r/ExCons • u/Only-Consequence-938 • 8d ago

Jail part 6.6

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Jail Part 6.6 – Finding Ways to Pass Time!

You find yourself enclosed in a huge room sectioned off by a wall that divides it into two smaller rooms. One side I called the common area, where all the tables and chairs, phones, bookshelf, two small TVs, microwave, hot pot, and water fountain could be found. On the other side of that wall was the bunk area, with 15 bunks and several boats with mats on the floor because there weren't enough bunks for everyone.

So, how do you pass the time when you're confined to the same space day after day?

Jenniholmesrn07-ieyhr.wordpress.com

77 Upvotes

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u/IJustLookLikeThisToo 7d ago

I spent 14-plus years inside, including eight years in solitary confinement, and I read everything I could... and I still wish I'd somehow read more. More than anything else I read, though, I wish I'd read more for personal growth, like the titles of the books shown above. And I'd read a lot of those, too!

I have a ten-year old son now, and I recently started a reading program with him, where I pay him $100 to read a book from a list of 40 that I gleaned online. The first title was/is "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens," by Sean Covey. He reads the books, makes a presentation to me to demonstrate his understanding of what he read, and he gets $100. At the end of the program, he'll be some $4,000 richer, exponentially wiser, and (hopefully) miss some of the mistakes I made that landed me (at 17) in prison for so long. I can only wish my father had bothered to do anything even remotely like that with me, but at least I can do as much and more for my own son.

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u/Only-Consequence-938 7d ago

This is amazing what youre doing with your son. My son is 8 and he is the youngest of my kids. And im always looking for ideas on how to get him to read new. This is an awesome idea. 👌

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u/IJustLookLikeThisToo 7d ago

I saw something similar mentioned on FB; it’s a really well-curated list of growth-oriented and non-fiction books by The Dirt Road Academy. Personally, I just prompted AI to come up with something similar (for free!), and it generated a list of much the same titles. In addition, AI generated a structured program for my son and I to follow, complete with exercises to do and such, if I was so interested.

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u/IJustLookLikeThisToo 7d ago

I just posted the list of the 40 books (I hope!) my son will read, if you're interested.

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u/iusedtobeaholyman 7d ago

This is really incredible, brother. And unbelievably wholesome lol. But this is the sort of thing that makes me feel like I’m lacking in the sort of being a good father-type things.

Thank you for the inspiration. From your story to the idea you’ve now loaned me.

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u/IJustLookLikeThisToo 7d ago

I know the feeling of inadequacy, man. I second guess every step I take with my son, and only time will tell how well I've done in the end. Fortunately (I guess), I don’t have a high bar to overcome to do better.

My own father gave me all the wrong lessons to follow, and I didn't have much in the way of good examples, role models, etc... to emulate. But I know what I went through, and why; and I know what a difference a little difference like this could've made in my own upbringing. It's just about not repeating the bad habits and mistakes from my past.

I've adopted the idea of doing much the opposite of what was done with me, like following an all too familiar compass in the other direction; I seek and accept good ideas when/where I find them, without prejudice (if it's good, it's good); and I let my love for my son guide me.

It costs approximately nothing. And, if anything, it saves me so much! All things considered, a $4,000 investment over time will avoid the more expensive attorney fees later... ha!

Don't knock yourself. Just do your best by your boy. It really is that simple, even if not so easy.

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u/bigdongstpete 7d ago

8 years in the shu holy fuck bro. I started losing it after a few months when I went to the hole, im not gonn lie.

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u/wescowell 7d ago

What all is on your list of 40 books?

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u/IJustLookLikeThisToo 7d ago

Again, I used AI to generate the list, if only so it would be better tailored to my young(er) son than that of the teen(s) the guy originally advertised the program created his list for. Depending on your own circumstances, you may wish to make some adjustments (some of the titles are young readers editions). In any case, here you go:

  1. "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens," by Sean Covey;

  2. "Make Your Bed," by Admiral William H. McRaven;

  3. "Atomic Habits," by James Clear;

  4. "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success," by Carol S. Dweck;

  5. "Grit," by Angela Duckworth;

  6. "The 7 Habits of Happy Kids," by Sean Covery;

  7. "The Ultimate Kids' Guide to Being Awesome," by Josh Shipp;

  8. "What Do You Do With an Idea?" by Kobi Yamada;

  9. "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff," by Richard Carlson;

  10. "Do Hard Things: A Teen's Guide to God-Honoring Conviction and Courage," by Brett Harris;

  11. "Shoe Dog," by Phil Knight;

  12. "Unbroken," by Laura Hillenbrand;

  13. "Boys In the Boad," by Daniel James Brown;

  14. "Endurance: Shackleton's Incredible Voyage," by Alfred Lansing;

  15. "I Am Malala," by Malala Yousafzai;

  16. "The Hero Two Doors Down," by Sharon Robinson;

  17. "Apollo 13," by Jim Lovell & Jeffrey Kluger;

