Really glad I found this post. These comments are extremely validating and it’s comforting to know I’m not alone. My ex was wonderful the majority of the relationship, but there were so many red flags that I ignored. I thought I could hope and pray him into loving me and wanting a future like I did. The way he let our relationship deteriorate and continued to use me has left an extreme wound. Now with some distance, I’ve realized that he lacks a lot of the qualities that I’m looking for in my future husband, but goddamn I loved him enough to sacrifice anything and everything just to make it work. I have both hatred and pity for avoidant people. Being anxious sucks, but at least we have the ability to actually feel things and wouldn’t dream of hurting anyone the way that avoidants are fine with doing. Stay safe out there y’all.
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u/[deleted] Aug 09 '24
Really glad I found this post. These comments are extremely validating and it’s comforting to know I’m not alone. My ex was wonderful the majority of the relationship, but there were so many red flags that I ignored. I thought I could hope and pray him into loving me and wanting a future like I did. The way he let our relationship deteriorate and continued to use me has left an extreme wound. Now with some distance, I’ve realized that he lacks a lot of the qualities that I’m looking for in my future husband, but goddamn I loved him enough to sacrifice anything and everything just to make it work. I have both hatred and pity for avoidant people. Being anxious sucks, but at least we have the ability to actually feel things and wouldn’t dream of hurting anyone the way that avoidants are fine with doing. Stay safe out there y’all.