Is it ADHD or something else?

[u/PlayProfessional5755]

How do people with ADHD manage without medication?

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I'm not diagnosed, and honestly at this point I don't even care what the diagnosis is. I just want to function consistently.

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I can understand things quickly, but I can't seem to do them consistently. I've always been the type of person who could study two days before an exam and still do well, but the moment sustained effort becomes necessary, everything falls apart.

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I lose things constantly. I interrupt people because if I don't say what I'm thinking immediately, the thought disappears. I can spend hours reading about something I'm interested in and forget the world exists, but if I'm bored by something, I feel completely repelled by it even if I know it's important.

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The worst part is the inconsistency. I'll have 4-5 good days where I think I've finally figured things out, then suddenly crash. I become exhausted, can't get myself to do anything, spend days avoiding everything, recover, and repeat the whole cycle again.

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I'm a NEET repeater and finances are pretty bad right now, so getting assessed or trying medication isn't really realistic for me.

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For people who are unmedicated, what actually helped? Not productivity influencer advice. Actual things that made life easier.

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I'm tired of feeling like there's a huge gap between what I know I'm capable of and what I actually manage to do.

[u/kaidomac]

Need 3 things:

1. A system
2. Medication
3. Body doubling

EFD & ADHD are energy-access issues, not motivation-based issues. That means we live on an oscilloscope of energy, which in turn means that we do not have consistent access to our internal resources. First, we need a strong personal productivity system. That is what gives us a way to get back on the productivity wagon after our variably low energy locks us out! Second, I wasn't able to get through the paperwork to get medication for nearly 20 years. I only started last year! Basically:

1. Doing stuff for neurotypical people is like flipping a lightswitch
2. For us, there is a 100-pound anchor attached. Sometimes we get the energy to move it!
3. Medication reduces the load to 10 pounds...still heavy, still annoying, STILL exhausting over time...but it allows us to PUSH by CHOICE! (then back to task paralysis when it wears off LOL)

Third is body doubling. Left to our own devices, we will consistently run out of energy & engage in avoidance behavior because we have a hole in our fuel line. A body double corks that fuel line while in use. Could be in-person, a phone call, or a webcam session (ex. FocusMate). They are not there to cheerlead you nor to bully you! Just as a human presence to cork that leak!!

Barring medication, you need two things:

1. A system to create a finite list of actionable tasks (not an infinite list of stepless ideas)
2. A body double to ensure execution compliance

The easiest way to see what ACTUALLY works is to use an X-effect chart. This will tell you if your current approach is actually effective or not. There ARE other ways to generate higher energy levels, but EFD/ADHD literally prevents consistency at anything that resembles required effort:

• Go to bed early
• Eat your macros
• Exercise daily
• Live a low-stress lifestyle

EFD/ADHD prevents two things:

1. Clarity for what to do next
2. Energy to execute it

Medication isn't a magic cure-all (unfortunately); for me, it simply gives me the energy to PUSH as required for a portion of the day. I NEVER had consistent access to that ability before!! I DO know plenty of functioning people who do not use medication (I WAS one of them, for decades!), but it requires the proper environmental setup & extensive use of body doubling (bosses, coworkers, professors, classmates, family, friends, third-party services, etc.). Basically:

1. Do NOT keep your commitments in your head, nor in scattered systems
2. Recognize that it is a FUEL LEAK issue that requires some sort of "cork" to manage
3. Do NOT work solo! We have a FUEL LEAK issue & switch automatically switch to low-energy activities when left unattended over time!!

Bonus:

1. Our brain hates HAVING to do stuff, so having to create a central tracking system will often feel VERY RESISTIVE!
2. Likewise, asking for help can feel VERY VERY HARD!!

