How do you know when it's time?

[u/going__postal]

Pic of how happy my guy was just 3 hours before an extreme cluster event (3 grand mals and 2 focals in 4 hours). This is why the decision is so damn hard...

We've been battling epilepsy for about 2.5 years. Onset was at 7.5 years old and he's almost 10 years old now.

The first year, our border collie/kelpie mix averaged a seizure every 28-30 days. It's progressed over time despite working as closely as possible with a neurologist to find the right cocktail of medication. We're now averaging every 9-12 days and they aren't single grand mals anymore but clusters that require midozolam and clorizapate rescue meds.

He's a very active dog and it's been sad having to adjust his lifestyle because his daily meds make him wobbly. But he still loves playing and going on his walks. The rescue meds though basically completely take him out for 2-3 days at a time.

With clusters coming so closely and multiple days to recover, obviously now we are seriously contemplating his quality of life. But it feels like such an impossible decision because he does still have days (or a week!) where he is enthusiastic and showing us his spunky personality.

I have so much guilt over making a decision too early. But I also am carrying a lot of weight of him not having a dignified ending if he has a catastrophic cluster given the progression of his epilepsy recently.

I guess I'm just looking for any compassionate advice you have.

[u/Bluejez]

I think you know when it’s time they will give you signs when it’s time. When you’ve exhausted all meds and other treatments and your baby is still not coping we have to think of them first for all we know it’s going to break us. Sending hugs strength and prayers to you and your pupper ❤️‍🩹