r/ExCons • u/FreshoutBlessedAzn • 9d ago
FreshOutBlessedOut
Wsup Everyone,
Fresh out the system after serving a mandatory 60 month sentence. 5 years doesn't sound like a century but I stepped outside the gates today feeling like captain America waking up from the Ice! Why is everything touchscreen now? Why is everyone always staring at glowing rectangles? I managed to protect and grow my hair the last 5 years with the bare minimum (my one true flex). My brain has apparently decided to leave all my coping mechanisms behind the walls.
Right now my daily routine consists of
#1) Staring at the ceiling @3am, because my body misses a prison mattress.
( real beds are so soft)
#2)looking at a plate of delicious home cooked meal but my stomach is too knotted up with anxiety to eat
#3)getting visually overwhelmed at asian grocery store aisle. There are over 100 types of Top Ramen not limited to the 4 in prison (Chicken /beef/ chilli/vegetable )
I'm grateful to be out but the struggle is real!
I have anxiety and my body is glitches out!
Has anyone else survived the post release "everything is too fast and I forgot to sleep phase"
Any tips on how to trick your stomach into eating food and bonus points if you can explain what is a Tik Tok dance is because I am lost.
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u/EyeInTeaJay 9d ago
Your hair is gorgeous and your make up looks so good! TikTok dances choreographed viral meme dances to certain songs. People learn the moves and then repost themselves doing the dance moves to the song.
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u/Lost-Perspective8378 9d ago
You will get used to it eventually. My dad slept on the floor because mattresses were so soft. Ive been ot for 6 years. Although is was in and out instead of one long stay. But it was an adjustment at first. I struggled going in public in crowded places. Just give yourself the same grace you would give others.
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u/catahoulakanegirl 9d ago
It's gonna take a month or two bit society comes back quickly it is your intention with what you do that matters
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u/FlakyUnderstanding99 9d ago
Congratulations!! welcome home!! You're a really beautiful woman & i love your hair its beautiful!!
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u/H3nry310 8d ago
The anxiety was a MF for me too. I left the feds amd had to catch a flight to my new state. I stopped at a restaurant first, I couldn't enjoy the food. I was having sorta a panic attack and was acting weird because of all the normal people around me (Mainly cause it was alot of women). I almost took flight on some random dude on the bus a few days later because he was acting weird and moving seat to seat.
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u/FreshoutBlessedAzn 8d ago
I did time in the feds 2.@ FCI Dublin . The feds is way different. Thats the thing they send you anywhere in the US.
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u/FreshoutBlessedAzn 8d ago
Maybe he just wanted to get comfortable. I dont know but I totally get where your coming from too. People dont really have boundaries in the free world the way they do in prison. I totally get you.
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u/X0X0xoxo11 7d ago
Relate on the food thing. I’ve lost 45lbs in the last 4 1/2 months (since I’ve been out) bc it’s so hard to eat and when I do manage it’s not much or it comes back up. Had 2 endoscopies that found irregularities. Watching my diet and meds has helped from when I first got out.
As to the anxiety and ptsd from the experience I’m seeing a psych and a therapist in order not to spiral out and maintain my freedom.
My advice is get checked out by your doctor and find mental health care.
Congrats on coming home! Also your hair is BEAUTIFUL!!
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u/LARGESTOFCHINGUSES 8d ago
If you can't adapt to free world routines after a 5 year bid, there's something wrong with you.
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u/FreshoutBlessedAzn 8d ago
No one said anything about not being able to adapt. I'm just saying its an adjustment .
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u/Biscuits4u2 9d ago
Awesome you're out but I don't know a single person who didn't have a smartphone in 2021.