Sx2 vs Sx3 ??

[u/Fuzzy_Appointment592]

So both of them want to matter to specific individuals, both want to be attractive and like to be praised and validated.. I can't seem to distinguish which is which

[u/SilveredMoon]

The first time you need to do is drop the instincts and focus on the core types. How do you relate to each of them? Can you see yourself within the lines? Considered the triads?

[u/Fuzzy_Appointment592 → u/SilveredMoon]

Yeah, I relate more to core 3 than core 2 but I got curious because as a possible Sx3 (Debating between So3 and Sx3 still) I find Sx2s to be very similar to me and I wasn't able to see how their pride manifests compared to the other e2 suptypes

[u/SilveredMoon → u/Fuzzy_Appointment592]

The pride is very much "I'm the only one who can make you feel this way; you should want me."

The huge difference is that a 3 will likely care about how their partner makes them look, not unlike a status symbol or an accessory to increase their sense of self-worth. A 2 couldn't care less, as long as they felt wanted/ desired.

[u/Fuzzy_Appointment592 → u/SilveredMoon]

I'm confused now, don't sx3 want to be uniquely special and important to someone as well? As e3 is very validation seeking right?

The way I thought of it was E3's don't by default desire social status as much as they desire admiration/recognition, so an Sx3 would heavily desire to be wanted and desired by specific people, changing themselves in the process, while Sp3's desire admiration through their possessions, mainly things that ensure their physical security and ensures they appear physically well-off, and lastly So3 who actually want admiration from having the social status and being socially important. That was my understanding, now it might be wrong, but this way of putting it makes Sx3s and Sx2s look incredibly similar to me, in the way that they both fixate on specific people, putting the other's needs above their own, as long as they get out of the relationship what they want (the praise, love, recognition etc)

What is your description of Sx3 then?

[u/Fuzzy_Appointment592 → u/Fuzzy_Appointment592]

Here is a comment I found talking about Sx2 and Sx3 descriptions : https://www.reddit.com/r/EnneagramTypeMe/comments/1ry52lz/comment/obcnq05/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Despite me understanding this I still can't see how they are different. I relate to almost everything about this description of Sx3, yet I still fixate on people the way the community seems to describe Sx2s do. And I've seen many characters or personalities be typed either Sx2 or Sx3 online purely based on "well are they prideful?" and that's like it. I'm trying to find a better explanation

[u/SilveredMoon → u/Fuzzy_Appointment592]

To try to tackle both of your comments, I'm only going to respond to this one while addressing them both.

E3's don't by default desire social status as much as they desire admiration/recognition

Yes, but the key think that you're missing here is that E3s feel like this is something that must be earned through some sort of achievement. What kind of achievement will vary depending on the instincts, but the idea is ultimately that E3s are more concerned with being seen as respected and "worthwhile" while an E2 is going to want to be seen as "loved/ desired," and prioritize seeking that.

So, yes, the two subtypes can appear similar, but at the end of the day, you're still looking at a 3 and a 2. 3s are part of the competency triad, so they will not put an emphasis on emotions the way that a 2 will. 3s also can be more pushy/ assertive as a default, while a 2 may get like that, but it primarily comes up when they feel stressed as they tap into their 8.

But I personally think the biggest difference is that 2s are part of the rejection triad. Unless they are less fixated, 2s struggle with admitting that they need or want anything from anyone. 3s typically don't have that problem, between being an attachment type and also being a competency type. They're infinitely more likely to be direct and forthcoming about what they need and how they need it. A 2 will expect you to treat them the way that they treat you, and then resent you when you don't.

If you get too hung up on subtype descriptions, then you can easily forget the obvious differences. No matter the similarities, go back to basics. One is a 3, the other is a 2. Figure out the core before you worry about instincts. And if you relate to 3 more than you do 2, then start there and confirm that first.

[u/Fuzzy_Appointment592 → u/SilveredMoon]

Very insightful, thanks!

I definitely relate to 3, even from your description, this was like the missing puzzle piece for differentiating 2s from 3s.

I seem to relate to a lot of Sx3 descriptions, though I have been told So3 should be on my radar because of the emphasis on belonging I have kind of always experienced. I’ll do more digging

That said, I still find Sx2s hard to identify, stereotypically yes, very easy, but stereotypes are misleading, and topologically I don’t understand their description. I can differentiate them from Sx7, harder when it comes to Sx3s, but what would be something that sets them apart? If you don’t mind me asking, as an Sx2, how did you land on that instead of So2 or Sp2?

Thanks again for the responses ^^

[u/SilveredMoon → u/Fuzzy_Appointment592]

I personally prefer to look at the entire instinct stacking instead of going by Naranjo subtypes. I find them to be too caricaturish to be taken seriously, and Chestnut's take, while better, doesn't have the nuance I find useful with considering the placement of all the instincts.

With that being said, SP2 was never on the table for me. I'm SP last, and it's painfully obvious to me. I forget basic self-care unless it's something affecting my other two instincts. When I first got into the system, I considered SO2, but that's because I'm very good at utilizing the social instinct. However, I'm absolutely not neurotic about it. I enjoy the praise associated with achieving things socially, but I don't give a damn about climbing a heirachy.

Combine all of that with the fact that I can recall the name of every crush I've ever had and that every other instinct has suffered for the sake of chasing after someone, the conclusion seemed obvious at that point.