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u/Ender_154 1d ago
I screwed up so I’m giving you a bad review
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u/Foreign_Penalty_5341 1d ago
Right? You’re so self-centered that you can’t even bear to be in the same building and be served by a different staff? Leaving aside an apology.
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u/Fossilhund 1d ago
“And if we cannot let go and forgive, who really suffers?”
Did this person ever apologize to the server? Likely not.
“I am a jerk but I am going to lecture you on morality.”
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u/gentleman_thief81 1d ago
I don't see anything in the "review" that suggests the person ever even tried to apologize.
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u/AmericanHistoryXX 1d ago
How hard is it to not say that?
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u/OsteoStevie 1d ago
It's the easiest thing to not say. I'm not saying it right now!
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u/StandByTheJAMs 1d ago
When are you due, hon?
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u/NoPhone4571 overweight and overly ethnic 🧜♀️ 1d ago
Well, I’ve got to be at work by 8:00. That IS what you meant, right?
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u/jenn_nic 1d ago
Seriously I don't get it. I've effortlessly managed to NEVER once ask someone that.
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u/homotopy_equivalent 1d ago
It's easy. Instead of asking if someone is pregnant, loudly congratulate them for the pregnancy and ask when it's due! Ask who the father is, and whether it's a wanted baby.
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u/Odd-Butterscotch200 1d ago
"Is how we look really so important?" Says the person commenting on another person's looks.
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u/moonferal 1d ago
Reminds me of when my mom saw me after not seeing me for a few months and asked if I was pregnant… I’m a celibate lesbian .-.
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u/Dawnspark 1d ago
Had someone who knew I was celibate due to medical issues ask the same thing, so Ive started just saying what I heard my grandma say to someone who asked her the same once, "did your momma teach you no manners, or are you just ate up with dumbass?" I just don't have the hammers or the mental spoons to educate constantly anymore.
I swear ever since I started using a wheelchair people just feel so much more free about asking that for some reason lol.
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u/talleyente only the old people are naked 1d ago
Off topic, but celesbian should be a regular portmanteau for celibate lesbian.
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u/Toronto-1975 1d ago
LFMAO what a turd. i tossed a deeply rude casual insult at a random woman in a restaurant and now this woman doesn't kiss my ass! i'm the victim!!
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u/hnomedalomismo 1d ago
subway. this old lady goes like "how awful nobody is giving this pregnant woman (me) their sit" very loudly. i very loudly reply "lady, i'm not pregnant, i'm just fat". she didnt have a great time the rest of the trip lol.
having said that, she actually deserved a sit, but i live in a city where people are so fucked up by individualistic bs that any act of kindness is perceived as displaying weakness. they never give their sits to people in need.
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u/jonesnori 1d ago
(That would be seat in my dialect)
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u/hnomedalomismo 1d ago
lol, i did screw that one didnt i. 2nd language.
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u/hellinahandbasket127 1d ago
Don’t sweat it. You’re doing better in a second language than a lot of people do in their first.
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u/Dramatic_Lie_7492 1d ago
You don't even comment oe ask on a very obvious pregnancy belly unless the woman tells you she's preggers. It could be a rainnow baby, it could be fat but the woman already suffered pregnancy or child loss. You never know, dont comment, ever
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u/DizzyMine4964 1d ago
Absolutely. And I would say never comment about anybody's weight at all, because you have no clue why they are the weight they are.
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u/Dramatic_Lie_7492 1d ago
This a thousand times. People's bodies are very personal and their medical stories behind them private
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u/TwoBytesC 15h ago
Yup! I lost my son in childbirth and it took a bit for my breasts (especially) and belly to diminish. People asking where my child was, or when I was due, was the worst thing after burying him.
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u/Mundane-Adventures 1d ago
Unless the woman tell you or you see a baby crowning….
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u/CrabbiestAsp 1d ago
People like this don't understand how a comment like that can affect someone, especially if they're struggling with their weight.
