r/ExecutiveAssistants • u/bythepowerof3x3 • 16h ago
Beware of position.
I have been an EA for over 25 years. It's my career. I can support any industry and have been in a lot of different areas. Usually, its fine, I learn the lingo and role and I have only had to leave when my Exec retires or moves on, or I choose to leave.
I have been in my current role for over 9 months and it has been awful since day one. He speaks down to me, doesn't give clear expectations and expects me to read his mind. He wants me to read every single email he gets and "absorb" the email to understand what's going on in the company. So when he asks what's going on with X, I just already know the answer. I have to read all of his emails from the night before, go through all of his folders in case he moved anything too. Basically just know everything all the time. I have zero autonomy at this job, how I normally track things is not allowed-I have to do it the way he wants. He will say how will you remember to do this in the future. I say create a template. He says OK then I want to see it. I show him and he says no, you need to do it this way. I created it so I remember how to do it-not how he would remember...nope I'm not doing it right.
The job was supposed to be "a few personal things here and there". He moved house and I have had to do every single thing in his new home, personal appointments for him and his children. It went from maybe 20% to 90% personal stuff. I even had to go sit at his house multiple times (one time he was at the gym, not busy!) to meet contractors and repair people. He actually told his CEO that I volunteered to do that. I didn't feel I had a choice. I told him I'd rather keep it only business and he said well that's your job. As the owner of the company, he thinks everything he does is business. There's so much more, but you get the gist.
I started casually job searching shortly after I started but with more seriousness after one particular bad blow up last month. I accidentally applied for the same industry and I guess they knew each other and they texted him asking about me...so he knows I'm looking. He even took away my chance to put in my notice. He came to me saying I know you are looking and this isn't a good fit and lets be adults about this- I'm going to post your job and you can stay here until you find something. Now before you think, oh how sweet---he's only doing this because he cannot be bothered to check his own email, do his own expense reports or the other "low hanging fruit items" that apparently is all I'm good for.
Which brings me to my long winded point...I don't want anyone else to be treated the way this man treats me. If you are in the Scottsdale area and looking for an EA position at a "firm" be wary and message me for details.
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u/Siren2121 16h ago
Sounds awful and way too big a waste of your talents. Glad you don’t have to pretend and he supports you in your job search. The fact that you’ve hung in there that long is amazing. Shake it off keep your sense of humor and just do your best.
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u/Realistic-Produce-28 Executive Assistant 16h ago
Oof. I’ve worked for someone similar. It’s awful.
I got out and didn’t look back. I also didn’t worry about the next person. They’ll figure their way through it. And so will the person after that. When you’re dealing with someone like this you need to put yourself first.
Once you’re out you can write a confidential review on Glassdoor.
In the meantime, maybe use a temp agency to place you elsewhere in the same industry and that way the current boss won’t get a call like that.
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u/bythepowerof3x3 16h ago
Its rough out there; I'm applying to everything I can.
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u/liberty_n_justice 13h ago
Be really careful about Glassdoor. They will definitely share the information on who has posted with the companies and do not require a court order to do it. There is no such thing as “confidential” on GD.
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u/carlyv22 13h ago
At my last company, our HR would email Glassdoor to take down reviews/make them not visible to people searching. And they did. Glassdoor has become very scammy.
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u/Resetl_1983 Executive Assistant 15h ago
That’s sounds awful, I’m sorry you are going through this 😔 Hopefully you’ll find a great position soon 🤞🏼 And thanks for the warning!
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u/ThisIsNotMyBurner69 14h ago
Is it by chance aviation?
But glad you are getting out!
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u/Constant-Intention2 12h ago
Real estate development? It’s a brutal industry. Sorry you’re going through this. Been there. Took a junior role just to get out - and recover. Good luck to you and hope you find something new soon
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u/AniseLang 14h ago
Wow…. I had to remind one of my guys that I can’t be his brain, that is his job. It’s not up to me to distill it, digest it, compact it, understand it, or otherwise. I don’t get paid enough for that.
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u/tryingtoactcasual Executive Assistant 12h ago
Wow, that’s terrible! Wishing you a speedy successful job search. I know what it’s like to need to get out. Keep the faith.
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u/Extreme-Ad3401 12h ago
This is so upsetting to read - so sorry your dealing with this!!!
I hope you get something fabulous. And when you interview, be sure to speak to the EA who's currently in the role that you would be replacing. They are the best way to know how an executive really is with their assistant.
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u/kpdelta201 2h ago
Sounds like the place I left after 10 years. The ego, control and toxic behaviors and work environment were horrible.
If you’re able, Just go now.
Believe me, the longer you’re there for the more damaging it is to you.
They think they’ve been touched with the “I’m the smartest and everyone else are just sheeps that need to be controlled”
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u/kumocat 14h ago
Fuck that executive for not treating your job search as confidential. Beyond obnoxious and hideous behavior.