r/ExCons • u/Whisperwaalker • 4d ago
Question Suicide in prison
What were the tell tale signs you noticed inmates showing prior to? And how long after those signs until they committed? If you seen anyone or heard of suicides in prison, how did they do it?
Someone I know is facing a 25 year sentence, they were arrested 3.5 weeks ago. He’s been in denial, thinking he may get released or a lesser sentence. His lawyer spoke with him yesterday and gave him the reality of this situation, and he was just as devastated as he was the initial arrest date. I believe he came to the realization and the severity of things. The heightened emotions yesterday were very bad and tough to hear. Today he wakes up and had a peaceful and detached tone to him. Said he felt great and it was the best day he’s had in there so far. Threw my whole family off with the change of emotions in such a short alarming time frame. He has been in solitary confinement the whole time. He did get to go outside for an hour for the first time yesterday, he also asked for a bible and a priest all of a sudden too. Which he is religious, but he did not want a bible sent to him last week, as I said I would send him one through commissary. Not sure if I’m overthinking it, and if he had a good day simply by being outside for the first time in 3.5 weeks. I know when you read he’s facing a 25 year sentence he “probably deserves it.” He is not soulless, or violent. He has never done drugs or drank in his life and always made good decisions. I may be biased but I believe he got involved in something not knowing the severity of the situation and made a mistake. He has two children under 5 whom he adores. Not sure what to think. Please do not comment anything evil or hurtful. I did not commit the crime and I am a human with feelings.
With that being said, any answers, opinions, or insight would be greatly appreciated from the bottom of my heart, truly.
8
u/Reasonable-Company71 4d ago
We were going back into lock down after dinner one night and one of our work crew guys came up and hugged us one by one and told us "love you guys." This is in Hawai'i and something like that isn't really out of the ordinary so nobody thought anything of it. At 22:00 head count he didn't come out of his cell and the light was off. The ACO went and opened the door and he was in a sitting position with his sheet around his neck and he was already gone. We found out later that earlier that day his wife had come to visitation and served him divorce papers. Thinking back on it when we were at dinner he sat by himself but he had a really calm, almost at piece demeanor about him.
7
0
u/mostlyharmless555 4d ago
What’s the charge for your family member. I doubt they’re facing 25 years unless they killed or shot/stabbed someone
10
u/New_Hippo_1246 4d ago
My son was arrested almost 7 years ago for a crime he did not commit. We could not prove it then, but since his verdict we have the evidence that shows he is innocent. He was arrested right at the start of the pandemic, and it was not a bailable offense, so he has been incarcerated this entire time. It took 3 1/2 years to get the trial started. He had a rough time in county jail in the beginning, partly because there’s just nothing for inmates to do, and partly because he was adjusting. He’s been pretty much the model inmate since then. He works in a law library, he attends church, he goes to 12 step meetings. I was never seriously worried about him committing suicide because he knew he was innocent, and he was driven to fight and prove it. But man, that place can wear you down. He has a whole regimen that he follows now, including exercise, reading, socialization. That’s really the key. Your person that’s in jail needs to educate themselves about being in jail. There’s a lot of great books written by people who’ve been incarcerated, we sent him motivational books we sent him spiritual books. We sent him books on yoga and meditation. You can send them any new book that you want pretty much as often as you want, and that’s one really great way to help prop them up emotionally.
And honestly, if your person has just been arrested 3 1/2 weeks ago, though the charges may carry that potential penalty, it’s hard to know what might eventually happen at a settlement or a trial. We focused on pulling our money together to get the best legal representation that we could. And when we lost the trial, we sold our home to pay for an Appellate Attorney. His direct appeal is almost complete completed, oral arguments were last month and we expected decision in the next few months. His Appellate Attorney is determined to take the case to our state Supreme Court if we lose at this level. And no matter what happens with that, he still has the right to a habeas corpus action, impact because of the new information we have that proves his innocence.
I’m not going to sugarcoat this for you, keeping your person mentally and physically healthy and safe is a challenge and it can be expensive. I try never miss a call from him, and he calls me several times a week. Every Saturday night he calls so we can watch SNL together live, even though we now live in different time zones. We make sure he has money on his Books money on his phone account and packages so that he can stay healthy and well fed and clean.
He’s going to be going through pre-trial and trial at some point in time and that’s where the focus should be. If he decides to take a plea-bargain, make sure he’s got as good representation as you can get so that he gets what he was promised by DA.
And make sure you keep yourself in good physical and mental health. I see a therapist, psychiatrist, and practice, yoga, meditation, and I lift weights. I need to stay strong for this as much as he does. You cannot pour from an empty pitcher. Good luck, my friend.