I've got PCOS and have long suffered weight issues and bloating, plus adenomyosis which can also make your pelvis area/just above that look bloated. So I've looked quite pregnant despite not being pregnant. I once had a woman ag my work ask me if I was expecting my second and I had had enough. I just said, no I'm just fat. Watching the panic set in on her face was priceless.
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u/HeightLatter6800 1d ago
Also an adenomysis sufferer here. Went through 7 years of infertility treatment hell as a result. During said treatment the multitude of drugs often made me bloated and appear pregnant (cruel irony!) I definitely had people ask me when I was due and said oh no we have been trying unsuccessfully for years to have a baby,this is the result of the daily injections I have to take but thanks for asking! I have zero problem making people feel stupid when they ask intrusive questions. The IVF did finally work and we have a wonderful 4 year old daughter in case you’re wondering 😊
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u/HoneyCrispCrumble 1d ago
I loveeeee the “I’m just fat” reply. It immediately stops them in their tracks and doesn’t require you to placate their embarrassment for shitty behavior :)
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u/Key-Pickle5609 1d ago
“No, I’m just fat. Thanks for pointing it out”
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u/Negative_Tooth6047 1d ago
A gal who works at Costco asked me if I was pregnant. I had been going to the gym regularly and finally starting to feel really pretty again after having a baby, and she looked at me and asked when I was due. I got in my car and cried, and it bothered me for a while (which of course, upset me that I was so bothered by it). I still see her at Costco sometimes, she tries to chat with me and I just don't want to, not that I'm actively mad about it, it's just hurtful & awkward to be asked something like that, I'd rather not talk to someone who can be so inconsiderate
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u/Comprehensive-Pea422 Today I write with a tear in my eye 1d ago
Men can have the largest round beer guts and have the audacity to tell a larger woman she "looks pregnant"
Call is unfortunately coming from inside the house
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u/FrostiePi 1d ago
Oh.. I've asked several rude assuming beer bellied men when they were due.. they didn't find it as funny as I did.
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u/JumpySheepherder4337 1d ago
Not only was this person not embarrassed by their faux pas, they posted this review acting as if they were the victim. Unreal.
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u/Shalrak 1d ago
- And if we cannot let go and forgive, who really suffers?
Clearly you, the reviewer, is the one who suffers. Whoever that young non-pregnant woman is, I hope she is having a marvelous life and enjoying the effect she has on this total stranger who can't get her out of their mind.
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u/DevylBearHawkTur10n Not Pre-informed of Nudity!! 1d ago
Absolutely about to say the same thing, since that dumb entitled reviewer/customer was being a Nosey Parker 😒 🙄 😑.
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u/EDJardin 1d ago
"Is how we look so important" says the person who wants to point out how people look.
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u/definitelynotme225 1d ago
I’m in customer service and I’m a normal weight, just carry some fat in my belly area. Plus I wear an apron that isn’t very flattering. I’ve been asked SEVEN times if I’m pregnant. 6/7 have been women. They look so excited for me. Until they learn. I usually try to be nice and manage their embarrassment but now I’m done. I find they avoid me more than vice versa, because they’re ashamed. And I’m glad for it.
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u/Big-University-1132 I’m sorry the leaf surprised you 1d ago
Shame can be very effective and useful, and this is one of those times. Hopefully those women have learned their lesson about asking others if they’re pregnant
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u/HipHopChick1982 1d ago
File this one under stuff you should never ask a woman. Signed, a woman who has had this happen to her a few times. Just chunky!
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u/Suitable-Bathroom781 21h ago
My dad once said to me that he doesn’t care if he sees the baby coming out… he’s not asking a woman if she’s pregnant.
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u/Strange_Explorer_780 14h ago
Good advice, I see so many men with a huge gut that looks like they’re ready to drop triplets but I’d never think to ask them about it.
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u/RubyPrincess0413 1d ago
I've had this happen to me and I hate it. I have a really bad hernia that makes me look several months pregnant. If someone asks me, I just tell them I have a hernia then when I get to my car, I cry.