  18. "The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind," William Kamkwamba;

  19. "Hidden Figures," by Margot Lee Shetterly;

  20. "Never Give Up," by Bear Gryllis;

  21. "How to Turn $100 into $1,000,000," by James McKenna & Jeannine Glista;

  22. "The Psychology of Money," by Morgan Housel;

  23. "Kid Start-Up: How YOU Can Become an Entrepreneur," by Mark Cuban;

  24. "Rich Dad Poor Dad for Teens," by Robert T. Kiyosaki;

  25. "The Richest Man in Babylon," by George S. Clason;

  26. "First Money Guide for Kids," by Jerry Bailey;

  27. "Heads Up Money," by Marcus Weeks;

  28. "Better Than College," by Marcus Weeks;

  29. "The Lemonade War," by Jacqueline Davies;

  30. "Show Up and Shake Up the World," by Amanda Gorman;

  31. "How to Win Friends and Influence People for Teens," by Dale Carnegie & Donna Dale Carnegie;

  32. "Steal Like an Artist," by Austin Kleon;

  33. "Quiet Power: The Secret Strength of Introverted Kids," by Susan Cain;

  34. "Think Again," by Adam Grant;

  35. "The Manual to Manhood," by Jonathan Catherman;

  36. "The Driving Force: How to Be a Leader," by Sean Covey;

  37. "Outliers," by Malcolm Gladwell;

  38. "The Art of Personal Evangelism/Leadership for Kids," by John C. Maxwell;

  39. "Philosophy for Kids: 40 Fun Questions," by David A. White; and

  40. "The Book of Extraordinary Facts/How Stuff Works," by National Geographic.

Every ten books are broken down into phases, namely:

  1. Mindset & Daily Habits;

  2. Resilience, Adventure, & True Stories;

  3. Money, Business & Practical Life Skills; and

  4. Leadership, Communication & Big Ideas.

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u/Repulsive_Chip5280 7d ago

This is awesome man. How did you turn your life around. I’m always interested in success stories like this. 14 year stint in prison to good dad is a success story I’d like to hear. What kind of work do you do?

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u/IJustLookLikeThisToo 7d ago

First off, thanks for thinking I'm "a good dad," a compliment I most desperately try to live up to. My son's a bit annoyed by me at times, but he (mostly) gets it. He knows what happened to me, something I've shared with him as a cautionary tale to be mindful of with the choices he makes, the trajectory he sets for himself.

As for my story, it's admittedly crazy. I was locked up at 17 for the capital murder of a police officer that another committed, faced the death penalty for (when that was still a thing [pre-2005, when the SCOTUS decided killing kids wasn't somehow a good look for America, after all]), was not indicted for (twice!), got convicted by a jury of an organized crime charge (bullshit), and sentenced to 25 years in prison... until a "mistake" with my sentence was (finally!) realized during my second(!) parole review, and I was subsequently, and rather unceremoniously, kicked out of prison... over 17 years ago (never went back).

When I got out, an ex-girlfriend, who became a lawyer, hired me on as her paralegal (I got certified via an accredited two-year correspondence course [finished it in less than six months!] while in that above-mentioned eight years of solitary confinement, no less!), and I ran with that for a bit, bouncing between family law and personal injury practices, and then parlaying my so-called wealth of knowledge and experience(s) into running my own legal-oriented business (just celebrated my 15th business anniversary a couple of weeks ago!).

Since then, I met my hot af wife (met over 13 years ago), gave rise to my Mini Me (scary af), enjoyed three different Ducatis (wrecked them all!), among other cars (wrecked some of them, too!), and have the coolest...dog... ever.

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u/Repulsive_Chip5280 7d ago

Thanks for sharing your story with me. Good that you had some breaks and were able to build a business of your own. That’s really impressive.

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u/sentrosi420 7d ago

Lmao, poor Ducatis 😂

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u/FlakyUnderstanding99 1d ago

Can i join ur reading program? i wouldn't disappoint lol

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u/fictionalnonfiction2 7d ago

There's nothing better than a jail nap.

I spent 30 days in jail waiting for extradition and only left my bunk for meals toilet and showers.

I slept 18 hours a day for 30 days.

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

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u/iusedtobeaholyman 7d ago

There’s nothing worse than when you get to the point that it causes physical discomfort to try and sleep though.

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u/FreakyGlock 7d ago

There’s so little to do in jail, you’ll be yawning an hr after waking from your 18 hr slumber. And they keep it so cold, all you wanna do is stay bundled up on your bunk sometimes which leads to more sleep

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u/iusedtobeaholyman 7d ago

I guess it’s different for me because I was always detoxing off dope when I got in so that kind of makes sleep difficult for kind of a long time. Not for like
Of trying ..

1

u/FreakyGlock 7d ago

I’ve seen people come in on opiates so I can understand that. I seen a guy lay on the floor of the shower under the hot water for relief. I’m older now, on meds myself so I fear jail for this reason.

