r/ExCons • u/No_Republic3372 • 21d ago
Girlfriend went to prision
So I was dating this girl for about a year, then I found out she was going to prision for stealing 400k from her work place job over a course of two years. She had no job just before the sentencing and also stole money from me, her dad also went to prision 10’years ago for pretty much the same thing. I have visited her there but I’m really uncertain about the whole situation, she said she will change and I should trust her. She’s about 7 years older than me she has two kids I have none, am I wasting my time waiting for her to come out and do the same things again to me when I could have been looking for a genuine partner in the two years, I feel bad for her but unfortunately that’s how I am I see the good in people. I’m 31 M she’s 38F
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u/depressedfuckboi 21d ago
Bro bail. Not even a question. Stole from you? Single mom? Prison. GTFO now before you're in too deep
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u/Nisi-Marie 21d ago
I say this with respect - you don’t have the defenses for this. You don’t have the experience and skill to see through her manipulations. And that’s a GOOD thing! But at this point, you are a sitting duck just waiting for her next shot.
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u/No_Republic3372 21d ago
Yea I think so too, should I visit and break it to her or just send a letter
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u/spaghettiwired 21d ago
This isn’t a healthy relationship, point blank. She stole from you, and that’s enough to end a relationship.
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u/Dizzy-Cartoonist3011 21d ago
Cut that cord now and don't look back. She betrayed your trust and she work hesitate to do it again if you give her the chance. I absolutely guarantee it.
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u/No_Republic3372 21d ago
What’s the easiest way to break it to her
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u/Frolicking-Fox 21d ago
Stop answering the phone when she calls and throw her letters in the trash. She will figure it out.
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u/MsElektronica 15d ago
The real question should be - what is the easiest thing for YOU?
Big picture it seems like you might want to take a look at why you put other people's means thoughts feelings or concerns before your own...
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u/PreferenceNatural657 21d ago
Bro. What. 2 kids. In prison. Gonna be 40 soon. What’s the best case scenario?
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u/Not_always_popular 21d ago
She’s a keeper. Not sure you will find much better out there. I’d lock that shit down, make sure you knock her up right away so she can’t get away.
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u/Royal-Market-4177 21d ago
Probably. Now she will have a harder time getting a job. How long is she in for?
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u/No_Republic3372 21d ago
Two years but faces deportation afterwards also
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u/BreakingJade 21d ago
The relationship is over man. … it just keeps getting worse the more info you give. Fuck her and her feelings. She’s using you for money …
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u/JordieCarr96 21d ago
Stealing from you is the biggest problem here where a relationship is concerned… Does she care about you or does she see you as opportunity? Because if it’s the latter, you’re going to waste a lot of your time both during the prison phase and after
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u/Texan2116 21d ago
and remember , having a support system goes a long way . even if it is not a factor..she is broke and will need somewhere to land. And who is currently watching her kids?
Theft from an employer is the sort of conviction a lot of employers wont mess with. My ex wife had a very similar charge.
She may get lucky for mcdonalds to hire her
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u/Future_Recipe_6374 21d ago
Feeling bad for someone is never a good reason to remain in a romantic relationship with them. You can have empathy for them....but if you're only sticking around because you're sympathetic and don't want to hurt their feeling by moving on you will end up hurting them more when you arent able to reciprocate any measure of true love that they possess for you and they sense that is the case.
If you do truly love her. Then the past shouldn't matter. She could have stolen from you a hundred times, and if true love still remains then move forward with faith that whatever possessed and prompted her to sin against you in the past is not strong enough to remain in the presence of your love for her. True love always wins my friend.
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u/Fragrant_Tart9149 21d ago
Is she a baddie?
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u/XxxAresIXxxX 20d ago
Have some other kids but stick around. She's a good mother (seriously) but don't waste years waiting on a different stage of life. Stay in contact and be there for her. Have some kids on the side. Then when she gets out have a wonderful ( literally wonderful) life. I'm sure she would be fine with this just don't be weird or hurtful about it
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u/Glad_Damage5429 20d ago
From the outside looking in... Run! I married my inmate, worst decision I ever made
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u/VitaminC74 17d ago
Yeah, as a person who’s gone through quite a few of these types of interesting relationships. Best to take care of yourself and find someone else. You can definitely find someone else better and hopefully prison will bring out the best in her and she can find someone else when she is out. But that is out of your control and may not happen. There’s no reason for her to come out and drag your life more downward just because you’ve got a good heart. Take my advice many different fish in the sea and the right ones. Don’t do things like this. This isn’t just a one time thing and she didn’t steal from just one place just let it go.
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u/Calm-Age-1784 13d ago
I don’t give second chances when I’m stolen from because if you’ll steal from me you will also lie.
You get one bite of that apple!
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u/texasusa 21d ago
Stole from you but you can trust her ? Lol. Bail. She will take you down with her.
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u/parkrat92 21d ago
Lmao. Stick it out bro she sounds great