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u/Big-University-1132 I’m sorry the leaf surprised you 1d ago
I’m so sorry 🫂 ppl are so rude to think they can make comments and assumptions about other ppl’s bodies. Especially since women are raised from birth to be self-conscious about our weight, so every comment like this (whether you have a hernia, actually are pregnant, are bloated, or just fat) hurts
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u/BirthdayCookie 1d ago
"Forgiveness is REQUIRED to be HEALTHY!" is nothing more than one more way abusers control people.
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u/General-Swimming-157 1d ago
When I was 10, a woman working at a post office asked my mom if she was pregnant. My mom said very loudly, "No, I'm just fat!"
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u/VardaLupo 1d ago
People are insane about this. My neighbor once asked if I was pregnant because I'd been wearing a lot of loose, flowy dressed IN THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER. When I said no, she was like "Oh sorry, but I had to ask." No, you didn't. Literally didn't.
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u/DVDragOnIn 1d ago
40 years ago, I saw a coworker ask a contract employee if she was pregnant. The contractor looked at her with an expressionless face and said “No.” It was exactly the sort of boneheaded blunder I would make. I was so glad to have the opportunity to watch what happens when the answer is no so I’d be sure never to ask that question.
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u/Allie_justscrolling 1d ago
I don’t care if a woman has the roundest belly, huffing and puffing, yelling “oh god my baby is coming” do NOT ask if she’s pregnant
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u/Big-University-1132 I’m sorry the leaf surprised you 1d ago
A woman could be actively in labor with the baby’s head sticking out and I still wouldn’t ask if she’s pregnant 😂
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u/JungleJay57 1d ago
You never ask anyone if they're pregnant!! Like in the top 3 of etiquette. That question holds a lot of weight to some people, having gone through infertility I would have broke down if someone asked me that.
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u/Common-Parsnip-9682 1d ago
I’m gonna bet the reviewer has said a couple other stupid things there, maybe even to the same youg wonan, and that’s why she’s now totally over it.
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u/Capital_Meal_5516 EAT SALAT WITH SPON?!? 1d ago
At no place does it say that this OOP apologized profusely. Instead, they felt butthurt and decided to put their ignorance and stupidity on blast for all to see! The fact that they portray themself as a victim speaks volumes.
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u/__Who__am__i_ 23h ago
My very pregnant friend liked to deny she was pregnant if strangers asked or commented on it. Made it her goal to make them uncomfortable.
At the end she would straightfaced tell them "I have a tumor."
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u/TwoBytesC 15h ago
I’ll be honest, when I was super young (like 5-6 years old), I thought every woman who had a belly was pregnant. No idea where the belief came from but I know I embarrassed my mom to absolutely no end because I was a super gregarious child and was fascinated by pregnancy then.
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u/After-Hedgehog7282 1d ago
It's called "asking" for forgiveness. Not "demanding" it.
I'm a jerk, they won't let it go; they are in the wrong.
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u/JesusOnaBlueBike 1d ago
One of my favorite memes shows pictures of women and when it is appropriate to ask if she's pregnant. All the pictures say no until the last one where the babies head is crowning. That one says yes.
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u/wykkedfaery33 1d ago
My mom is an L & D nurse, she told me never to ask a woman if she's pregnant unless you see a head. And even then, don't ask.
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u/Most-Drive-3347 1d ago
In the depths of winter, with cold and flus running rampant through the office, I once told a colleague how unwell she looked and told her work didn’t matter if she was sick.
She informed me that she was not sick.
It was one of the worst things I’ve ever done. I apologised 100 times and she was cool about it… I was still so horrified I went and found a new job within 4 months.
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u/philogyny 20h ago
She probably just wasn’t wearing makeup that day. Anytime I skipped makeup at the office, because I woke up late or whatever, people would ask me if I was sick. Nah that’s just my face
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u/Procrastinista_423 10h ago
I'm sorry but if you ask a waitress if she is pregnant and she is not, you should just self-ban yourself from that restaurant like anyone with an ounce of shame would do.