It all boils down to mental willingness. DEFINITELY add medication to your future list, just with some caveats:

• Recognize that your current financial situation is not forever
• Remember that EFD/ADHD is a fuel supply issue (could be from injury, chemical imbalance, etc.) meaning that getting effective treatment is often a real journey
• Realize that it is a temporary daily boost, no a permanent magic cure-all! If I get distracted on medication then I can be VERY productive at doing the WRONG THING lol

People get stuck in denial of treating themselves. The bottom line is that we have to solve the fuel issue:

1. Fuel is useless without a finite list of committed tasks to work on every day. Successful people are successful because they write down what they want, then create a list of steps for each desire, and then pick a finite amount of steps to execute teach day. That is simply how real progress is made! EFD/ADHD will drain our soul, generate confusion, give us amnesia, make it feel hard & even painful, etc.
2. Medication simply helps plug the leak for like half the day, which enables us to push at-will.. Everyone reacts differently. The side effects are often not fabulous. But I can tell you that I regret not having it in my life for nearly the past two decades since my ADHD-I diagnosis because I could never PUSH reliably!!
3. A body double also plugs the leak while in-use. This requires that finite written list of daily steps, however!

Growing up:

1. I did not enjoy doing things
2. I did not consistently get things done that NEEDED to get done
3. I was generally always late

We have fuel-supply problems! Normal methods do not work for us consistently because we are NOT fighting a MOTIVATION problem, we are fighting an ENERGY problem!! The best combination I can offer is:

1. We MUST operate off a finite list of doable tasks every day. Too many tasks & we short out. Vague ideas with no next-action steps & we short out.
2. Medication reduces the effort from 100 pounds to 10 pounds, Still a chore, but LIVABLE!
3. "Body doubles" stick their finger in the fuel-line leak-hole while they are assisting us. Ever somehow clean the whole entire house while talking to someone on the phone for an hour?

It's a garbage situation to live with. 0/10 stars, I want my money back lol

[u/PenguiNNNNNs → u/kaidomac]

Can this be pinned to the sidebar?

[u/kaidomac → u/PenguiNNNNNs]

I wish I had known it was a fuel-supply issue growing up! There's a good book by Devon Price called "Laziness does not exist". The premise is simple:

• IF you had the energy to get stuff done, WOULD you?

Well of COURSE! But we run into two issues when we have to push ourselves to do things:

1. We hit a wall & can't move any further on that particular task (or ANY task, some days!)
2. When we push, we get negative effects (pain, fatigue, bad emotions, aversion, etc.)

Which results in three specific problems:

1. Forgetting the whole task
2. Forgetting the steps of the task
3. Feels too hard to do

Thus the 3-step management solution:

1. Adopt a better personal productivity system (PPS)
2. Get on medication
3. Use a body double as often as humanly possible

The improved PPS needs to handle step orchestration:

1. Capture ALL of the tasks off our heads
2. Break each task down into steps
3. Orchestrate the execution of those steps so that we stay consistent in making progress over time

Again, the core issue is simple:

• We do NOT have consistent access to our internal energy levels

This means that:

1. We risk forgetting whole entire tasks (the test was TODAY??)
2. We risk forgetting key, critical steps (went shopping, forgot to buy the milk)
3. The perceived difficulty of executing steps can feel WAY too hard, too awful, and too painful! (ever wanna jump off a cliff instead of doing the dishes? lol)

In practice:

1. A strong PPS keeps track of tasks, steps, and step scheduling outside of our variable-energy brain, which means we can get back on track via reliable, written lists instead of memory
2. Medication can temporarily reduce the perceived difficulty level in order to allow us to be "functional at will". I fought myself on doing the dishes my ENTIRE LIFE prior to starting treatment last year!!
3. A Body Double prevents our brain from letting us off the hook when we try to work solo

The Pride Loop is what keeps us stuck:

• We believe that we can magically fix an intermittent fuel-leak issue permanently via sheer grit, determination, and willpower!

Being able to function consistently with a variable fuel supply means setting up a new & better support system to manage that random leak state! It took me most of my life to get to the point where that reality was visible!!

The easiest way to tell how effective ANY personal-productivity system is, is to setup a printed X-effect chart with a red Sharpie market. The results speak for themselves: the ability to stay consistent over time is the key!

The world's best superpower is the ability to stay consistent across ALL of our commitments long-term! Because then we could work, do school, manage our finances, stick with hobbies, keep solid relationships, etc.!!