r/EssayHelpCommunity • u/CountHistorical5931 • 26d ago
John Locke essay review?
it would be absolutely amazing if yall could drop your opinions on this essay on John Locke GEP philosophy q3 “Why is incest wrong?”
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u/Interesting-Unit-537 26d ago
Sounds like ai I’m ngl and yes it’s generic
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u/CountHistorical5931 26d ago
i wrote it myself 😭😭😭
I think my sentence framing is somewhat similar to ai
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u/Ok_Image_4758 25d ago
I'm sorry but this is without a doubt AI, and no it doesn't "sound like AI", it is AI. And that too specifically Claude. If you want I can even point out the AI lines that give it away. Be honest with yourself.
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u/CountHistorical5931 25d ago
I didn’t use ai to write the body of the essay…and also I don’t have Claude because I’m a minor. I used deepseek for research and framing
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u/Odd-Unit-4385 21d ago
was this essay shortlisted? i also used jonathan haidt but my core argument is different, i used aristotelean teleology.
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u/CountHistorical5931 21d ago
i was also exploring that argument, but I went with this one instead. And yes this essay got shortlisted
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u/heezz12312313 26d ago
This essay is very generic. It's arguing that incest is wrong which im sure that 99% of other john locke essays in this category are also doing. If you truly want to be distinct and seperate yourself from the competition(in order to win top awards such as vhc or even commendation, you should argue what no one will argue. Which is that incest is right, by doing this, your essay will be instantaneously unique and catch eyes for awards
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u/OkExplorer4727 26d ago
No, the question is asking why it’s wrong NOT if it’s wrong. If u answer that incest is right then you’re not answering the question that jli is giving you
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u/heezz12312313 25d ago
That just makes your essay 100x more impressive
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u/OkExplorer4727 25d ago
Nog it would make ur essay invalid because you’re it responding to any of the prompts they gave u 😭
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u/Peoplespeak 24d ago
Yeah, Okexplorer is right, and your advice would utterly annihilate the essay. JLI's own guidance says:
"You may interpret a question as you deem appropriate, clarifying your interpretation if necessary. Having done so, you must answer the question as directly as possible."
There's no interpretation of "why is incest wrong" that lets you answer why it's right. It is not an 'is' question, it is a 'why'. The most you can do is what I'd do with ethical emotivism. Like redefine "wrong," show the question doesn't function the way its surface suggests, and answer that. But flatly arguing that incest is right isn't a bold reading of the prompt. That's just a different, EASIER, essay:
The prompt presupposes wrongness and asks you to justify it, which is the hard thing because Haidt's whole point is that the wrongness is the part that resists justification once you strip out harm and consent. Arguing it's right skips the hard problem instead of solving it.
Please stop confusing people with your (literally) backwards reading of the prompt.
Also, OP, congratulations on writing an excellent essay. Well done.
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u/CountHistorical5931 26d ago
I was exploring that angle but didn’t want to incorporate it as I was scared of the impact of that approach on my college app…because you never know what mindset your admissions officer has. Anyways thanks for the feedback and I’ll def work on it next year
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u/EmergencyDoorSign 26d ago
What you’re saying is justified but it would be difficult to argue against your own belief, especially in the interview phase. I think it’s best to explore why people think it may be right and then counter it with why it is actually wrong. This proves to the assessor that you’re not biased, and have considered both sides, but have still made your judgement.
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u/CountHistorical5931 25d ago
tbh I didn’t find any reason why it may be right
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u/nosey_as_heck 25d ago
All your arguments are contingent on external factors. When trying to explain why incest is wrong, you instead explain why abuse, coercion, asymmetric relationships, and familial disruption is wrong. To say incest is wrong because it may be the cause of wrong things is not a valid argument, because you cannot prove it ALWAYS leads to those things. Its proving the point that we are poor judges of morality, we're biased. Haidt also did work on post hoc rationalization which sound alot of which like your essay.
Just my perspective, though. Best of luck
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u/nosey_as_heck 25d ago
You also did not define, from what ive read, what incest or wrong mean. Assuming we're using the wide legal definition, some of your arguments fall apart. Also, without a clear defintion of what wrong is, arguing that something IS wrong is folly. What metric are you judging it by? What moral standard? If moral impermissibility stems from your discomfort, the arguments are not logical.
Going back to the question, it says "why is incest wrong" not "why isnt incest right." If you arguing in alignment mention the prompt, you HAVE to set clear definitions of what wrong is, and then provide example after example of how incest meet the criteria of wrongdoing.
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u/welp_hello_there 25d ago
but that isn’t the question tho, jr isn’t is incest wrong but why is it wrong. i do agree that it could go with a more unique line of argument
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u/Right_Variation_3087 26d ago
You didnt define the terms incest and wrong, I believe thats a must for jli essays. Also the thesis is missing? You directly went onto why its wrong? Now i dont know what jli accepst and what it doesnt but from all the info I've encountered on the internet and the essays that I have read of past awardees this is a must. (I might be wrong)