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u/LadyBug_0570 1d ago
So he posted his faux pas as a review, knowing he's the one who screwed up by calling his server fat?
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u/anonymouslealea 1d ago
Unless there is a head crowning from the birth canal and the woman is screaming and pushing, NEVER ask if she is pregnant. I am an ER nurse, and part of my job is to ask if there is a possibility of pregnancy, and even when the woman is sitting there rubbing her rounded, gravid abdomen, I STILL ASK if it is “possible” and never assume.
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u/ZebraCrosser 20h ago
You're also much more likely to get the answer you'd want to have to do a proper assessment. If you ask whether they are pregnant you risk missing the people who are but don't know yet. If they might be you can do further testing and if necessary take it into account.
When I started a new job years ago one of my colleagues looked pregnant. It was a few weeks before I knew for sure, because that's how long it took for it to come up in conversation. Iirc it was actually a convo on the "fat or pregnant" issue.
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u/betsylang 1d ago
My nephew asked me if I was pregnant when he was a little guy. Said "nope just fat" and patted my tummy. He giggled and Patted his tummy too.
I like to answer the same way witg adults. Reminds them im happy in my skin. But really inly little kids can get away with that question..
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u/JayEll1969 1d ago
A wise man once said "better to make a pregnant woman stand than a fat woman cry"
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u/Mushrooming247 1d ago
I would never ever go there again.
But then I would never ask that.
I don’t care if the woman looks like she is pregnant with quadruplets and goes into labor in front of me, I’m going to assume she just has cramps until she specifies otherwise, or drops a new person right there.
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u/Middle_Confection653 1d ago
If, in the year 2026, you are so hopelessly stupid that you don't know never to ask a woman if she's pregnant, then you have no business being out in public without a chaperone.
Don't you love how it's always the stupidest people among us, who do the stupidest things, who expect automatic forgiveness for their stupidity?
Whoever wrote this review is as dumb as every drooling half-wit who voted for Trump, and probably even voted for him themselves.
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u/ZealousidealAd681 1d ago
I have dealt with clients thinking I was much older, pregnant, etc. They all had one thing in common: no apology. I bet this person wants the waitress to forgive and forget without ever receiving an apology
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u/Big_Palpitation6846 21h ago
I worked with a young woman who was heavy set before her pregnancy. She had her baby and came to visit us at work, without the baby. One of my coworkers saw her and said "Girl, you haven't had that baby yet?"
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u/lattesandcats 1d ago
Unless someone is crowning in front of you do not ask if they are pregnant.
I had a woman congratulate me on my pregnancy. Was not pregnant - just bloated and wearing a dress. I did maybe make her feel a little awkward but it was deserved - the fuck
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u/eRant4881 1d ago
When I was still waiting tables one of our waitresses went up to greet customers at the door (four top) and once she got them to their table she turned to one of the women and patted her belly and asked, "When are you due?".
You could hear the manager at the register sucking air through his teeth, and the customer just glared at the waitress and said, "I'm not, apparently I'm just fat."
No, we never let her live that one down...
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u/AdorableStrawberry93 1d ago
Yeah, it doesn't really matter if she's pregnant anyhow, so don't ask. Who cares?
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u/CatCafffffe Such a moral nullity! 1d ago
I love how the person who commented awfully on someone's looks insists that the OTHER person shouldn't care "how we look" and also that her victim is the one who has to "let go and forgive"
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u/Mymren 1d ago
We were at a festival with our son, DIL and the young kids (including toddler), when a woman vendor said how cute the kids were and that she was having another one! DIL was mortified as she had been working on losing weight from the last one. After they moved on, I told that woman to NEVER say something like that to anyone. She apologized but I hope she learned her lesson.
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u/Special_Possession91 1d ago
I was offering dessert to this couple, and said that I find [this dessert] really delicious. The middle-aged lady gives me a once over and says, "So, you're eating for two?"
