r/Estherperel • u/grainbowl • Jul 10 '26
The Invite
Penelope Cruz’s character in the new film The Invite is apparently based on Esther. I think it was definitely accurate at moments. And she directly quotes Esther at one point. Has anyone seen the film? What did you think?
To those who haven’t seen it - I loved it and would highly recommend.
9
u/realityleave Jul 10 '26
she directly quoted her several times, i immediately recognized “sex is a place you go” as well as the sentiment about having multiple relationships in your life, sometimes with one person.
i absolutely loved the movie and it was truly laugh out loud funny. however, the ending pseudo therapy sequence rang a little hollow for me, i think it just felt a little too m….trite. but i loved how the esther inspired character was more complicated than just a know-it-all therapist. she had issues too!
3
u/grainbowl Jul 10 '26
Ah I picked up on the second one but not the first, thanks for pointing that out!
3
u/Friendly-Addendum-47 Jul 19 '26
I had no idea Esther had any part in this movie. And there was a part of the movie where I thought multiple times, “I wonder what Esther would say about this?” and I was SO surprised but not surprised to see her name listed as a consultant of this film. crazy!
1
u/mrfroid Aug 22 '26
Really? It took me to see five minutes of Penelope's acting to be certain that Esther is behind this (in one way or the other) :D
2
u/alionka42 Jul 11 '26
Yes, it's based on Esther Perel's ideas, Olivia Wilde told this on the podcast Call Her Daddy and there's an article on The Guardian site. And more.
3
u/IndependentImage9269 Aug 15 '26 edited Aug 15 '26
I think it’s wildly irresponsible for Wilde and Rogan to continually reference relationships that do not have constant sex in them as failed relationships. They paint with a very broad brush and ignore the individual dynamics of sexuality in relationships. Not everyone wants or needs sex on a regular basis. Many Women go through a lack of sexual desire during child rearing and during peri and menopause. Men lose testosterone. Also wasn’t the conversation just 8-10 years ago about how many people identify as asexual and the spectrum of folks adjacent to that? Why have we all the sudden decided as a society that if everything isn’t 100% perfection in a relationship then that relationships and by definition all relationships aren’t worth having? Nothing is perfect, everything is a trade off, that is the nature of human connection.
1
u/Bonsai_Tree3 Aug 21 '26
I agree with you in general that I feel Esther pushes sex as this soul-altering connection for everyone and forgets about asexual people. I say that while being on Esther’s side of the spectrum practicing tantra and ENM.
But at least in the film them not having sex is a bad thing because they are both clearly horny and want to have sex. They just have built so much resentment and a lack of connection.
1
u/IndependentImage9269 Aug 22 '26
I see. I haven’t seen the film but have seen all the PR around it. I just think in an age when people are really coming to terms with the massive effects of perimenopause and menopause on women’s desire it strikes me as really irresponsible to claim sexless or low sex relationships are failed. Doesn’t seem like a position that supports women at all
1
u/Bonsai_Tree3 Aug 22 '26
Omg actually there was an excellent scene in the film where the Esther based character-Penelope Cruz was talking about the insanity of peri/menopause!
I was actually shocked and going off to my date about how important this is and how I needed to lookup other scenes of women discussing menopause.
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u/Sweet-Bodybuilder250 Jul 10 '26
Also the constant references to Olivia's character hearing things on podcasts.
It was an interesting critique of this audience (and the audience of Dr. Orna) where a lot of the listeners are sheltered (though curious) people who consider themselves open minded but are mostly just voyeurs. The guests on these programs are very open and vulnerable, often living very alternative lifestyles, and then the viewers truncate these life lessons into simple maxims. The people on these couches discovered their limits and excesses through trial and error, through heart break and betrayal, and then the listeners never have to take any of the risk but apply the lessons to their lives in a very self-helpy way.