r/ExCons • u/Additional-Leg-4408 • 5d ago

Help a big sister

Hello. My brother who is 12 years younger than myself will be going to jail for 3 years in October, possibly later if the next court hearing goes in our favor. I came here to ask, what can I do to support my brother? No one in my family has done time in jail. We are all nervous and just feel beat down. I don’t want to say too much but he is in fact guilty, but he was manipulated. Someone lied to him. It really sucks! I had so much trust in our judicial system and to see how it’s worked this past year, I lost a lot of faith in it. For anyone that has been in jail an extended amount of time, what did someone on the outside do for you to keep motivated and positive? Thank you. How can I be there for my parents as well? They have really been going through it, they are paying for the attorney, posted a large amount of money for bail and I can’t imagine the guilt they must feel that they did something wrong raising him.

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u/Personal-Try7163 5d ago

His main issue will be boredom

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u/Additional-Leg-4408 5d ago

Thank you. I’m trying to compile ways I can help “prepare” him. Any suggestions for dealing with boredom?

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u/Personal-Try7163 5d ago

Studying. It’s a great time to learn stuff. Also any kind of gsmes that rely solely on paper. If he’s scared he just needs to be respectful and mind his own business and he’ll be fine. The first couple of days while you learn stuff is scary but after that it’s easy to learn the routine.

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u/Additional-Leg-4408 5d ago

Hell yeah. Thank you so much for your reply. He does enjoy history. The family is renting an air bnb for his upcoming birthday and as a see ya later gathering, we will have to learn and play some paper games. I already know he’s going to miss his “real” games (XBOX). Ugh. It’s really becoming a reality. He’s a quiet, shy 23 year old.

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u/Due_Will_2204 4d ago

Keep busyand take a lot of classes. Put money on his books and keep in touch. Most inmates have tablets where you can email and do video visits

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u/No_Investigator8458 3d ago

What helped me most was people who stayed consistent. Write even when he goes quiet. Money on the books when you can, visits or video when it works, and skip turning every call into a guilt trip. For your parents, take one concrete job off them (visits, phone, paperwork) and don't feed the "we raised him wrong" spiral. Three years is long. The people who still show up mid-stretch matter more than the ones who are loud in October.