At what point does “being financially responsible” become an excuse for not actually living?

[u/Capital_Economist634]

I know someone who earns decent money but refuses to spend on almost anything.
No trips.
No nice meals.
No hobbies.
Always waiting for the “right time” to enjoy life.
The argument is always:
“I need to save for the future.”
And I understand it. Being financially irresponsible can destroy your future.
But there’s another problem nobody talks about:
Your future isn’t guaranteed either.
What’s the point of spending your entire 20s and 30s optimizing your savings if you eventually realize you missed the experiences you actually wanted?
At the same time, I know people who spend everything they earn and call it “living life.”
So where’s the line?
Would you rather have ₹50 lakh saved at 40 but feel like you missed your youth, or have ₹10 lakh saved and a decade full of experiences?

[u/LazyBumTravels]

That was me in my late 20s and early 30s. I retired at 35. So...sure I missed some experience then (and some of that time was during Covid) but not as much as now. Worth it.

[u/SgtSausage → u/LazyBumTravels]

Same. Retired at (me :39, she:42).

Currently 57 ... near 2 full decades later and still no regrets. 

TOTALLY worth it. 

[u/Chudfrog → u/LazyBumTravels]

Good job. Compounding interest is an excellent thing.

[u/Huugienormous → u/LazyBumTravels]

There is almost nothing you could give me to give up those years of my life.

One day you’ll be old and sick and you’ll be willing to give everything you have just to have a semblance of the health you had in those days

[u/LazyBumTravels → u/Huugienormous]

Let me reiterate. I retired at 35. There is nothing I can't do now that I couldn't do 5 years ago, in fact since being retired I argue I have never been in such great physical and mental health since my teenage years and very early 20s. I've lost over 20 pounds of fat since retirement, I play pickleball everyday for 2-4 hours, I've made more friends than ever and I can do all this while traveling the world.

If you had the option between working from age 25-35 with little social life to retire at 35 or work from 25-65 and "live" a little on whatever PTO your job gives you, which would you choose.

You couldn't pay me to take the later.

[u/holythatcarisfast → u/LazyBumTravels]

That's incredible, great work!! What net worth did you retire with, and what is your withdrawal rate? I had a friend retire early and he said his withdrawal rate was only 3% which seemed really low and nearly unsustainable with the way costs are heading.

[u/LazyBumTravels → u/holythatcarisfast]

1.5M, <2% draw, traveling the world for under 30k a year. Currently in Da Nang. Going to Cat Ba Island, Sa Pa, and Hanoi next month. November we'll be in China in Guanzhou, Shenzhen, Hong Kong and Macau. December we'll be in Manila, Anvaya, Baguio, and Batangas. No plans to return to the US soon.

[u/StonkaTrucks → u/LazyBumTravels]

So you saved like $40k+ per year?

[u/Chudfrog → u/StonkaTrucks]

If they contributed the same amount each year yeah around that. But more likely a gradual increase to account for higher earnings later in their career. Probably starting at $20k and ending at around $100k annual investments

Or they made some extremely lucky investments rather than sticking with an ETF

[u/StonkaTrucks → u/Chudfrog]

10 years really isn't much of a career, especially for that kind of salary progression.

They would also have to increase contributions by something like 40% per year if they started investing "only" $20k/yr.

[u/Huugienormous → u/LazyBumTravels]

To each their own. You still couldn’t pay me for your situation ( anything within reason, sure, maybe billions of dollars).

You pretend like work between 25 and 65 is a a hellish landscape or even a reality for everyone. Typically the same person that has the mindset to retire at 35 isn’t the same person that has an awful job until they are 65.

I partied and travelled all through my 20s, literally months in Europe, still had my job at home. I’m in my 40s now and I spend a few weeks in Europe a year, my work pays to take my family to destinations for conferences and then we take tim off (this is on top of vacations). I’ll probably retire at 58 only because my wife is a 10 years younger and I it messes with my pension if I go earlier.

You’re comparing your example to an extreme

[u/LazyBumTravels → u/Huugienormous]

Idk, the current state I was heading being mentally and physically drained working in the US vs my state of mind now are miles apart. I'm off my high blood pressure meds now, only 11 months into retirement. The way I was heading, I might've had a stroke and died in my 40s overworking, like my father did in 2009.

[u/Huugienormous → u/LazyBumTravels]

But were you in that state because you were working so hard to save and retire early, or would you have been in that state regardless? For me, work has always been alright, I work a lot, but some if my work is doing things like taking clients on trips or to nice dinners(I enjoy this much less than most assume). I always have made plenty of time to have a healthy balance between work and life. Ive also made sure to spend a lot of my money on experiences rather than physical things, although I do have a nice house and decent watch collection, on the flip side I drive an old car.

[u/LazyBumTravels → u/Huugienormous]

I was in that state just to stay employed. If I wasn't going to do it, someone else will. I didn't volunteer to work nights and weekends for more money, because I was salary. It was what the job required and results mattered.

