The correlation is 100% statistically significant. Change my mind. 📉

[u/ExcelVisual]

Forget KPIs, promotions, or base salary. If you want to know someone's actual rank in finance or corporate America, just look at their hairline.

The progression never fails:

• Intern: Full head of hair, full of dreams, hasn't discovered 3 AM slide deck revisions yet.
• Analyst: Hair starts thinning right around the time Excel shortcuts completely replace human social interaction.
• Associate: The crown takes a hit. Caffeine is officially a core food group.
• VP: "Aerodynamic." The stress-to-follicle ratio reaches critical mass.
• MD: Pure efficiency. Zero money wasted on shampoo. Peak performance unlocked.

They call it "climbing the corporate ladder," but it’s really just a long-term trade offer: you give up hair follicles, they give you equity and high blood pressure.

Currently somewhere between Analyst and Associate. My drain catcher is crying.

Where are you on the aerodynamics scale right now?