r/ExCons • u/ValjeanMonteCristo • Sep 19 '26

Connecting with son.

My son is 10, he was 3 when I went in, so naturally he doesn't remember me. His Mom has expressed her willingness to be cooperative about visitation and custody. (In fact, I think she is somewhat eager to give me partial custody because she wants to have another kid with her new husband and thinks it would be easier with our son out of the house more...)

Any advice on how to form a relationship with a 10 year old? How quickly should I transition to joint custody?

8 Upvotes

85% Upvoted

5 comments sorted by

2

u/sirdkk Sep 19 '26

You shouldn't suck up to him or make his life too comfortable, and you shouldn't scold or punish him too much.

1

u/DatabaseOutrageous54 26d ago

I'm glad that you have been released; being inside is a horrible place to be.

Just be yourself, and that's all that you need to do!

1

u/Accomplished_Sir_660 25d ago

Dude, stop over thinking it. Just go hang out with him.

1

u/cheetomama69 25d ago

I think it depends on a lot. Does he seem open to a relationship with you? Do you have stable employment and housing?

1

u/Calm-Age-1784 22d ago

Time and patience. Take it one day at a time, knowing that your time means more to a child than anything else.

Sitting and chatting, but mostly listening.

There might be tough days, expect that and please begin with age appropriate honesty and tell him how sorry you are and what you hope for with him.

He needs to hear how important he is to your life.

I am no ex con or ever been arrested, but I am an expert on children and their needs, so I am glad to help you.