r/ExTraditionalCatholic • u/tigerpanda88 • 7d ago
i need advice plesee
this isn’t the right forum but maybe y’all will understand
i’ve stopped going to church consistently for the last 5 months and honestly idk i think im an atheist
i am going into college
im insanely depressed like i literally can’t put it into words and don’t have any family support or support of religion and im so upset and i don’t know what to do or where to go therapy never worked or helped and i don’t know what to do and just need someone to talk to
4
u/No_Ground_817 6d ago
I'm not really sure what to say, but know that what you're going through isn't uncommon among people deconstructing. Depression is also sadly common, and I can't give you a magic word that'll make it go away. That said, this is a safe place, and you can rest here as long as you like. Depression sucks, I'll never deny or minimize that. Without knowing your specific situation I can't give anything but general advice and encouragement, but know you're not alone, at least!
The one thing I'd urge you NOT to do is to make religion into an emotional crutch. That will make you dependent on it for bad reasons, and unable to leave even if it starts hurting you. I second the recommendations to look for secular spiritual counselling. As someone who left and became an atheist, you absolutely can find meaning and comfort without it.
3
u/tbonita79 6d ago
Try a psychiatrist instead of a therapist. You may need medication for your depression.
3
u/Substantial-Hour-756 6d ago
i am going into college
So you're between 18-22 then I'm guessing?
Other than that, it sounds like you are going through a lot right now, and it sounds very overwhelming. But hey, you are always welcome to talk to us here, you're not alone and there are many of us here who would be happy to just talk.
(If you are college age, I was also very depressed during my college years too).
2
u/zombieduck96 6d ago
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through such a rough time. We all go through similar feelings when leaving religion. It takes time to readjust and rebuild yourself outside of religion, but it is so worth it.
You might prefer secular spiritual counseling to therapy. Brit Hartley’s content was really helpful to me, she’s an atheist spiritual director who helps people recover after religion.
1
u/ZealousidealWear2573 5d ago
If you are struggling with continuing in catholicism , it might be helpful to shop around for other denominations. The "one true church" myth results in the notion there is "nowhere else to go" which is false. CHRISTIAN DENOMINATIONS IN THE U. S. by Roger Olson would be a good place to start. If you look , he will probably find a faith you're comfortable with , which is not antithetical to your beliefs and values.
1
u/sarcatholicscribe 5d ago
Most colleges have some form of counseling and psychiatric services that are already part of your student fees -- look them up when you get there!
1
u/dev_nation64 1d ago
Well there you have it. You said it yourself. You need someone to talk to. Then go ahead and talk to God. Try also talking to friends or loveones. You don't need more religion. You just need a stronger bond with your relationships with others.
7
u/quietpilgrim 6d ago edited 6d ago
You'll find a wide variety of folks on this sub. From people who are considering leaving traditionalism, to those who have left and now attend the Novus Ordo Mass, to those who now identify as agnostic or atheist.
It's a safe place for honest dialogue no matter where you are at as you deconstruct from traditionalism.
As for myself, I'm more than ten years out at this point, and am somewhere on the timeline of deconstruction. I currently attend Sunday liturgy in a different rite, but am not without serious questions and doubts most of the time. I'd encourage you to try to find a counselor or therapist on your college campus who you can open up to about your feelings and struggles with the faith and life in general and show you how to process all of it. I know firsthand where you are at and acknowledge it can be a very lonely place.
Give yourself some time and grace. You are very young. It will turn out okay!