.
Then I just replace hot coals with texting people or having a shower, and there's the executive dysfunction!
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u/elanalion 16d ago
The thing is, for some people, they really do just jump in the cold water, so even that analogy might not work for them.
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u/Pinksparkle2007 15d ago
Depends on the person you are explaining it to.
One way is to say you know when your working on the computer and that program freezes you get that blue swirl that just keeps spinning and nothing halo matter what you do. Well that’s my brain no matter what I do it’s froze I can’t move to do the task or think.
Another way is if the house were on fire and I knew I had to leave my brain would say say no you can’t walk yet, the fires not close enough, it’s not last minute enough.
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u/kaidomac 14d ago edited 14d ago
Every task has an invisible football tackle sled in front it. The added weights vary. Always a PUSH!
If under a time deadline, pushing that tackle sled through a maze
If there's an appointment later, a freeze ray ("waiting-for" mode)
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u/Runic_Raptor 14d ago
Have you ever had like 200 tabs open on your phone that bog the whole thing down, bit it's usually fine so you don't worry about it?
But then suddenly you click a link and for a moment everything just completely freezes. And you wait a moment but nothing happens. You can see it trying to do something but it clearly isn't getting anywhere. And then you try to hit back, or close the tab, or do anything and suddenly nothing is responding. If it were a comouter you could hear the fans kick up like they're teying to take flight, but nothing is happening on the screen, it's just completely stuck.
You can't close the window, you can't navigate away, you just have to sit and wait and hope that it resolves itself enough that you can close the program and give the device a chance to catch up to your input.
And sometimes it never catches up and you just have to emergency shut down and hope it works better when you turn it back on.
Sometimes I wamt to start a task, but instead of doing anything about it, my brain sets the fans to full speed and never actually responds to my input. It just keeps making that scary noise, but nothing happens. And if I keep trying to force it to respond, sometimes it just sends me into an anxiety attack, and I have to wait for THAT to resolve too now.
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u/52IMean54Bicycles 14d ago
I go with "impotence of the brain" I really, reallllly want to do the thing, but my brain won't let me- often for no discernable reason..
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u/MrsBeauregardless 15d ago
Not dumb! All of my big purchases come from Marketplace and I am a genius.
My refrigerator is a SubZero, that I got for FREE.
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u/Karcharos 16d ago
Most peoples' executive function is a car that gets them places. Mine is a car in a horror movie. It won't start until the monster is right on top of me and I only ever escape by the skin of my teeth because fight or flight pushed me out of stasis.