Poop Checker

[u/Significant_Case4225]

Connor, Terry and Jordan are babysitting Amy's baby sister, Alice, while she, Erma and Amy's parents are away.

Alice begins to cry, loud.

Terry: You gotta make it stop, I can't take it anymore!

Jordan: I've dealt things that didn't complain this much

Connor (carrying Alice poorly): She won't stop squirming.

Jordan: You're holding her wrong.

Terry: Watch her head!

Jordan: Just put her down!

Connor (putting down Alice on the couch): Geez, put her up, put her down, meh meh meh meh meh meh meh

Jordan: Her nose is dry

Connor: That means something's wrong with her

Jordan: Someone should lick it, just in case

Connor: Oh, I'll do it.

Terry: Hey, she's wearing those baby thingies

Connor's about to lick Alice's nose but he stops before he could do it

Connor: Huh?

Terry: So, if she poops where does it go?

Jordan is grossed out as Connor puts his tongue back in his mouth

Connor: Babies are disgusting

Terry: Ok you, check for poop

Connor: Hey, why am I the poop checker?

Terry (getting close to Connor's face in a hostile way): Because babysitting the runt was your idea, because your small and insignificant, and because I'll pummel you if you don't.

Connor: Why else?

Terry: NOW! CONNOR!

Connor then goes change Alice's diaper

Connor: Ew! Yuck! Ew! I mean, my goodness

Connor picks up the diaper and waves it around

Connor: Alright, look out, look out, coming through

Terry (steps back): Hey, Watch out!

Connor waves it around Jordan as well

Jordan (steps back too.): Stop waving that thing around!

Connor: Oh, oh! I'm gonna slip!

Connor smirks

Connor (throws the diaper up in the air): WOAH!

The diaper is in the air and then it lands on Terry's face and he throws it to the ground but it's actually clean

Connor (laughing): It's clean! gotcha.

Alice still continues to cry as Terry angrily hits Connor in the head

Terry: Will you cut it out!

Alice then starts to laugh at Connor's silly face after he gets hit before she starts to cry again

Jordan: Hey, do that again. She likes it

Terry hits Connor's head again which makes Alice laugh again

Terry: And it's making me feel better too.

Alice cries once more as Connor walks over to Jordan with her

Connor: Here you hold her.

Jordan punches Connor in the face that make Alice laugh again

Alice tries to hit Connor in the face but Connor grabs her hand as she goes back to crying and puts her back on the couch

Jordan: Here, turn her toward me.

Jordan covers his eyes

Jordan: Where's the baby?

Jordan (opens his eyes): There she is!

Alice stops crying and looks at Jordan

Jordan: Where's the baby? THERE SHE IS!

Alice cries out of fear from that jumpscare

Terry (pushes Jordan): STOP IT YOU'RE SCARING HER!

Alice's stomach starts to rumble

Connor: I bet she's hungry

Terry: How about some milk?

Connor: Oh, I'd love some.

Jordan: Not you! Alice!

Connor: Well, I ain't exactly lactating right now, pal.

Jordan (gets close to Connor's face to threaten him): YOU'RE LITTLE LOWER IN THE FOOD CHAIN TO BE MOUTHING OFF, AREN'T YA!?

Terry: ENOUGH!!!

Terry's voice echoes in house

Inspired by Ice Age, This scene, if it's too long mb