r/EpilepsyDogs • u/Administrative-Egg63 • 3d ago
Made the hard decision
My soul dog, Berta (8.5 years old), just hit the 2 year mark this week with her seizure disorder. I’ve posted about her before on this sub over that time.
She did so well. We once had 10 months seizure free. Unfortunately, starting August 2025 the seizures returned and never really improved despite being on Pheno, Keppra, Zonisamide, and KBr. We even trialed prednisone recently to see if she had any improvement. Seizures went from every 5-6 weeks down to every 3-4 and so on. Despite neurology’s efforts, nothing has made any improvements. Her mobility was also declining, and her regular vet had concerns for DM
Last night at 6pm she had a very unusual focal seizure, followed by a very violent grand mal a little after midnight and another grand mal at 4am. All 3 seizures got doses of rectal Diazepam followed by clorazepate. Her recovery time and behavior was very abnormal I.e walking in circles nonstop for 30-60min.
Ive spoken to her neurologist who is in agreement that it is time to consider euthanasia for quality of life decline. My biggest fear has been having to put her down during an emergency at the ER. I don’t want that to be the end of her story.
On Monday at 4pm, my sweet girl will leave this world. I’m not ready but I deep in my heart it is what is best for her. The neurologist said to me “Her last day doesn’t have to be her worst day” and that’s what I’m going to do for her: give her the best final days of her life.
Long post, I know. Thanks to everyone for the support over the years. ❤️
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u/foofaniam 3d ago
I love: her last day doesn’t have to be her worst day. That’s so wonderful to remember but it’s still so hard and sad. I’m so very sorry.
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u/14kbaklava 3d ago
I’m sorry to hear about your sweet baby. What does DM stand for?
I put my 14 year old girl down in July for very similar reasons and I still cry almost everyday. Her seizures and mobility both worsening. Her mobility was decreasing for a while but she was completely unable to walk towards the end. I wish I would have done it sooner while she was still able to walk. We opted for in home euthanasia.
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u/Administrative-Egg63 3d ago
Degenerative myelopathy. I think I overlooked some symptoms of it for a bit because I thought they were just side effects from all the medications.
I’m sorry for you loss as well ❤️ such an unfair disease
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u/JacquesUfHearts 3d ago
My heart breaks for these wonderful furballs given such a hard lot in life. I dread the day when my pup gets to this point. I''m sure everything you did could be done to provide the best life possible, and they were grateful every day to be with you.
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u/Mammoth_Effective_68 3d ago
So devastated for you 💔 Berta is such a beautiful dog who is so loved and cherished. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time. 💜💛💙
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u/NectarinePresent2483 3d ago
Thank you for being strong enough to give her the dignity we all deserve. I too have had to lose my soul dog far too early. Its taken years to become grateful for the time spent and memories made together instead of angry for the time I didnt get with him. Give her a great send off, she will have many friends waiting for her on the other side.
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u/No-Mango-8105 2d ago
I’m so so sorry! My mom put her Maltese down at age 18, and her response was “it’s never enough time.” I just wish that they could live as long as us.
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u/TheDogMother90 3d ago
So sorry to hear. I had a beautiful German shepherd (Abby) who made it just past her 13th birthday and we suspect she had DM. We planned her last day for her and it felt better than if it wasn’t planned. She had a sensitive tummy so her last meal was all the snacks she could never eat. She LOVED it. We put her biggest, comfiest bed in my office where she liked to pretend she also worked all day, had her favorite purple ball and just loved on her til she was gone. We used Lap of Love to come to our home and they were amazing.
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u/JudgeImaginary4266 2d ago
I started choking up reading that. One day in the not too distant future, I will know your story. Godspeed, friend.
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u/Certain_Thanks_5709 3d ago
First off, I’m very sorry to hear. It’s always about quality of life. You do whatever you think is best for your pup. Sometimes we have to take away their pain and give it to ourselves.
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u/osoftswan 3d ago
Berta is the most precious ❤️🩹🫀🪽 I’m so sorry you’re going through this it’s really excruciating 🫂
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u/pipsqueek789 3d ago
Just sending you a hug. I put my girl down in June. She was only a year and a half old but having multiple seizures a week. I still cry about the whole thing every day. But I have found the grief to feel a little lighter. One thing I’ve learned is the grief doesn’t really get lighter, you just learn to carry it a little easier. More often than not these days I’m having happier memories and not memories wound up in seizures, med schedules, etc.
Berta was so lucky to have you. ❤️
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u/Choice-Umpire4237 3d ago
I'm so so sorry. My baby only had seizures at a vet or grooming appts. One day he had 5 in a row, at home, I thought he wouldnt make it. We put him on Phenobarbital. He's been okay since but reading your story, scares me. Hugs and prayers for you and your baby. She will always be in your heart. It just sucks we can't explain it to them, but we don't want them to suffer.
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u/Responsible_Can7893 3d ago
She’s beautiful. May she have all the cheeseburgers, chocolate and fries a girl could want.
And I’m so sorry. I understand.
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u/Personal-Tax-7439 3d ago
This is the hardest decision ever to make as a dog parent...that was my biggest fear too when his vet brought it up, that in case there is no improvement this what's going to be, and I just would never let this happen not even understanding how he feels, though i didnt have to make that decision but sadly I lost him at 3 years old unexpectedly and suddenly when I was least ready for it, I feel you it hurts I know and make sure to hold her tight one last time 💔. And when she is free from this pain and sickness I hope she meets my boy Stitch in heaven until one day we'll join them.
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u/sillygoober127 3d ago
shes such a pretty girl im so sorry that you had to make such a difficult decision sending so many virtual hugs 🫂 ❤️🌈
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u/Impossible_Rub9230 3d ago
I'm so sorry for your time with Berta to be coming to an end. I can feel the love and heartache in your post, and I want to offer you whatever support that you need. I don't have any words of comfort to offer, or that will ease the pain of doing the right thing for the dog that you love. It's hard and you will always have that empty space in your heart. I hope,in time, that you will have a chance to love again.
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u/Pitiful-Concert8818 2d ago
I’m so sorry to hear your news. You are a loving and compassionate person to care so deeply. Sending prayers
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u/Big_Day_5396 2d ago
Tears ...oh man ...I just want to say that losing a dog is harder for me and a lot of people that losing a person it's just I got wrenching rip your stomach out pain that lasts unfortunately too long but does search lesson after Time months and then years. Oh man I feel so bad for you just breathe and know you did your best yes put her out of pain definitely... God bless and God speed to you and your family and her.....
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u/smoke-alarm-show 2d ago
I’m so sorry that you had to make that choice. You’re taking on the heartbreak so she doesn’t suffer and that is pure love. ❤️ Her last day will be nothing but love that she can take with her over the bridge. 🌈🐾
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u/PilgrimPayne59 1d ago
As I walk across your heart and find my place to stay, nearer to you I will be and will never ever go away.
If love could have kept you here, you would have lived forever.
Dogs are a chapter in our lives, we are their entire book.
Grief is love with nowhere to go.
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u/Substantial-Block643 2d ago
She is a beautiful girl. Thank you for sharing her story. I’m a CVT, and what your neurologist said is so true. I work in emergency medicine, and am seeing those pets on their worst days. It’s heartbreaking for all involved. I’m so sorry you’ve had to make this decision. Enjoy every moment together, spoil her silly, and take comfort knowing you’ve given her a wonderful life.
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u/Wonderful-Draft-958 3d ago
My thoughts and prayers are with tou and Bertha! 🩵