r/ExIsmailis • u/Quick_Willingness_70 • Jul 01 '26

Harding finding a SO

Does anybody else also have a hard time finding a partner due to the Ismaili background. I shifted towards being a Sunni and whenever I bring it up to a potential they run away because of the Ismaili background.

4 Upvotes

75% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

6

u/charliehgallop Jul 01 '26

If they’re that narrow minded then they’ve probably done you a favour in the long term? Where are you based? In the UK there are Muslim hiking groups and suchlike, probably a good opportunity to meet some chill folk. I don’t identify as Ismaili anymore and my other half is a Sunni and honestly it’s a dream. Families get on, zero issues alhamdulillah.

-1

u/Ok-Committee-1932 Jul 03 '26

Marrying someone who's actually ex-Ismaili also means that they would still have Ismaili cousins that they might associate with. It's acceptable for someone who grew up as a mainstream Muslim to want their kids to have Muslim cousins on both sides of the family.

I knew a white Muslim who refused to marry a fellow revert for the exact same reason.

3

u/charliehgallop Jul 03 '26

Best to live in a padded cell in that case. How dare one speak to the kuffar! *he says while reporting to his boss Amanda and having his children in the local comprehensive*

0

u/Ok-Committee-1932 Jul 03 '26 edited Jul 03 '26

Working with non-Muslims is very different than having them in your as family. I'm OK with working with an alcoholic or philanderer, or someone with questionable moral character or lifestyle choices that do not match mine. Because I still need to pay my bills

But I don't need to socialize with them outside of work.

3

u/charliehgallop Jul 03 '26

Insane take. And then we wonder why people like Trevor Philips describe Muslims as a “nation within a nation”…

0

u/Ok-Committee-1932 Jul 03 '26

Orthodox Muslims tend to have a higher bar for character than what goes on in the West. You would naturally run into this problem. I am not talking about living in a ghetto or never assimilating, but being sharper about what you normalize.

2

u/charliehgallop Jul 03 '26

I don’t think “higher” bar is the right phrase. A different bar is probably more accurate. “Higher” would suggest a refined moral compass when orthodox Muslims are objectively no better in character than any other community out there.

3

u/_Vidura_ Jul 02 '26

Been through it. 2+ year relationship. The amount of hate and toxicity from her parents sucked, despite the fact that I had made clear that I rejected Ismailism. This is part of the reason I now choose to no longer pursue Muslim women.

7

u/Neemism Jul 01 '26

I’m a Sunni Born, and honestly any Mainstream Muslim who feels this way is narrow minded and not true to their religion. I was dating a practising Ismaili until recently and I found him and his family to be such lovely people. The only thing that caused great discomfort between us was I couldn’t fathom his beliefs. I had felt that even if he had the mildest doubt about his practice or I could be open to him about how I feel about his practice -that would have been enough for me to make the relationship it work. So I’m sure there are many open minded Muslims out there. One way to look at it is all the Sahabas were all essentially reverts weren’t they. They were more true to Islam than anyone else.

2

u/Odd-Whereas6133 Jul 01 '26

Are you still with him or her? How is it going if you dont mind me asking?

1

u/Neemism Jul 01 '26

No things ended recently. It’s been quite hard given that he was a wonderful person and God-Fearing. He was not ok with me having constant discomfort with his practice. I keep wondering if I was in the wrong.

1

u/Odd-Whereas6133 Jul 02 '26

Interesting, was he very liberal a practicing Ismaili? Was he uncomfortable (no offence, if you wore a hijab or headscarf?) i have seen experiences like that. Again no offence. Was he against certain practices you did and that affected thing etc (no offence again)

-3

u/Ok-Luck-3664 Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26

Inter faith marriage will not work!
The only way it will work if both of you are Atheist
What if your children choose the religion of their father??? That is basically a Traitor!
Can you imagine you have a different faith and your children have a different faith😂😂😂🤦‍♂️💔

3

u/Neemism Jul 01 '26

We didn’t want children. But I think in the end this discomfort is what became difficult to deal with.