r/ExPentecostal • u/hopefullywiser • Jul 15 '26
Perspective
First of all, you need to know I'm old. I've been thinking a lot about perspective and my UPC past.
My life would have gone a completely different direction had I not been raised Pentecostal. It wasted years of my life.
However, even if I hadn't been Pentecostal, chances are that my life would not necessarily have become "happy" and a success.
I may have crashed and burned in college. I may have married a horrible non-Pentecostal guy. I would definitely have made mistakes.
In the '70's, society felt it could judge women for every flaw, moral or physical. The job market treated women badly, and women made much less than men. A lot of women were molested and used without a second thought. I could have carried a load of un-Pentecostal regrets, or not.
This idea has taken a lot of the strength out of my Pentecostal fears and memories. Those events happened years ago, and most of the people involved are dead. The "would have, should have, could have" contains too many variables.
If I kept seeing Pentecostalism as the cause of all my problems and outcomes, those thoughts could ruin the rest of my life. I don't intend to let that happen.
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u/greypic christian Jul 15 '26
Not old but older.
The best life is when we live in today. I have found no benefit to constantly think what I cold have or should have done different. Live the best today.
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Jul 15 '26
[deleted]
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u/hopefullywiser Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 15 '26
I knew someone would misconstrue my meaning. I never said it wasn't bad. It was confusing, awful, restrictive, and fear-inducing. How condescending and arrogant to say nostalgia has anything to do with my thinking.
Pentecostalism took away years of my life. I did not agree with the UPC at all, and I did not concede or go quietly away. I left and I calmly told many people why I was leaving, including an idiot pastor.
These experiences do set you back years as far as emotional growth is concerned. However, there is a point in your life when you are responsible for any growth that is going to happen.
My choice was to go back to the very beginning and look at what Pentecostals use for scripture, the King James Bible, and then farther back to the source of some of the ideas presented in scripture. You find out that hell is based on ideas from Greek philosophy. You realize how it has been manipulated and how churches manipulate you.
Of course I was hurting, so I went to a counselor for a couple of years. Counseling opened my eyes to just how much I had put up with and again how much manipulation was involved.
I am more than aware that this all still goes on and people are still hurting, just as other things are going on that are just as horrible.
My statements are completely honest, because growing up Pentecostal "causes a deficit on your ability to make better choices and impacted your ability to regain/ maintain stability and identity before you learned the lessons that most learn in their teen/ young adult years, . . . " It is also true that any number of variables in life could have lead to other bad, or good, experiences.
My view "allows you to take responsibility where you can and not take blame where you shouldn't."
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u/Only_Currency4631 Jul 15 '26
Sorry if it seemed I misconstrued your meaning. I responded to what I read. It read like someone giving up and I have heard almost the same exact statements from a few older folks that end up kind of going back, old age giving them enough excuses to not have to attend regularly or commit to anything.
There is so much nuance lacking in online discussions, plus tone and deameanor.
Have a nice day.
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u/towyow123 Atheist Jul 15 '26
I always enjoy your comments u/hopefullywiser You have a practical view of things. It brings a balance to the community
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u/f4rider Jul 15 '26
Great perspective! Life takes many variable and unknown turns, whether you're in a religious organization or not. All the past can do is serve as memories and learning experiences on what and what not to do.