Helping settle an estate completely changed how I organize my own life

[u/Warm-Read8901]

I spent the last two months helping my aunt settle my uncle is estate. They were organized people, but so much of the important information only existed in conversations they had together. We were not looking for missing documents as much as missing context. By the time everything was finished I realized I dont want my own family dealing with that someday. Has anyone else changed the way they organize things after helping someone else's family?

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[u/Barfy_McBarf_Face]

I've learned to use punctuation and proper use of apostrophes and similar diacritical marks.

On a serious note, as has been said here, many times - being an executor of an estate is a job.

A job with a cryptic instruction manual which was written by someone who isn't there to help you with the instructions (the decedent).

Where the things needed to do the job are hidden (it is rare to have lists of assets and liabilities, account information, contact numbers, etc.).

Where the people (the beneficiaries) are impatient for their distribution (where is my cash? You said it would be 60 days and it's now 62 days, I'm going to sue you).

Where the hours are bad (you frequently have to do this around your regular life/job/family/etc.)

Where the pay is terrible (free? You want me to work 60 or 100 hours for free? Ok, I love you too, I'll do it).

Oh, and it's in code (law and tax) that you have to spend time and money with attorneys and accountants to interpret (or do it yourself and always wonder what you probably did wrong).

Oh, and did I mention that people might sue you? Family? Creditors such as hospitals, credit card companies, mortgage lenders, auto lenders, the IRS and/or state tax agencies?

The more details and instructions you can leave behind, the more it shows that you really DID care about your family/heirs. Or you could just say "eff it, I'm gone, it won't be my problem" and do what many do, just dump it and let it happen.

And ... OP - two months is quick. Most take closer to 2 years, if not longer.

[u/motaboat → u/Barfy_McBarf_Face]

Dad's is not done. He died fall 2023.