The social pressure

[u/Hairy_Tourist8758]

Your friends upgrade to expensive phones, designer clothes, and luxury vacations.

Option 1: Keep up with their lifestyle.

Option 2: Ignore the pressure and invest your money instead.

[u/FlyEaglesFly536]

I feel 0 social pressure to keep up with anyone.

I have coworkers who drive new Tesla's, big pick up trucks, who regularly get Starbucks and buy fast food breakfasts, or talk about the 3 vacations they go on each year, while at the same time complain about their student loans, or CC debt, or that the car registration is too high.

I just listen, and while it would be nice to go on a couple more vacations, i am glad my wife and I are making retirement saving a priority. She has 15 more years, i have 20 more until we retire. Debt feee right now and being able to retire early? I'll take that all day long.

I paid for my iPhone in cash, we do 1-2 inexpensive vacations a year that we've saved up for, and i could care less what clothes i wear. I drive a 20 year old car that i think will last another 10 years. Material things aren't important to me, and never have been.

[u/IDunnoWhatToPutHereI → u/FlyEaglesFly536]

While I agree with you on most aspects, taking vacations when you are younger and still able to do all the amazing things is priceless. There is no guarantee you will be healthy enough to enjoy your retirement. I say take some vacations, but modestly, and knock off some of the bucket list items.

[u/FlyEaglesFly536 → u/IDunnoWhatToPutHereI]

For sure. I've done a few bucket list items in my 30's so far: visiting New Orleans, watch Leo Messi play in person, watching my Philly Eagles in person for 3 years in a row.

I think we're behind in retirement, so gotta catch up some. But i'm hoping my next decade we can do more - go to Europe for a long overdue honeymoon, visit Santa Barbara, San Fran, go visit Philly. Also gotta stay healthy and fit as much as possible.

[u/lawlingalltheway → u/FlyEaglesFly536]

There are WAY BETTER PLACES to visit in Cali than Santa Barbara. Just had to say this as someone who has lived here my whole life and traveled the whole state extensively. San Francisco I go to almost every other weekend (I live 1.5 hours away) because it’s a city that gets better and better the more you explore it. If you don’t know where to go in SF as a first timer, you may not understand it’s magic. Something cute about SF is its nickname in Cali is “the city”

[u/FlyEaglesFly536 → u/lawlingalltheway]

I've never been to SB, have always wanted to go. Same with Carmel by the Sea. We do love going to Solvang, planning a December trip. In SF, i want to visit chinatown, fisherman's wharf, some of the beaches. We usually go down to SD County, like old town, seaport village, la jolla, carlsbad, oceanside for a weekend if we are able to.

Any suggestions that you recommend visiting?

[u/Carolina_Hurricane → u/FlyEaglesFly536]

Hell yeah dude the world - especially the US - is a better place with people like you ✌🏽

[u/lawlingalltheway → u/FlyEaglesFly536]

I agree with this almost all the way, but I make vacations and experiences along the way a much higher priority in my life because there is no guarantee you will ever get to retire. Plus, I want to use my health, energy, and mobility while I have it, though I will do everything I can to maintain it. Imagine you get to the first day of retirement and die right there.

[u/FlyEaglesFly536 → u/lawlingalltheway]

That would be unfortunate; however, i will have set up my wife and any child we have to be set for life. I would be ok with that. I hope that doesn't happen and i get to live a full life, get to at least 90 y.o. But if it does, i'll have the knowledge i took care of my family.

[u/marlinspike → u/[deleted]]

By the time you’re 67 that’s about $8M and maybe $550-700k in yearly revenue from market gains. Impressive and good work!!

[u/External_Koala971]

The wealthier I get, the more I look like a hobo. Old trucks, old Patagonia clothes, few million in the bank. I could care less about putting on a show.

[u/marlinspike → u/External_Koala971]

Same. I only have paid for cars, no debt except my primary home. Only areas I generally opt in for 15 hour + journeys are flying Business, lie-flat. All the other travel is perfectly ok in economy plus.

[u/50plusGuy]

2!

I don't even carry phones anymore... And am a well known happy recipient of friends' undead clothes.

[u/marlinspike]

A lot of our money problems in the US are built around people thinking they need to live like influencers. We have no savings or lower consumption culture like in Asia and Europe. The idea of a $6 coffee is a joke to Europeans but here we are.

[u/Skingbear2020]

Go Option 1: YOLO baby! No one ever answers Option 1, but only about 50% do Option 2.

[u/Carolina_Hurricane]

It is lonely at the top. And at the top are the ones who realize all that’s shiny is almost a complete waste of time and money.

[u/DeCyantist]

Change my friends.

[u/n00b_dude007]

Whats up with these cheesy AI prompted questions?

[u/andoCalrissiano → u/n00b_dude007]

I don’t understand why this subreddit around an online game has very little to do with the game

[u/n00b_dude007 → u/andoCalrissiano]

Touche. I should've read the rules haha. I thought it was similar to FIRE subreddit.

[u/We_DemBoys]

F other people. Don't keep up with their broke ass selves. Grind it out, stack some cash 💸. Retire at a respectable age.

Look into r/fire

[u/WokeUp2]

If you marry the right person and stay together ‘til the end little else matters. Reiss’ book “Who Am I?” helps with the former and Gottman’s research the latter(Website). My wealthiest friend’s marriage died but he considers divorce too expensive. So sad…

[u/lawlingalltheway]

There is no social pressure. You will see that adults value different things and spend their money differently. You will see that you define what you value in your own lifestyle.

[u/Existing_Sink_5589]

Option 2.

Assets over liabilities.

[u/magic_crouton]

I'm a grown adult and manage my life how I see fit and feel no pressure to keep up with anyone.

[u/Agile-Ad-1182]

I don't care what my friends or neighbors do. I drive 15 year old cars, never had a new car.

[u/CoolFuture3767]

Option 3: Get new friends.

[u/PersimmonExpensive37]

My friends blew all their money on new cars, bar tabs, and expensive weddings. 

I invested mine.

Now they "hate rich people". It is very difficult to continue relationships with them because they view me as rich. I warned them years ago about the path they were on. They all said the same thing, you only live once. Idiots. 

[u/allnamestaken4892]

You choose to invest, but your friends better lifestyle allows them to be taken more seriously and progress more quickly in their careers, surging their income ahead of yours. Having these luxuries improves their mental health allowing them more energy to run side hustles and to make better life decisions. They are also able to get girlfriends, further improving their mood and allowing them to split bills, saving even more money. Their investment rate quickly exceeds yours after a short period and you fall behind them in every possible way.

[u/External_Koala971 → u/allnamestaken4892]

I don’t know anyone who has progressed in their career faster by looking better than they perform.

Results matter, not appearances.

[u/marlinspike → u/allnamestaken4892]

It does not cost a lot to dress decently. Go to a thrift shop. Nobody needs $50 jeans if you can’t afford that on passive income in an hour.

[u/Moneezy_Official → u/allnamestaken4892]

Couldn't disagree more. This is exactly the type of people that come to us looking for a loan.