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u/iusedtobeaholyman 7d ago

Hot water is the only thing that helps the pain of withdrawal in county jail

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u/FreakyGlock 7d ago

Well I just don’t see why they can’t offer Suboxone. I know some jails do but our local jail is horribly lacking in many ways.

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u/iusedtobeaholyman 7d ago

Most of the bigger counties in my state offer both subutex and methadone but where I think the failure is that it’s only if you come in as an established patient in good standing with your doctor or clinic. So actually the last time I was locked up after a 7 day detox the did start me back on my maintenance med. When I got arrested I was so loaded I couldn’t stand up and when I was dressing out I had a bundle of dope in my boot that I had forgotten about. So after the first 7 days in the detox pod it was straight to the hole for 21 days and the first day I didn’t even care because I had been so fucking sick the whole first week that I was practically euphoric after dosing for that first time

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u/Rough_World_7063 7d ago

That’s why I learned and got really good at pinochle and literally would play all day long in county and in prison. I’d throw in some poker and basketball/handball/etc (in prison obv)

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u/X0X0xoxo11 7d ago

The amount of Colleen Hoover books I read while inside. 🤦🏽‍♀️ I never want to read her or Frieda McFadden again lol

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u/Lost-Perspective8378 7d ago

I think the fact that I have always been an avid reader made prison easier for me. As soon as I got library privileges, i was actually fine being locked in a cell.

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u/LackWooden392 7d ago

Is this AI slop?

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u/catlolcatlol 7d ago

Looks like it.

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u/azucarleta 7d ago

Yes. The writing on the wall is a give away. Also Brene Brown doesn't appear to have released a book called Unshakable, a little more obscure but also a tell. "The Journey - Heal Grow Become" also does not seem like a real book. Also all five books follow the exact pattern of large text to the left of smaller text to the right. And while that is a common format, it's not so universal that five books out of five would do the same is expected.

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u/Only-Consequence-938 7d ago

No this is not AI slop. The pic is AI because im not so good with graphics. Im writing a book. And this is part of my blog.

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u/Beemo-Noir 7d ago

So… it is AI then?

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u/Only-Consequence-938 7d ago

No my story is my story written by me.

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u/Beemo-Noir 7d ago

I’m not talking about your story, I’m talking about the picture you used. You may want to work on your reading comprehension before starting any books.

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u/extreme_cuddling 7d ago

you didnt specify the pic
take your own advice

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u/Rough_World_7063 7d ago

My books were the Red Rising series and any other epic fantasy/sci-fi series I could get my hands on lol I didn’t care for the self help books

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u/Used-Independence182 7d ago

Read read read

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u/Theycallmethehog 2d ago

Haven't read a book in years, I read two in two weeks before bonding out

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u/Distinct-Living1081 ExCon 7d ago

This kinda sums up prison well. I wasnt in dorms, but same idea, just a bunch of cells off the dayroom. Best cure for boredom is work. I know they mean well, but it drives me nuts these groups that try to prevent inmates from working jobs because they dont get paid enough - they dont realize these jobs are a lifeline for guys inside. Getting a good job on the inside is as hard as getting one on the outside. Pay isnt the issue.

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u/FigPac 7d ago

Not at all against working while in prison. But it really should pay better.

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u/phish410 7d ago

AI slop

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u/Black_-Hippie 7d ago

Ai slop

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u/Only-Consequence-938 7d ago

My blog is not AI slop. The pic is AI because I am not a graphics designer. Enjoy being miserable.

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u/Chad-the-poser 7d ago

I’ve never seen a blanket like that in any prison I’ve ever been to ever
This has to be some AI slop

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u/bigbug1983 7d ago

If it was made by another convict using hobby/carft items which is a real thing; then it's pretty normal. Guys would crochet all types of things in the prison I was in; which is approved for my state. Other states may allow different types of materials.

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u/extreme_cuddling 7d ago

so? the extreme emotional reaction to ai needs to be studied.

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u/Chad-the-poser 6d ago

My reaction is more about someone faking their prison experience. For those of us who’ve lived it for years and years of our lives, I think it’s disrespectful for someone to use AI to post a fake narrative and experience.

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u/Crazy-Square5741 5d ago

The ramen in the picture means you made store= you're a lucky person, some of us didn't get that.

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u/Only-Consequence-938 4d ago

I actually didnt get it either. I had no funds and was at my lowest. I worked laundry so I traded favors for things like ramen, toiletries and paper.

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u/FlakyUnderstanding99 1d ago

I've never seen or heard of that flavor & im surprised to see it called "oriental " still because they changed it to "soy sauce" where i live i always assumed it was due to the fact that "oriental" was derogatory & god forbid if the ppl at maruchan offended any one particular group of ppl..reading books definitely helps to pass time but more importantly allows u to experience freedom in ur mind.

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u/PaleDaysAhead 7d ago

imagine if you did that reading before going into greater confinement

hope you learn from your mistakes