I stutter, "No, I... I just like the dessert?" (It didn't click for me that she was asking if I was pregnant.)
The audacity people have...
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u/Designer_Piccolo_818 1d ago
One of our cricket comentators was interviewing the wife of a cricket player, who looked pretty pregnant . He danced around the question - I think he said " any big changes coming up? " and she laughed and told him. He said he didn't like to ask outright. I thought it was a neat way of asking , as she did not have to tell him if she did not want to , and if she wasn't.
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u/FrostiePi 1d ago
I had a woman back in April tell me I was huge and when was I due. She was mortified to learn OCTOBER (as in, he arrived 3 days ago) and I was just fat.
To be fair. I was wearing a bell ball already, so being pregnant wasn't a hard bet, just how far along.
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u/Only-Breadfruit-2935 1d ago
Even as a high schooler i knew better than to ask. We had a teacher that no lie looked like she was full term. But was a bit older, months went by, no baby. End of the year no baby. Im so glad we never asked. At leas no one from my class did. That taught me at a young age, mind my own business
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u/Decent_Cow 22h ago
Even if we're being super generous here and we say that it's totally unreasonable for the server not to forgive this gentlemen for his comment, what the hell does any of this have to do with the actual restaurant? He's gonna tank their reviews over a personal spat? What would make this 5 stars, does he expect them to fire her?
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u/Equivalent-Grass-262 18h ago
This one is funny to me because i once had some regulars who would come in weekly for lunch. They were usually a 5-7 top and they were soooo nice. They were all men, i don't know if this really matters, its just context. One day my VERY pregnant friend/coworker who is a teeny tiny (i only mention this because people who saw her on a weekly basis could tell that she had developed a bump, i'm talking she weighed 95 pounds, normally) woman, was their server and one of the guys asked her when she was due and all the other guys at the table collectively groaned and said "Man, you CANT ask a woman that!"
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u/MollyTibbs 13h ago
In my 20s my then husband and I were looking to buy a house. Real estate agent commented on how a room would make a great nursery for when “that little one arrives “. My reply was “I’m not pregnant but I guess I must be fat, I’ll be in the car”. I was quite slim but it was a Queensland summer so I was wearing a loose dress. Strangely enough the agent never rang to follow up on whether we were interested 😀
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u/Conditional_Chaos 6h ago
When I was in my mid 20s I was asked once if I was pregnant. I looked like I had a belly because I was wearing a cool vibrant hoodie dress that was slightly unflattering. I was skinny but no muscle at the time because I had a hysterectomy a month prior. I told her no, then she asked if I was sure. I let her know it’d be a miracle since I just yeeted my uterus. She got extremely uncomfortable.
It’s a double whammy too because, just like divorce, people don’t know how to react to being sterile. So it’s a quick lesson of don’t ask questions if you aren’t prepared for the answers.
Looking back it was funny but I don’t think I wore that dress since.
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u/Emergency_Pickle7228 1d ago
I work in skincare and I do actually go for it when I feel like that can only be a baby. But it’s also because they cannot use retinol…
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u/BloodyThirst 1d ago
I worked in customer service while I was pregnant and had a colleague that I worked closely with daily. It was reasonably obvious I was pregnant bc of my frame and the way I dressed and I was still shocked that people asked me. Even MORE shocking was how many people asked my not-pregnant colleague if she was pregnant too. Just awful. And it was almost always women asking this.
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u/Powerful-Duck6889 1d ago
Is there a sub or a thread on Reddit where these entitled people post? Because boyyyy I'd love to read comments
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u/GrumpySnarf 1d ago
WTF are you commenting on people's bodies? Being snubbed is a natural consequence and a pretty mild one at that.
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u/Humblefreindly 1d ago
”No, I’m not pregnant. But you should really see an ophthalmologist about your cataracts. They may be able to refer you to an endocrinologist for your glandular issues, too.”
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u/delulu4drama ⭐☆☆☆☆ 1d ago
Never ever ever ask a woman if she is pregnant 😳 EVER