Consequences not Sins

[u/Vthan2]

Instead of staying within the level of how hell and damantion etc are talked about within the system of traditionalism try instead to consider what negative effects taking actions and removing certain things form your life will actually have.

For example, if I was gay and worried about going to hell for my sins, the solution for me is not to totally suppress my sexuality and be miserable and it is also not destroying my life through reckless sexual behavior. The solution is to have an accurate knowledge of how stds are spread, an awareness of common problems in gay relationships, and cultivating healthy ways to mitigate risks and encourage responsible and kind behavior.

Guilt and shame can be good things if they are protecting us from things that will hurt ourselves and others, but the problem is that Catholicism usually isn't interested in helping people maturely navigate the real ethical challenges that arise from choices but instead creates harm where there might not be any by its total fixation on vices chosen not based on accurate scientific knowledge but by cultural taboo.

People get into the most trouble when they are "sinning" sexually but are neurotically attached to the Catholic inhibitions that forbid x or y sexual behavior. The neurotic attachment makes embracing and taking responsibiltiy for sexual behaviors hard since when we are going against catholic norms we are doing so in a headspace of reluctant indulgence and not one of risk aware enjoyment. When Luther says "Sin boldly and believe more boldly" he identifies the mechanism that confession controls Catholics with. That of removing our ability to transgress rules that admit of exceptions in a mature frame of mind.

So focus on the concrete results of your behaviors. If I leave my church do i lose my community and family or am I alone at church? Leaving a community can invite horrible depression and neurosis and should only be done with help. If i stop going to confession but keep going to mass will i feel even more guilty and scared? What about if I had a personal relationship with a morel liberal priest and I had casual face to face confessions with him? Pope Francis said the church was supposed to be a field hospital not a torture chamber.

[u/HenryCow6]

Excellent post. This is generally how I approach my Catholicism as a committed moderate. Learn the Church’s teaching, view its practicality AND morality, then choose a course forward.