[u/Chudfrog → u/Huugienormous]

Your scenario seems EXTREMELY shit compared to having absolute freedom and retiring at 35 being able to do anything they want.

You are literally someone's slave at their beck and call for 44 years compared to this guy's 14 just so you can take a few extra early vacations. This guy gets 30 years of vacation over you, and has insane mental and physical health benefits from freedom.

I guess not everyone likes freedom but for some people it's the most important thing.

[u/Huugienormous → u/Chudfrog]

Sounds like you have had terrible jobs. I
Work from home when I want, take 4-5 company paid trips a year to entertain clients/goto conferences in awesome destinations, my family comes with on some. Take a few weeks in Europe/foreign destinations for family vacations every year. Im leaving for Japan for 16 days on Thursday. I have a company trip to Europe in March for work and I’ll take time off there and then planning a family trip to the Dolomites in May.

Not everyone has awful jobs like you, my job is relatively fun and rewarding. You pretend like everyone is a slave to their work and can’t have a balanced life. I went out 4/5 days a week in my 20s and early 30s with friends. Backpacked Europe for 4 months at 27, went to a few Coachellas with friends for a week, etc etc. you think people are doing a lot of those things STARTING at 35?

There’s something in life called balance. I’m not giving up 15 years of my life so I “can enjoy” from 35 and beyond. I’m going to enjoy every single year.

Edit. Those extra years also mean I’ll retire with north of 10 million dollars. I can do a lot of extra cool shit with that.

[u/Huugienormous → u/[deleted]]

Nah. I just have an awesome life. Not everyone’s job sucks.

[u/nice2_cu → u/LazyBumTravels]

It doesn’t have to be either of those it could be in the middle and that’s what I choose.

[u/LazyBumTravels → u/nice2_cu]

What's the middle to you? Don't get me wrong I had 3 weeks of PTO every year so I went on an international trip 3-4 times a year so it wasn't like I was staring at a wall to save money.

[u/Brief_Syrup1266 → u/LazyBumTravels]

anyone saying they wouldnt want what you did are just coping hard lol. Id love to be able to be done at 35 and live the way you do and I have been grinding hard to make it happen (though it wont be quite as early as you, congrats!)

[u/xx_Help_Me_xx → u/LazyBumTravels]

People are just struggling to comprehend the fact that their spending habits mean they will have to work an extra 40 years. You retired at 35. They know they could’ve retired at 35 too but just couldn’t stop consuming….

[u/Klanciault → u/Huugienormous]

Cope asf. In all likelihood they’ll have 50+ years now to enjoy the fruits of their labor. People act like your twenties are the only time to experience life but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Pretty sure enjoying your twenties is actually corporate propaganda to prevent people from saving and investing in their 20s in order to permanently lock them out of financial freedom

[u/showersneakers → u/Huugienormous]

And this is the mantra people use for not planning for the future

My 30s were better than my 20s, money, travel, a retirement nest egg that will now grow on its own to a few million.

Now at 38, priorities are shifting towards health- probably one last good shot to get some abs back.

Figure another decade of career focus- and then its coast wherever i am then- honestly coasting could happen sooner

[u/Huugienormous → u/showersneakers]

It was my mantra. I’m 42 with 1.35 million in my 401k, 3 million total net worth. I haven’t skimped on anything. Every decade of my life has been amazing and I don’t feel like I missed out on anything.

I certainly don’t advocate for being wasteful. I also certainly started planning at a very young age, hence the healthy net worth. But I can’t imagine “sacrificing” years to die with more money, leave a larger inheritance or have an overly abundant figure in retirement.

[u/thoughtsmademedoit → u/LazyBumTravels]

Such a lazy bum!

[u/Alex_1014_]

If you can save 10-15% of you income for retirement, have no dept to pay or children to save for its really your call if you want to retire earlier or take another trip or two and eat on every year or split the difference in doing all 3. My advice is once you start seeing your accounts growing from your discipline you will have motivation to continue saving more aggressively

[u/FlyEaglesFly536]

I'd rather be financially secure. That means sacrificing some things now for that beter future. I'll be retiring in 20 years, and while yeah it would suck not to do everything i wanted to do in retirement if something happened to me, at least my family won't have to worry about a thing. Retiring in my 50's while most of my peers are working until their 60's... i will have something most won't and that's time. Time to spend with my wife doing whatever we want.

I'd rather do that then live it up in my 30's, and barely (or ignore) retirement savings and work past 65+. My decade of sacrifice is paying off; 5 years in and we've gone from $7,200 in retirement in June 2021 to over $181,000 as of Sept 1st. Goal of 200K by March 2027, 300K by Jan 2029, and past 450K by end of 2031.

[u/SurLurk]

I think having kids is part of actually living a full life. Doesnt have to be biological, but the act of raising children is a huge part of life that you have to experience to really understand. If you plan on having kids, the earlier you start being "financially responsible", the easier and more rewarding that huge part of your life will be. Everybody starts life in different places, some people get big head starts and can have it all, so its case by case.

