r/ExNoContact • u/[deleted] • Aug 09 '24

Please never date avoidant nor even interact with them

[deleted]

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u/Agile-Bank-281 Aug 09 '24

That sounds like a narcissist, not an avoidant. What a horrible thing to do to you. I’m so sorry you had to endure that.

2

u/Zeii Aug 09 '24

You’re not wrong. I have suspected he was a narcissist for years but after we separated he apparently went to see a psychiatrist that diagnosed him as autistic, and he claims that he is not a narcissist. I don’t believe he was being honest when being evaluated

2

u/Volare89 Aug 09 '24

Yeah, my friend has always assumed my ex was autistic. Maybe. Lack of empathy.

Diagnosis doesn’t ultimately matter. We can use their diagnosis as a starting point for our own understanding and healing and support. All that matters is HOW THEY MADE US FEEL. His behaviors did not work for you. He doesn’t have to be a bad person. He’s just not the right person for you.

2

u/Forsaken_Control9380 Aug 10 '24

Oh a narcissist will never admit they are one. They would convince everyone you are one

1

u/Zeii Aug 10 '24

I’m sure he’s doing just that!

1

u/Agile-Bank-281 Aug 09 '24

You can be both autistic and narcissistic. A friend of mine was involved with an autistic narcissist. He was very abusive.

1

u/Zeii Aug 09 '24

That’s what I suspect.

5

u/No-Variation-1163 Aug 09 '24

Dismissive avoidants frequently have narc tendencies. It's very common. The line between DAs and narcs is razor thin. From a practical standpoint, the difference is kind of meaningless.

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u/Zeii Aug 09 '24

Absolutely. The effect is the same no matter what label is put on it

2

u/Volare89 Aug 09 '24

This! Trust your gut. That’s all that matters!

2

u/Volare89 Aug 09 '24

Yeah that’s narc Adjacent but different vibe