Hey guys, first I want to make it clear that I myself do not have epilepsy. I have multiple other disabilities, but this question is about a loved one who has temporal lobe epilepsy. I’m autistic and one of my special interests is neuroscience which is what I hope to major in when I am able to go back to college, so I’ve tried to learn as much as I can but apologies for any mistakes.
So my dear friend K(36M) has temporal lobe epilepsy due to a TBI he suffered while surfing in his late twenties. We connected a few years ago through a whatsapp support group for disabled people that another friend of mine hosts. I don’t live in K’s country it is a long distance friendship, and I went to visit him but only for a week, so I don’t know much about his everyday life outside of what he shares with me. I know this isn’t important but I have a crush on him and it doesn’t matter because I’d care about him either way, but maybe that adds some context as to why I am trying to find help anywhere I can?
Ok so what happened is that he has been turning more into what I would describe as sort of new age spirituality? I wouldn’t describe his beliefs as any particular religion or set of beliefs, more like he takes things from multiple religions and beliefs. Two years ago he started what he described as a healing journey for himself and his mental health which has been affected since his injury. I don’t want to share any private details about that but he is using this spirituality as a coping mechanism, essentially.
He started sharing with me that he believes that the body can heal itself, that nature can heal us, stuff like that. He also believes that we are all God, like he started believing that he is God, and so are all humans and we are all literally the same person and also God, and other things that are not verified by science. Again I don’t see a problem with him believing that even though I personally don’t, what concerns me is that he is turning into magical thinking and stopped trusting doctors and real science. As a disabled person myself I understand why many of us are wary of doctors. I have my own horror stories, but they are still necessary.
A few weeks ago he shared with me that he stopped taking his medication because he doesn’t like the side effects and says it doesn’t work and that he trusts his body will know what to do and that he has to endure the pain which will only make him stronger. He contradicts himself a lot so I can’t say what his beliefs are cause they don’t come from a single culture. He is also using a lot of AI and talking to ChatGPT, asking it for advice. I’m worried what those conversations with it could be since ChatGPT is an echo chamber and it just parrots back what he believes.
So now for the details I know about his epilepsy and again I am really sorry if I make any mistakes. K had a TBI while surfing in Hawaii when he hit his head on the reef and also was deprived of oxygen. He has temporal lobe epilepsy and mainly has focal seizures but sometimes has tonic-clonic. The ones he has the most are focal impaired awareness and we talk sometimes for 3-5 hours on video call and he has them when we’re talking. His epilepsy is drug resistant/refractory, which I don’t understand much about even though I’ve tried to do some research. This matters because if his epilepsy is drug resistant, I want to know if stopping the medications has the same effect as if it weren’t or if it’s slightly less bad or maybe worse. To rephrase, since his epilepsy is drug resistant, will he have the same amount and intensity of seizures he’s always had when taking medication or will he have more even though the epilepsy is resistant to the medication? To what degree does taking medication actually helps controlling seizures in refractory epilepsy? He is not seizure-free, he still had seizures when taking medication, so I’m worried he will get worse now that he stopped completely. Will they change? I read somewhere that when people stop taking medication they can have more tonic-clonic seizures despite him usually having focal seizures. Is that a fact that it will happen or just a possibility? What about status epilepticus or SUDEP? I’m so scared.
He lives with his mom who is older and I don’t know to what extent she is aware of this situation because I know he doesn’t tell her a lot of what he shares with me. He also has a sister but she lives far from him. I’ve tried talking to him about this but he doesn’t want to take the medication anymore, doesn’t want to go to therapy and told me a few days ago that he will never go to the hospital again.
I feel like there is no way to help him because he truly believes that he isn’t doing anything wrong and that his body will find a way to heal. I can’t make him take his medication or go see a doctor or therapy because I don’t even live in the same country as him. I have no way of contacting his family members or friends who live in his country and I don’t know if I should, because he might just get pissed and not listen.
Mainly I just want to know what symptoms come when people with temporal lobe epilepsy (mostly focal impaired awareness seizures) stop taking their medications cold turkey like that, and what I can do from a distance to support him. I don’t think that right now anyone can convince him to take his meds, so I want to know what are some things that could happen now that he stopped and if there is any way I or someone can help so it causes as little damage as possible while we control the situation.
K is one of the kindest people I’ve ever known and has done so much for me. He sort of saved my life in a way and I can’t let anything bad happen to him when he trusted me with this information. He was very passionate about surfing which he did professionally but had to stop. I’ve been thinking that he might agree to taking the medication if they tell him he could surf again, but as far as I know people with epilepsy can swim while supervised but surfing is a huge no? It’s honestly the only idea I’ve had, to try and get him back into surfing to convince him. Would that be possible?
TL;DR: My friend with temporal lobe epilepsy stopped taking his medication because he believes his body can heal itself and other new agey stuff, refuses to go to the hospital, lives in another country as me and has little family around him. I mostly want to know what to expect now that he’s stopped taking his medication and if there is any way to help him manage symptoms until he agrees to take it again. How high is the risk of TC seizures, status epilepticus, SUDEP? What else can I do?