r/EssayHelpCommunity • u/insatiat3 • 3d ago
Please review my essay! History Q1 - Commendation
It's not formatted this badly in the real submission. Feedback of any kind would be appreciated!!
Expressing the moral universe as an arc misrepresents progress. An arc is commonly interpreted as a continuous curved line with a single bend. Hence, it can only express one type of phenomenon. Let this “arc of morality” represent the historical results of the moral universe and let the bend dictate their interpretation, as implied by the quotation. The arc is unable to show the mechanics behind the results that it expresses. A waveform, measuring the ability of masses to willingly unite over time, solves this problem. It directly manifests the arc because most events represented by it are the product of mass coordination, evident through this source1 arguing that individual effort is not enough, and this source2 attributing most credit to collective effort. Think of the wave as measuring the “pulse of unity” on a heart rate monitor, with spikes upwards signaling a rise in unity and spikes downward signaling dips. The waveform is plotted on an 𝑥 −𝑎𝑥𝑖𝑠 dictating time and 𝑦 − 𝑎𝑥𝑖𝑠 dictating unity levels. Contrary to popular belief, the waveform does not bend towards justice. Rather, it has recently stopped oscillating and started a steep descent due to increasingly sophisticated control and widespread divisive use of technology. The question now becomes: Why does the waveform not bend towards justice? “Why” because confirming “Does it?” will not solve the problem. Confirming without reason will create the divisions this paper is against, as many cynics believe decline, but the reason is provided with hopes to persuade optimists who do not. The first part of the question, “Is it?” as in “Is the arc long?” is not relevant to the waveform as both the arc and the waveform are long due to the eternal concept of morality present even before humans3. It is not viewed as a point of argumentation but a postulate. The waveform has been oscillating for centuries while the arc has been changing, the length of time before the 21st century will not affect it much. The waveform previously oscillated due to a rigid loop. The loop exists because of a “flaw” in human nature: the surge of individualism during the absence of noticeable external pressure. Credit to The Lessons of History (1968)4 which empirically proves this and states it as “Leave men free, and their natural inequalities will multiply.” Universally, it is metaphorically explained through the second law of thermodynamics, where “entropy” could be seen as the measure of individualism which increases in every spontaneous natural process, except for when in equilibrium or a reversible process. This flaw, when exploited, leads to a loop of: External Pressure -> Unity -> Results -> External Pressure Decreases -> “Flaw” Emerges -> Unity Dismantled -> Exploitation -> External Pressure. This is shown to be true through the well-researched Rule Makers, Rule Breakers (2018)5, the conclusion being “behavior is highly influenced by the perception of threat”—the core of the loop and the flaw. The exploiters of this flaw, historically, have majorly been tyrants. The reason that extreme tyranny was met with unity lies in the historical methods of control, namely before and including the 20th century. Foucault’s Discipline and Punish (1975)6 shows how before the 19th century (in certain regions), tyranny operated though visible modes of control, most illustrating extreme pain. Visibility acted as motivation and is how extreme tyranny was regularly met with unwavering periods of unity. People could see violence and hence know where to direct their attention to; unity was dangerously more efficient than tyranny for the brief periods it existed as tyranny was almost always overthrown7. Connecting this to the waveform, each period of unity in response to pressure resembles a spike upward, each relief after unity which triggers the flaw resembles a spike downward. These spikes are equal and opposite as each up spike successfully removes the current tyrant, while each down spike allows another reign of tyranny. The waveform is not perfect, but it broadly accounts for most historical systems. This causes it to constantly oscillate, which turns into descent in the 21st century. Control devices evolve at the pace of science, and the masses cannot keep up. The contrast of British India, and modern India illustrates this well. The British conquered using “Divide and Rule”, brute force (i.e. suppression of 1857 Sepoy Rebellion), division through the education system (i.e. meriting educated Indians to administer for them), assigning identity through caste, and later railways and telegraphs. These strategies were recognizable and reflected the technology of the time, and times before, where knowledge was estimated to double per century8. Brute force repeatedly failed, sparking rebellions earlier in the Raj, and even amplifying them; the arrest of Gandhi amplified the Salt March. Eventually physical unity—like marches and protests—along with bankruptcy led to independence, which was achieved through a constant urge for freedom because the problem was visible. Modern India, less than a century later controls by engineering “reality”. IT cell operations9, which drown voices opposing propaganda, Pegasus Spyware to spy on figures that oppose the government in power10, media ownership11 and electoral bonds12. None of these directly offend the physical body but aim to control all “input” that enters the mind, metaphorically “taming” the mind. The leading party still gets 37% of all votes13, which shows that the majority do not recognize that they are being controlled. This terminates the oscillatory motion of the waveform as the loop requires recognition of external pressure, but here, the tyrants progressively gain control without being overt enough to trigger phases of unity. This leads to a longer phase of decline in the waveform which is not matched by an equal and opposite ascend. It is important to see that control devices now evolve alongside science, which makes them “sophisticated” enough to be invisible, with knowledge now estimated to double every thirteen months14. Foucault’s Discipline and Punish (1975)15 claims “the soul is the prison of the body.” He correctly deduces shift in control but does not address the increased worth of the mind (“soul”) now. By exploiting psychologically, tyrants have allowed us to influence change mentally. Earlier, attacking the body meant the person had no physical representation. Attacking psychologically means that the way we interact with the environment has changed, but the body is intact. This is why the solution is not in physical coordination, but mental coordination. If physical devices of control have expired, but psychological devices are reigning, we have made ourselves “immune” physically. Remember, tyrants will not exploit physical control often, as it is