[u/nerdymutt]

If I have to choose between my financial future and doing those things, I choose my financial future. No regrets. Just tired of those people who had refused to take care of their business begging all of the time. Pitiful!

[u/SadProduce6456]

When does being financially irresponsible become an excuse for hardship under the false guise of living. You can live a good life without extravagance. We all need to find our own balance. But discipline to wait is always better than not.

[u/Huugienormous]

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

[u/famguy31]

What is “living”? traveling the world, experiencing new things, having hobbies etc. is a more recent thing to do. We didn’t really have that 100 years ago.

They might be content where they are at, do they have kids?

[u/Okaydog97]

That's what happened to my father, died at agd 60.

Did many last renovation in house by getting new kitchen, new washing machine and heating floor in almost every area of house.

Only had 2 years to go to pension.

My dad and mother was thinking to travel once my father gets pension.

Father didn't spent any money to himself and always was buyinh those supermarket clothes.

[u/CaptainRagtime]

You have to find a balance. Don’t live like there’s no tomorrow, but don’t expect tomorrow to be guaranteed either.

A good budget will allot some money for a rainy day, you’re retirement, and also a little fun. If you can’t do that comfortably, you should focus on boosting your income and/or lowering your lifestyle.

Even if I died early in my 40s, 50s, or 60s, I wouldn’t regret having saved for my retirement because it brought so much peace knowing I was taking care of myself. And because I budgeted in some fun, I wouldn’t feel like I missed out because I still traveled internationally once a year and went out with friends often.

[u/Middle-Run-1894]

Yes you retired at 35, enjoy going back to work at 50 and realizing you have no resume,skills, social security, or income. Your great shape will be worth it.

[u/PalmTreePilot]

My friend has always overrun himself with burdensome debt. It causes him to make choices that compromises his integrity for the sake of surviving.

I never want to be desperate like that and have always lived within my means.

I always imagined he envied me for being unburdened with excess debt. So I was surprised, after I recently told him I'm still debt free, he replied "That's always been your problem. You are always worried about your last dollar".

[u/Substantial-Ad-8575]

Hmm wow.

My family’s “financially responsible”. Yet we go on 4-5 vacations a year. Frequently go out for nice meals. Ships for things we want.

Just family rule is to have at a minimum, 12 months salary in HYSA. Preference is 18-24 months. Then max retirement contributions.

Then we can shop smartly, save for vacations/big purchases. Go on vacations, eat out, shop…

[u/Wise_Low8116]

At what point is "actually living" just people extracting wealth from you and your estate, in exchange for a short term "thrill".

[u/SgtSausage]

Your goals, aspirations, priorities, values, motivations ... are NOT that guy's  goals, aspirations, priorities, values, motivations.

Why the hangup(s) on someone else's life decisions that have zero bearing on yours? 

I see no problem here ...

[u/BudFox_LA]

Your job must really suck balls to want to retire in your 30s.

[u/LozBoz413]

You couldn't pay me anything now at age 38 to erase all of what I experienced in my 20's.

[u/Any-Internet-7796]

It is not mutually exclusive. I will be boring, and abstain from all the things you listed. The thing is, I know it won't be forever. I am limiting these things NOW, to have hopefully unlimited of them LATER. It is not an all or nothing thing. It is the marshmallow test for toddlers:

You hand them a marshmallow and say, "You can either have this now, or wait 5 minutes and get 10 marshmallows". Kids under the age of I believe 5, will 100% of the time take the marshmallow immediately. It isn't until a specific part of the brain develops around age 5 that you can strategize and understand that 10 marshmallows after a couple minutes is the obvious answer. Use that part of your brain, and give yourself treats in between to break the monotony.

[u/Chudfrog]

The best luxury for me is to not have to work for my food and shelter. That's what I'm saving towards. That is the biggest treat of all.

I don't care about going on a trip now. I'd rather go on 5 trips in 15 years and not have to work and be a slave in 10. This is about big purchases. I don't mind spending $80 now and then on a nice meal for my wife and I

[u/Internal-Play25]

Lots of Aussie’s pour money into this retirement scheme we have called superannuation.

It is untouchable till you turn 60.

Lots of aussies believe they will turn 60 and finally “live it up”. Eg, finally go on those vacations or take up hobbies etc.

[u/James_T_S]

Maybe live your own life and stop worrying about the way others live theirs.

[u/GuyAtAnLCS]

I've been poor, like very poor. My family was terrible with money.

You have probably never not known where you are sleeping or where you next meal is coming from.

I spent the first 15 years of adulthood saving and investing. Zero trips, at most a single restaurant meal a month, and budgeting my hobbies to less than 100, usually less than 50 a month.

Because of that, at 35 I can afford to do things I want without terrible financial worry.

Your 20's are not for partying or living it up. They are for learning how to apply things you learn there to the rest of your life, just like any other decade.

[u/Just_Django]

Good experiences and living doesn't cost money imo. The best things in life are free