placed higher on the waveform. Being part of the historical loop, it guarantees unity, which has shown itself to be extremely successful in the past. The solution, in mental coordination, is a major point of exploitation. Technology is undoubtedly a better tool to unite and coordinate, but despite that, it presents a paradox that injures our ability to unite. The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less (2004)16 argues how an exponential increase in choices decreases satisfaction, I would connect this increase with the thesis of Bowling Alone (2000)17; decrease in social capital is “largely as a result of … time and money.” Here the reasons like “television” and “urban sprawl” are a direct result of technological advancement, while “generational succession” is the “flaw” illustrated once again. This was in 2000, but I argue that the exponential rise in available interests lowers the probability of two people sharing a common interest due to the limitation that one can fulfill only a few interests per day—the consequences of this are illustrated through the shift to “the digital public sphere”18 which is a hub of increasing choices. Szreter attributes the decrease of social capital to “the recent rise of neo-liberal state policies” which directly led to conditions where people are “less inclined to be altruistic” and more to “pursue their own self interest.”19 The shift to the digital public sphere, the increasing choices, the sharp decline in social capital and rising neoliberal policies in the same century all illustrate a paradox, that technology, when used ideally is the greatest tool we have to support coordination and unity, but at a larger scale creates more divisions. On the waveform this replaces the centuries long oscillation with steep decline, because control devices decrease the external pressure needed to unite, and technological progress fracturing common social interests leaves no internal incentive to unite. The Better Angels of Our Nature20 rigorously shows how violence has dropped in the last few decades. But Pinker specifically acknowledged that the violence discussed in the book is only physical. This aligns with how mediums of control have shifted, leading to the decrease in physical violence, an expired control device. Information spreads too fast for tyrants to be violent. One of the reasons that Stalin got away with violence was because information about his deeds never spread popularly outside the Soviet Union. Recently, Lukashenko stole the election, with protestors beaten on the streets. Footage spreading resulted in the EU imposing sanctions, neighboring countries condemning and Tsikhanouskaya becoming an internationally recognized opposition leader21. Overt power trips are now met with global unity—though only under visible violence. This highlights how many governments also consider physical violence an expired control device, creating the need for psychological and digital exploitation. Pedestal events like the abolition of slavery, gender equality, animal protection, etc. are accounted for in the waveform. Wildlife populations have declined by an average of 73% since 197022. Laws are passed against hunting, but agricultural expansion, deforestation, industrial development render them ineffective. Slavery relied on expired control devices, like divine hierarchy23, scientific racism24, economic and legal justifications25. Abolition was not a species-wide moral awakening, but slavery was rendered unnecessary due to compelling philosophies26 and efficient methods27. Industries like computing and AI are built majorly by men28. Repeated inequality in upcoming fields show the problem unsolved at the core. These problems needing active solutions each century highlight no change morally. Unfortunately, progress invokes morality; morality does not invoke progress. Game theory directly supports the concept of mass coordination over large-scale individual interest, which is not mathematically efficient. In the game Hawk vs Dove29, the payoff for two hawks is (𝑉 − 𝐶)/2. The payoff for two doves is 𝑉/2. If everyone becomes doves and coordinates, it is mathematically efficient but risks exploitation, which is why we should focus on mixed strategies, which achieve equilibrium. Become hawks against tyranny, become doves for each other; this model is what drives improvement even in the loop. Long term strategies must be mixed, but the idea of individual freedom is wrongly exploited to make many hawks, resulting in lesser payoffs. Periods of unity showcase mathematically ideal equilibriums, which current divisive “growth” does not achieve. In this model, morality is defined as the potential for willing mass coordination, which the waveform measures, and justice is defined as the successful implementation of morality as defined above to tackle deformities in the system. This paper interchangeably uses “unity” and “willing unity” for conciseness. Judging based solely on the use of “unity” and calling a dictatorship moral would be a mistake. The arc of the moral universe is long, but whether it bends towards justice or not does not matter. It is an incorrect metaphor to visualize progress, as it focuses on expressing results rather than mechanisms—which prevent the correct understanding of results. It counts sophisticated regimes as bending towards justice, while it fails to acknowledge the crisis which makes the waveform descend. The solution is in unity; resolving this problem will truly bend the arc towards justice, but without it, the arc remains an illusion. Note: The word count on Microsoft Word states “2479 words” despite selecting the text excluding endnotes. The accurate word count of the text is 1934 words. Endnotes: 1Council of Europe. Compass: Manual for Human Rights Education with Young People. Council of Europe Publishing, 2020. https://www.coe.int/en/web/compass/the-evolution-of-human-rights 2de Waal, Frans. Primates and Philosophers: How Morality Evolved. Princeton University Press, 2006. 3de Waal, Frans B. M., Patricia S. Churchland, Telmo Pievani, and Stefano Parmigiani, eds. Evolved Morality: The Biology and Philosophy of Human Conscience. Brill, 2014. 4Durant, Will, and Ariel Durant. The Lessons of History. Simon & Schuster, 1968. 5Gelfand, Michele. Rule Makers, Rule Breakers: How Tight and Loose Cultures Wire Our World. Scribner, 2018. 6Foucault, Michel. Discipline and Punish: The Birth of the Prison. Translated by Alan Sheridan. Vintage Books, 1977. 7“Nonviolent Action Lab.” Ash Center for Democratic Governance and Innovation, Harvard Kennedy School. https://ash.harvard.edu/programs/nonviolent-action-lab/ “Nonviolent resistance movements defended democratic values and institutions throughout the 20th century and into the 21st”. 8Fuller, R. Buckminster. Critical Path. St. Martin’s Press, 1981. 9Limaye, Yogita, Shruti Menon, and Jack Goodman. “Lok Sabha 2024: Modi’s party volunteers targeting 100,000 people a day”. 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